Guest Post : By the Father

I have something very special to present here. My father saw the movie Queen two days back and told me about it. He was telling me what he felt about the movie and I told him to jot it down. He very kindly agreed to write down a guest post about it for my blog. I have told him that I shall convey to him all the comments and critiquing he receives. 


Yesterday I watched a movie titled “Queen”. It was a very pleasant experience.

It set my thinking rolling at a furious pace. I was thrilled to see the metamorphosis of a young girl from a timid, obedient daughter (meek submission personified) into a grown up liberated, confident woman and behold! With the help of totally unknown roommates.

I now fully agree with Chetan Bhagat when he wrote about this movie that every single girl or woman has a “queen” hidden inside and they must discover it and liberate themselves.

My mind started thinking about marriages in my community and in relatives. In most of the cases if not in all, the parents marry off their daughter without any specific reason. I am sure they do not have any clear reasoning in their mind except perhaps the age old traditions. If you ask them they will come out with one of those points like she is now grown up, all her friends have got married, what will people say if we don’t marry her off now etc. etc. There is no thought about what the girl thinks or what is the thinking level their  future husband possesses.

The girls also being obedient daughters, as they are taught to be, go along with parents’ wish and get married. Again without any clear thoughts. They feel happy to fulfil their parents’ wish and land up in a state of long term slavery called married life. They analyse very superficially about the boy whether he is worthy of being called the life partner is true sense.

The boy has been given authority by our society to be a psycho supported by his parents. The modern looking boy and his progressing thinking parents suddenly take 90 degrees turn and become very conservative while selecting a girl for marriage.

Most of the new age boys start pointing out shortcomings of their wives and autocratically imposing their likes and dislikes on the hapless girl ruining the most sensitive and precious time in the life of young couple. The in laws of the girl put all the responsibility of our great culture and traditions on the newly arrived daughter in law. There are numerous cases around us of women giving up their earlier free life, their hobbies, their passions and leading a wretched, oppressed life. A mere mention of their earlier likes or hobbies by anybody makes them depressed.

I am not sure whether majority of the boys understand the meaning of equality, partnering for life, individual freedom or woman empowerment leave alone practicing these.

It’s time to think whether to subject our daughters to this kind of married life or to train them and allow them to think differently and independently. Why not to leave this all important decision of life to them? Why not to allow them tread their own path by brushing aside the ever lingering thought of “what will people say!”

As responsible, educated parents we owe this to our beloved daughters.


25 thoughts on “Guest Post : By the Father

  1. Your observations are very apt. In India, the entire onus of maintaining our culture, our traditions, our maan- maryada lies with the women, especially the daughter in law. Society is indeed very vicious and oppressive for a woman who dares to break the stereotype. The traditional expectations have not changed, just become more nuanced!


    • That is what he thinks too and calls rubbish on that. He says women or even sons are burdened with unreasonable expectations. Everyone should be practical and mould according to situations. When he puts his views across, he is termed very ‘american’. It is silly.


  2. Amazing PB! No, correction – amazing PB’s dad!! If only most parents thought this way…but i do believe things are changing for the better. Give the country another 3 decades and i think we will get there.


  3. Oh my God… This is such an amazing post.. i think when we maintain blogs and share our thoughts, our parents should be pushed to maintain blogs too and share their ideas. This will help out a lot..

    What your dad wrote here was so heart touching and such a spectacular insight into the minds of the society and people who marry off their daughters for no reason! 🙂

    Loved this post…it made my day! 🙂

    Ask the guest to frequent the blog.. we love him! 🙂


    • Thank you so much for the appreciation! I told him about all the comments and he is thrilled! He says he doesn’t want to start a blog right now. But whenever he wants to write, will send it to me. He cant read this space though because I havent told him my Address. Haha. If he frequents this space, I perhaps will not be able to open up as much. And he is fine with that. 😀


  4. Pingback: Stereotypical me… | A splash of my life.....

  5. Amazing Dad ! My dad is not so understanding and open-minded but have always treated his two daughters like sons…and we both sisters have always made him give up in front of us 😀


  6. This is beautiful PB. I landed here from IHM’s blog. Your dad is a wonderful example to so many parents out there. Loved his thoughts and your one lucky daughter to have him. CheerS!!!


  7. Your dad has it exactly the way i think. But along with what he says, I also feel that it should be a decision taken/accepted by the whole family. Parental guidance is necessary. Rarely a person becomes mentally so mature that he could independently decide his life partner in his/her 20’s. Its always good to take some advice from elders.


    • It is definitely good to take guidance from parents because love can make you blind. But parents should also learn to treat their offsprings as capable adults. A little trust in choices should exist both ways.


  8. Your dad has it perfect. Along with what he says, I also feel that it should be a decision taken/accepted by the whole family. Rarely a person becomes mentally so mature that he could independently decide his life partner in his/her 20’s. Its always good to take some advice from elders.
    Mentioned this because some youngsters may take it like-” Come what may, it’s only me who’s going to decide my life partner. I need no suggestions from my parents.”
    Cheers to your dad, for the way he thinks 🙂


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