That last memory….

There was a long line for the security check. Also, there was some time left yet to get to the gate for boarding. She had come to drop him off for the last time. For the last time. It was going to be the last few moments of togetherness. They both had their friends and his previous roommates for company.
Just a couple of months before, they had decided to part ways for ‘the greater good’. For his family and for her’s, for his future and her’s, it was imperative that they break up. After two years of absolute fabulousness, sprinkled with its ups and downs, it was going to be over. They were reluctant to let go of each other. The connection refused to snap, but they had to break it.
They sat in the lounge with their friends talking about frivolous things. She was laughing at all the jokes, at the funny stories and all the crazy memories. Only he knew of the emotional turmoil her heart was going through. She was losing him. She had that knot in her stomach which signified that those were probably the last few memories she was making of him. She worked hard, really hard, to keep that smile on her face and made sure the tears kept out of her eyes.
And then, it was time. They picked up his bags and made their way to the security line. That was it. He said bye to all his friends. And then he said goodbye to her. As he pulled her into his arms for the last time, she could feel her throat choke up with emotions, with love and with fear. He kissed her for the last time and then let go. She kept waiting to see him inch down the line. She kept stealing those last moments. Those last glances of his face.
And then, he turned, and was gone. Before that he stole that last look at her face. The last memory was made.


Gym rants

So, some colleagues at work started a bet before the thanksgiving weekend, on the lines of ‘the biggest loser wins’. The person who will lose the most number of pounds, will win something, I have no idea what. I did not even get into it. My weight is going a little bonkers. I was 103 pounds when I was in engg college. Then I shot up to 125 lb in 2011. I looked so chubby and not nice at all! It was not the evenly chubby and cutely chubby thing. It was, like pockets of fat showing, grossly chubby. After that I got back into working out hard and started controlling my diet and the rubbish I put into my mouth, and now I am at 114-115 lb. I was on 110 lb a couple of months back. The person who checks our weights and body fat % from the gym, says that I am gaining because it is the muscle that I am building. As long as I lose the fat, I am ok with losing or gaining!

I blame my screwed up metabolism in my 1st year in USA. It is so damn hard to eat healthy and right in the States! More so, if you are a vegetarian. I would skip meals daily and have a frozen pizza or something. My body probably thought I am a polar bear and went into hibernation mode and started storing all the fat. I am reaping the ‘sweet’ fruits of my stupidity now. That reminds me I need to stock up my fridge with fruits.

All you people who work out daily and are flaunting flat stomachs, I hate you, but hats off! It is so hard to maintain that routine. And it hurts! I try and do 10-15 min of cardio followed by strength exercises for biceps+back/triceps+chest/legs+butt+shoulders and some abdomens daily. The worst of the lot are leg exercises. Squats, namely. It is so easy to get carried away and do tons, but give it 1.5 days, and just getting up and doing any sort of leg movement becomes a pain in the butt, well, literally.

So far, I am not sure how much working out has shown its results on me. The tummy bump still exists. My triceps/fat pouches still jiggle when I wave my arm. I still cannot carry off empire lines. Hmpphhh :-/

But, it is not as bad as before. I am not looking as lumpy as I did 2 years back. It has definitely improved my stamina. I can walk almost the entire day. I can run longer than I could before. Hopefully I will run a 5K soon. Working towards that.

I am determined to get in shape and to get fit. Slowly, but steadily, I hope to reach that point where I feel good about my fitness level and body.

This is a weird post, but it is only to remind and motivate myself that I have a long way to go to be fit, and that I should continue working on it. Lets see how I fare after a month.


For a dear friend….

One of my close friends from my engg days is getting married soon. I wrote this for her. It is kind of sappy and cheesy, on the lines of ‘Banno ro banno meri, chali sasural ko……’ Aaaah, well…..

I remember the first day in 2005,
When I** walked into the dorm,
From the crazy gal to a to-be-newly-wed
We have seen you beautifully transform.

The hippie kurtas and baggy jeans,
With a curly crop on your head,
To silk and chiffon drapes,
And the brushed, smoothed hair instead.

As you start a new life ahead,
So many good wishes for the mad bride.
Hoping you both settle in domestic bliss,
With lots of love, care, and for each other, pride.

With nothing else to give,
But tons of hugs and kisses,
Wishing you loads of luck,
As you turn into a Mrs.


The royal mess

Today morning, I heard an interesting discussion on the radio. It was about lovers and soul-mates. Whether they are different or the same thing. It made me wonder. I think you can fall in love, fall out of it, and fall again. But probably(?) soul-mate is one. A soul-mate is a person who just understands you without a spoken word. You can smile, laugh, joke, argue, fight with that person without risking that bond. I suppose a lover and soul-mate could be the same person. If someone finds that kind of a love, damn, he/she is the luckiest ever.

And then something worse happened. Since last couple of weeks, specialy in Vegas, I realized that the person who shared my likes and dislikes, peppered with enough disagreements as well, wasn’t with me. The person who was yang to my yin, isn’t in my life anymore. This all is making me really afraid. What if have lost my soul-mate? Maybe I can live without the romantic gestures. But I am not sure if I can live without even a tiny presence of my ‘person’ with me. This all is just making me extremely nervous. Maybe it is the new phase I have entered after he moved back to India, maybe it is the loneliness. I have no clue. Whatever it is, I hope it sorts itself out soon.

Right now, I am straining my myopic eyes, searching for that light at the end of this tunnel. This darkness scares me.