The royal mess

Today morning, I heard an interesting discussion on the radio. It was about lovers and soul-mates. Whether they are different or the same thing. It made me wonder. I think you can fall in love, fall out of it, and fall again. But probably(?) soul-mate is one. A soul-mate is a person who just understands you without a spoken word. You can smile, laugh, joke, argue, fight with that person without risking that bond. I suppose a lover and soul-mate could be the same person. If someone finds that kind of a love, damn, he/she is the luckiest ever.

And then something worse happened. Since last couple of weeks, specialy in Vegas, I realized that the person who shared my likes and dislikes, peppered with enough disagreements as well, wasn’t with me. The person who was yang to my yin, isn’t in my life anymore. This all is making me really afraid. What if have lost my soul-mate? Maybe I can live without the romantic gestures. But I am not sure if I can live without even a tiny presence of my ‘person’ with me. This all is just making me extremely nervous. Maybe it is the new phase I have entered after he moved back to India, maybe it is the loneliness. I have no clue. Whatever it is, I hope it sorts itself out soon.

Right now, I am straining my myopic eyes, searching for that light at the end of this tunnel. This darkness scares me.

6 thoughts on “The royal mess

  1. First time here. I have experienced that darkness and loneliness. All I can say to you now is , this too shall pass and there is better things waiting for you in the future. Difficult to imagine that right now. But few years from now when you look back you will know it. Hugs Babe!!

    I reason I landed up in your blog is from your profile pic from Bryce Canyon.


    • Aaah, thank you for the positive words! I am hoping that everything will be okay. After all hope makes the world go ’round.
      Yes, it indeed is Bryce Canyon! I believe you have been there? I loved it! But my favorite was Antelope Canyon.


        • I agree! They have a very calming and serene quality about them. Centuries of native wisdom and spirituality seems to be in the air there. We went to a small place called Walnut canyon on our way back from Zion. It was an amazing hiking trail with caves and houses of the tribes along the cliffs still intact.


  2. ahh..the heart break….will you be tiffed if I say”This too shall pass” or some schmalzy cliche? It does get better. I came here as a single woman to do engg..myself and that was 17 years ago…(I was only 10 :P) …..I was single for years and loved it…travelled..said goodbyes to people I thought would there forever….
    Now I am married and have the madatory 2 kids…and sometimes I look back at what may have been, what could have been….but then I look at my present and I wouldnt change it all…except maybe bringing my mom back to life. Life;s choices we make ourselves and sometimes I think they have already been made for us…
    All I know…it gets better..


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