17

How do you know…

…If the fuschia from the cotton top will not bleed while washing?

…If California wont shake n quake while I am in the bathroom?

…If the new face cream wont break me out like a 100 other promising ones?

…If the weather wont be windy when I wear my shorts?

…If everything will be okay with my heart?

…If the wellness lunch supplied won’t have that boring, bitter lettuce?

…If he thinks about me as much as I do about him?

…If the amount of sabudana soaked is enough for my dinner?

…If that cute dress will get marked down for sale?

…If my distance will still keep me alive in the hearts of my friends?

10

Black

Black is the cloud,
Black is the night,
Black is the darkness,
That envelopes with a might.

Black are the eyes,
Black is your soul,
Black is the heart,
Menacing in every role.

Black is your dress,
Black is the shoe,
Black is the lace,
That with lust peeks through.

Black is your move,
Black is your touch,
Your black selfishness,
With no efforts much.

Black is my death,
In your dark, dark meadow.
No wonder they call you
The devilish Black Widow.

*——————————-*

PS: Dark female characters in movies and books are so much better than miss goody two shoes girls.

9

Simplicity of being a mommy

I sent ‘The Window Seat’ blog post to my mom for her to read. And she sent me this reply. It is very simple and beautiful for me and it shows that generations may change, but a mother remains a mother. Not a goddess, but just a mom.

*————————————-*

“I read your blog. It is so emotional, I had tears. The answer of all this is in the word; “MOTHER”.

Motherhood changes a woman completely. You will understand the same when you will be at that stage.

You remember the sweets I bought from my office, though you know how much I like sweets and at that age I didn’t have any cholesterol problem , but at that time I only had one thought of bringing sweets home for you.

Now after reading your article I am thinking about my mother “Aai”. I never saw her eating afternoon snacks. I even ate her “methi ladoos”. She quite often made sweets and snacks for us but I never saw her eating those.

I miss you the most whenever I am in the market. I like to purchase dresses for you, shopping for You (though now our choice differs).

Hope we will be very soon shopping together.

Love,

Mummy”

18

Cute or what!

I skipped work on Monday after a crazy Saturday night dancing session.
As I have mentioned earlier, my boss is a White guy in his mid 70s.
So on Tuesday, this is what happened.

Boss : Are you okay?? ARE YOU OKAY??

Me : Yessir, all fine now.

Boss : *Shaking head* You don’t listen to me. I am worried about your diet. When did you have your last annual checkup?

Me : Errrr…..

Boss : So, if something happens to you, then we look for one doctor, young lady?

Me : I will get one! TODAY! (Task still pending)

Boss : You are alone here, please do something about your diet. Please eat fish atleast. Have fish n chips, or chicken, something! *Proceeds to explain about different fishes in the market*

Me : *Grinning and shaking my head*

Boss : So, okay, what really happened?

Me : *Sheepish* My back and legs hurt……. Cuz of dancing for 3 hours at a friend’s Bollywood party.

*Crickets*

Boss : Errrr, okay… You know, mom and dad aren’t here, we have to take care of you…….

Awwwwwwww……..

17

The window seat

I still remember how stubborn I was when we used to travel in trains or buses. I HAD to take the window seat. Thankfully I had no siblings to fight with in order to catch my favorite seat of the ride. When the school would take us for picnics, I used to feel really upset if I did not get the window seat. I would show like it is not a big deal, but inside I used to be writhing in anger. Sometimes I would strike a deal with my friend for sitting on the prime spot for half of the journey. Heck, I have even lied that I might throw up or I have claustrophobia or something.

My first flight was with my parents. It was a first for my mom too. My dad has traveled by air quite regularly for his work as a Marketing and Sales guy. Those were the days when your plane ticket was worth a small fortune and they gave tickets in the form of a little booklet. Jet Airways was known to be the best with a little yellow rose pinned to the staff’s clothes. They would also hand out goodies and toys to kids in every flight. In the plane too, I took my window seat happily with my mom in the middle seat and my dad in the aisle.

Now I look back and wonder, did my mom want the window seat? Did she love it as a child too? Did she feel a tinge of sadness not getting to sit in the window seat everytime we traveled in trains or buses? Did she feel bad when I would throw a tantrum and always take my favorite seat if we traveled in anybody’s car with her sandwiched in the middle?
We got our own car only in my 7th grade.

I wonder if my mom loved it in her childhood as much as I did.

And so many other things. Did my mom hate sharing her chocolates? I know she is crazy about them. Yet when she would buy that Dairy Milk to give me after coming back from work, she would take one tiny square for herself. Sometimes I used to find small bars of dairy milk while fishing in her purse. She would say it was a surprise and give it to me. I wonder if she bought it for herself but ended up giving it to me?

When we got our dog in my 8th grade, I knew he was the love of my life. Yet, after a month, jealousy crept in. I was the only child for a very long time and suddenly there was this another thing vying for attention and affection. It was surprising, but I got very jealous of my puppy. It lasted for a week or so but nevertheless, it happened. I had started regretting bringing him into the house. But then one evening, I cried it out. My dad, who was having troubles at his job of 20 years with a new boss humiliating him for no reason, also let his tears flow, apologizing to me if he was ignoring me due to job stress. There was absolutely nothing like that. We went to the temple together, and the next day, dad quit.

I wonder if my mom ever feels bad that she had to practically give up her favorite things for me. The big chunk of chocolate, the window seat, the bigger share of Dahi Wadas, having half a bhel and letting me have one and half. So many things. I wish I had understood. I wish I knew then that my mommy has such a big heart.

I cant wait to fly her out to live with me. She is getting that long awaited window seat this time.

18

Sketching characters

I was talking to Moo the other day about Mumbai and I told her how I feel some cities have such a character built into them and it is very easy to think of it in a particular way. Both of us have lived or are living in a place which is like a mixed pot and doesn’t have that ‘backstory’. The very next day, my conversation with Tatsat lead us to the same route. He said that even if places are different, people are the same. Well, I am still drawing up my conclusions about that. I have had very bitter experiences with people from a certain region at different points in my life. I cant help but judge, but still I would rather not. I am still learning. I have had sets of similar experiences from people where they belong to a particular city/state. But I am not sure if i want to generalize. Just for the heck of it, I thought if my favorite cities were people of my age-group, how would they be….

Pune : Full of youth and gossip, who dresses up in jeans/shorts and a cute top daily, club wear on weekends, and in beautiful suits and sarees complete with bangles and bindi on every festival. Knows how to balance late night movies with classes early morning. Goes with parents for Ganpati darshan and enjoys walking on the streets of Camp with a litchi juice from Marzorin. Is a pro at balancing the old with the new.

New Delhi : Walks around in an artfully ripped jeans and kurta and goes for cold beer-clubbing and lassi-tikka nights with equal gusto. Enjoys jogs early in the morning at India Gate and goes shopping at the high-end retail store as well as cheaps out for the trendiest stuff at Sarojini nagar. Can quote Marx and Premchand at the drop of a hat. CP and Def Col have a special place in their hearts. Goes to weddings in bling that can put Jay-Z to shame.

Mumbai : Has learnt to jump from the running local train in high heels, laughing along with the gajra clad bank-aunty who gets in daily at the borivali station. Loves having corn at Marine Drive and enjoys wine tasting festivals. Plans for Goa/Lonavala/Matheran trips every month with friends. Binge-watches Game of Thrones and has mastered the art of ignoring daddy when he goes ‘aa su che/ he kay aata naveen/ kya hai yeh/ what is that!’

San Diego : Switches up between dreadlocks and free flowing curls every now and then, irrespective of gender. Shorts with flip flops is a staple costume, be it at school or working at Qualcomm. An 18 deg C temperature needs a hoodie and a 21 deg C temperature require shedding of clothes. Usually has a wide selection of barbecue material and sunscreens. Home will usually have a bong, surfboard, classical rock record collection. Avocados are treated as lovers.

New York City : Has mastered the art of calling a taxi, while balancing an ipad, a newspaper, a bagel and a Dunkin’ Donut/Starbucks coffee cup. Teeters around in sharp suits and Jimmy Choos on weekdays and takes lunch breaks in the Central Park. Enjoys mimosas and brunches on weekends. Knows subway routes like the back of their hand, just like the distant cousin Mumbai. Enjoys art and movies and some old school hip hop dancing.

London : Can sport a blue punk rock bob and ironed straight hair with equal ease. May be seen in a leather jacket or a very classy trench coat. Enjoys reading during the tube rides and likes her tea with a hint of lemon and a dash of sugar. Has her fix of Kababs and Saag-Paneer once a week courtesy her South – Asian friends. Scoffs at ‘American slang’ on the other side of the pond. Was glued to the tv when the royal wedding was on live.

14

Thoughts

Lately, I have been binge-watching One Tree Hill on Netflix. There is this Ross and Rachel like couple on it Lucas and Peyton. He is engaged to another girl.

In one of the episodes I saw yesterday, Peyton’s best friend asks her if she is in love with Lucas or with the thought of being in love with him. She admits that it is both actually.

She is in love with him knowing that it cannot happen. And she is in love with the thought of being in love with him, because it is so comfortable to be in that situation. The very idea of being in love with a person who is perfect for you is extremely appealing and can be like that warm, soft blanket you cannot let go off even if the temperatures are rising. Sometimes it is easier to be in that dream world than to face the reality. It is easier to float along than to open your heart and risk losing it again.

These are such blurred lines.