This is sort of a post, you might not be okay with, I don’t know! I mean, it is totally normal, but ‘reader’s discretion is advised’. I giggled while writing that. Coming from a girl who snorts every time she sees Dick’s sporting goods.
I have not received the talk from my parents. Although I remember, after I got my first cycle, my mom told my dad that ‘PB badhi ho gayi’( PB has matured). The statement was cringe-worthy and I started crying! My dad was visiting from Pune where he had just moved for a new job, and we were supposed to move after my school ended the session.
I have figured everything out mostly on my own. Since I got my cycles only in 8th grade, I had been through a great number of ‘Growing up’ sessions in school. Our class teacher in 7th was also our Moral Science teacher and we went through a chapter about love and making babies. In 8th, 9th and 10th and in great detail in 12th, my teachers did not ignore the topic, but took it well and explained everything out to us. My school in 7th and 8th was a girl’s school and my teacher encouraged us to ask us questions. At first we were hesitant, and then slowly hands started raising up. She spoke to us so well and debunked all the childish myths we had. She dealt with it so well, considering the delicate threshold of teenage that we were on. The best session we had was in 12th. It was the junior college with both guys and girls and we were on the chapter of reproduction for Bio II. Since it was advanced Biology, we were learning the micro details including cells, tissues and hormonal reactions. I will never forget how our zoology teacher took the session. I will take a leaf or two out of her book whenever I have kids. The confidence she showed about considering us as young adults who might be on the paths towards an active intimate life, was astounding. She was simply amazing! That was pretty much the age when people start dating. She took complete consideration of the fact that some young minds were not into it, while some must have started thinking about it. I think she changed my idea about seeing s*x as something ‘ewwwww’ or ‘against the culture’ to something that is completely one’s own discretion to be respected. Because of her, I neither consider virginity as a virtue, nor see s*x as something that everyone MUST have as soon as they hit adulthood. It is totally up to the individual. They want to abstain till marriage, fine, they want to get physically intimate, that is fine too. It should be about comfort. It is what it is.
On the other side, after my 12th, I realized how important biology lessons are! Some of my friends have no idea about their own bodies! It shouldn’t be an embarrassment to learn about your own anatomies. It is your own body after all, and it should be taken care of, loved and cherished.
My parents and I have had a somewhat healthy relationship. I have not actively told them about my boyfriends except the xBF, but they seemed to always know. About the BF number 2, they saw some of my texts and sat me down to talk about it. I lied through my teeth. But my parents never told me to break it off or anything, but they just told me how they felt he isn’t the person I deserve. My dad believes in letting me fall so that next time I step more carefully. He wants me to have my own experiences. Although he does look out for me to cushion my falls as much as he can.
There have been so many times my father has bought sanitary napkins for me and my mom. I used to cringe earlier when my mom would tell my dad to go and buy the packs for us. She told me that it is as normal as bathing, wearing a bra, or going to the loo. Yet, when I am home and give a list of stuff to my father to get from the pharmacy, I always tell him to not look at it and give it in the chemist’s hand, directly! And he ALWAYS opens it promptly and proceeds to read it aloud in front of me to embarrass me further. Uggghh!
But now, although I don’t normally openly announce if I am down, but can I tell my friends why I cant go to the gym or why I am looking very sickly. There is no point and no reason to hide it.
I can get away with saying ridiculous things to my mom. We openly discuss dogs’ s*x lives. She describes to me in great detail about how the new female forced Chintu(our semi-adopted 13 year old doggie) to get up from his slumber, and how he tried for a min with a limping leg, gave up and plopped back on the ground and went on to snooze while the female tried to wake him up again. She had once told me how my dog Moony was helped by my dad to reach the height of a taller female. All dad’s tries were in vain though and my dog seems to be perfectly happy with his third base and refuses to go for a home run.
I can still have normal conversation with my mom. But I know for a fact that when the time comes to tell her that I am preggers, it is going to be the most embarrassing moment of my life, next to when I will be seeing her for the first time after getting married. That will be the real deal.
PS : My parents CAN be totally WEIRD. There is a newspaper we used to get for free with our TOI. Pune Mirror. It has a column called ‘Ask the S*xpert’. The questions asked in it are absolutely hilarious and beyoooonnnddd stupid! After a few days, I noticed that the page was starting to be cut out. Like, legit, cut out. Only the section containing that column!?! My parents thought I wouldn’t notice? Haaaah!
PPS : My first google chat ever to the xBF, then just a friend who I had met a few times at Abhi’s place, involved a case of confused identity and I had accidentally revealed to him that I was down. 😀