♪♫ We are… never,ever,ever, ever… ♪♫

I have been writing a lot of whiny posts and deleting them. But I decided on publishing this as a reminder of my teenage and stupidity.

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I was listening to the Taylor Swift song ‘We are never, ever, ever, getting back together…’ on the radio yesterday evening. It is, as the name suggests, clearly about how she has broken up with her boyfriend and is never, ever, ever, getting back together. Just in case it was not clear. 😀

My thought jumped on to my boyfriend number 2. Oh dear God, this was a huge, giant, effing big case of What-was-I-smoking! He was a very sweet guy when he joined college. He had bought the management quota. He was sweet, wellspoken, and seemed to be a nice person, who had a crush on my close friend who was his classmate. Then 2-3 months into the first semester, I told him that I liked him. Mistake number 1. After a month, he told me he liked me and asked me out to be his girlfriend. I was ecstatic, and said yes. Mistake number 2.

He was friends with a group of Richie rich guys who always made him feel shitty for not being ‘cool’. He was also a very insecure person and extremely low on confidence. He was basically from Mathura, and these guys were from Mumbai, Delhi, etc. He started learning rock music and rap in his attempts to be mainstream. Shortly after we were together, he went to Mumbai with his friend Bhushan(I absolutely detest this guy!) and came back with spiked hair. Then began his obsession of blowing his family money on new jeans, only Levi’s or Diesel, new shirts, etc. That was his ‘makeover’. After the first year got over and the results came out, he did not clear the year, none of the guys from the entire group did. They all had year-downs.

Anyways, we continued our relationship after he left to stay in a small district near our college that had many private hostels and coaching classes. Well, there his downfall spiraled. Honestly, it was a disgusting place. The guy started drinking like a fish and started smoking, and not just cigarettes. Uggghhh. Finally, after a lot of unpleasant incidents and a couple of tries, I broke up with him, for good this time. That was the end of the mental stress I was going through. It felt so good. I was always ambitious. This guy did nothing but pull me back into a hole. There was no way I could put up with such a guy who disgusted me. I tried everything in my power for that one and a quarter year to make him see what he was getting into and to help him out. But there is only a point till when you can help someone.

After that breakup, he still used to call me, send me stuff, message me. Even now, he sends me friend requests through his many profiles on FB. I ignore. All of them. He wrote sh*t about me in the college confession pages, and on the other side sends me messages about how he misses me. He writes statuses on my birthday, some kind of stupid rap usually. He never finished Engineering. I heard that he tried to do a lot of things, but couldn’t. He is an alcoholic and an addict. He messaged me some months back that he still wants me and that I should wait for him, he will be a successful software engg and will come to California. I just laughed and laughed.

The point to be taken is, sometimes it feels very addictive to be with a poisonous person. It is extremely hard to pull away. I felt guilty for quite some time, about not being to help him. It seemed to my 18 year old mind that overhauling his life was my ‘duty’. Stupid hindi movies. But it is not! What a person chooses to do with his life is his own decision. At a sub-conscious level, everyone is aware of the good and the bad. The goods seem to be very boring and the bads are very tempting. But the pros and cons should make it clear at what price you will be embracing what. I don’t even think that life should be lived with only weighing the pros and cons, but if it has the power of altering your life course, it is the most important thing to do. He was toxic for me. He made me feel like I had lost all my confidence, my ambition and my ability. I started feeling worthless. I was losing my friends. Thankfully, I had realized that this poison had to be removed. I cut him off completely. I cut all his friends(who are as worthless as him) off from my life. If he would visit college for whatever reasons, I would walk straight past him. The feeling I had was wonderful. Like, I was actually in charge. Ignorance was bliss! After that point, began my upward spiral. My grades went up. I made my best friends. I started seeing another guy, after a while, which did not leave me with any heartbreak because I knew it was just a fling. 😉 The idiot thought he was the only one having fun. Haha!

And that is how, kids, you take your life back.

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25 thoughts on “♪♫ We are… never,ever,ever, ever… ♪♫

  1. Oh man! Can I just say your post makes me thinks my exes were absolute gems?Were not of course, had their own set of issues but this guy appears to take the cake. Still we were all 18 once and in louuuurve and wanted to be that girl, the one who stood by her man’s side and aided him in his reformation. Makes me feel relieved that somehow at around that age and the same silly mindset I lucked out by meeting the husbadoo. He could very well have been a jackass and I think I would have still been in louuuuurve. Just pure luck I ended up with my college boyfriend who was one of the good ones!

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  2. So true… Its always right to find a way out when you are getting nothing from a relationship… You did the right thing and that makes me wanna do the same.. I have had relationships but i have taken very long to break free and have found another one pretty soon… I wish i had flings too instead of real crap.. :/

    Loved this post for many reasons… 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dude!
    Hilariously sensible 🙂 Somebody said in some book ( don’t remember )- I don’t have to be a prisoner of my past.
    Same goes for you. I can understand guy’s side of trying to get back but I guess that was just a desperate attempt to feel better in the middle of all that mess he created. That happens, I know. But it certainly isn’t your responsibility – not even if you are married. A man has to be responsible for his actions, and his fuckups 😀

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    • It was not even attempt to solve his mess! He just wants a girl. Disgusting but true. You are right. Everyone is responsible for their own mess. I dont even say he got influenced because he himself wanted to do all so called fancy stuff. I just say good riddance to bad rubbish.

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      • Totally. I don’t subscribe to the concept of shared-living/existence. Yes, I love you- but sorry, I am not going to do your office assignments 😉 ( PS- I did that :\ But yeah well… learnt the lesson )

        Oh that is normal. Just wanting to be with…somebody/anybody. Most of the guys are like that. It is also about the age we are in.

        Deep sense of insecurity. Never the person I would suggest you to be with. Most of the people are like that though ( “True Story”- Barney style 🙂 ) We should be confident of those unimportant realities about ourselves. I mean what is wrong with listening to bhojpuri songs of Manoj Tiwari and not Aerosmith. But again, most of us succumb to this all… Poor kids 🙂

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        • True. Peer pressure can be harsh. But you gotta stand up for what makes you feel comfortable. Even I have tons of insecurities. But the moment they seem to empower me, I put my foot down.

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          • Insecurities are an asset. They are fine. But one must know which ones to let in and which one to keep out. Thats where personality plays a role. I mean you don’t have to have Diesel clothing line to look good- a cheap 50 bucks T-shirt from Palika is as good 🙂

            I don’t know and I hope you don’t take it the other way. Why are girls such a bad judge of guys? I confess, I was pretty much on their side as well. I am yet to see a couple who inspires me on any level. I mean where is the idealism and romanticism. Its all consumerist and showing-off and materialism. On second thoughts, its not about the girls really…

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  4. ek good boy jaata hain …dusra aa jaayega..tension na le 🙂 u have to admit its getting better right with each guy? lol…so u hv something good to look forward to… 🙂

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  5. Ani has an excellent point! I can only imagine what a blend of good boy+previous bad boy would result in. Keep your eyes wide wide open. You might bump into this Naya and Behtar Boy very soon 😉

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  6. You know, this post made me want to write about my relationship with the ex. And how things were with us too. Perhaps someday I will.

    As far as you go, you already seem to know who to not settle for in life. 🙂

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    • Write it, for posterity’s sake.
      I am a confused person, but I know one thing that the person should be able to take his decisions without getting affected by any emotional drama, by me or the families.

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