19

Umm, what?!?

I was getting inside an elevator in the parking lot to go and meet some friends for a mad ad rehearsal for some event and suddenly my phone rang.

‘xBF calling…..’

From India?? I picked up his call and the damn call cut off. I got out of the elevator staring at the beautiful building ahead with very Parisian style balconies full of lush summer flowers. The parking lot was water logged for some reason.

I called back and he picked it up.

‘Hi…’, ‘Hey there….’

‘I am coming for a training to Lake Forest through the company… I will be put up in that hotel 4-5 miles from your place….. Not sure for how long….’

At that heart stopping moment and when I was falling into a giant whirl of emotions, I woke up…..

Damn my dreams…

22

Of angels with spiked tails

I get the best thoughts when I am about to fall asleep, on the pot, or brushing my teeth. Well the percentage of good thoughts while brushing my teeth is a little lower than the other two because I am usually almost touching my nose to the mirror to observe my new pimples popping up. But sometimes some thoughts do takeover and I totally forget to brush one quadrant.

So, while brushing my teeth today, in case you totally did not get the point of my previous sentences, I saw Moo’s texts about a kid at the bus stop who was asking her certain things. I hit a thought. It was about kids and their seemingly innocent aura. I just laughed to myself and pushed the thought aside. Then, at work, I opened the Red Handed Blog and saw her post on kids and their innocence ! I was like, OMG OMG! I have been thinking the same exact thing! So Red Handed, I am not trying to steal your post, I promise, but just building on it and agreeing with you while vigorously nodding my head. Same goes for you, Moo, and if you would be kind enough to note down that experience(I do think the mom should have said something), it will be awesome.

So, for the record, people consider that children are innocent angels and can do absolutely no wrong. They represent innocence and purity. In the painting of the world, if adults are all black and gray, children are that pristine, virginal coat of white. These people are so mistaken. I was not innocent for the record. All my antics are firmly etched in my memories, partly because I always knew what I was doing and partly because relatives or family friends love telling how I made their life utterly difficult in gatherings and functions. I also remember most of the kids from my childhood who left me, sort of, scarred , by a number of methods. Plus, my niece is 6 years old, and though I love her, sometimes I just want to send her to her room and make her stand facing a wall. These are the best punishments I could think of to remain within legalities.

When I was a kid, I was attracted to shiny new things. They might or might not have belonged to me. Every time I would go to my three Mausi(Aunts)’s place in Jaipur or in Ratlam or to my grandparents’, at the end of the trip, my mom and they would search my bag. They would find at least 6-7 items that belonged to them and had gotten lost during my stay there. The items were miscellaneous. Hand held mirrors, combs, one earring, coin purses, even a single chess piece. They knew that I had magpie like tendencies even back then. Now my inner magpie just hoards her own stuff. Ticket stubs, chocolate wrapper, a stone picked up from some beach, stickers that Moo gave me while leaving India, gift wrapper from the scrap book made by Ani and co. and so on.

I was a master at lying. Somehow, lying came very easily to me rather than the truth. Even if it was totally not needed, I would just tell weird stories to my teacher, or my relatives. When I was 4, I went to all my neighbors and invited them for my birthday celebrations in the evening. They all came with gifts. My very bewildered mom told them that my birthday was in September, a good 4 months away. Well, I just wanted some gifts! I got grounded instead. I have lied about sickness to get away from going to school or from studying. It used to work exceptionally well at school specially during the subjects periods that I hated. And during PT, when I would lie about having breathing issues. I hated PT. Yeah, so I was a scheming kid if you can call that and I was perfectly aware of what I was doing. Also, I remember that I used to pray to God to never give me a sibling otherwise I would have lost my ‘favorite kid’ status. I also remember instigating some friends that their parents loved their younger sibling more. I was 5. Innocence be damned.

When I see my niece, I see a sweet innocent child only when she is asleep. When she wakes up, I see a Miranda Priestly(The Devil Wears Prada) or a Naomi Campbell type of diva in her. When she was a year and half or two, she would ask for something at home or in a store by pointing. If ignored, she would make her eyes really wide and make a grrrrr sound. If ignored or told that she couldn’t have it, she would clench her fists and jaws, and would make her body tremble in a very scary way. Like, shaking in anger. It was very freaky to watch that! She knew how to use her crying, or yelling, to get what she wanted. My cousin brother had this ‘no one should scold her and use only love’ approach to her. He was forced to swallow that back and had to begin grounding her, but alas, the damage was done. When they moved to Chicago, the same continued. I have witnessed her full blown temper tantrums where she would scream and cry and then cough really bad and that is enough for my cousin and his wife to totally melt down and grant her wishes. I used to think that such tantrums happen when you get older and you know how to use it. But I did not realize that kids know it too. Of course it is another story when a child is sleepy, or hungry or tired. Then, crying is a natural mechanism to deal with it. There is a difference when a kid is being a kid and when the kid knows how to use it to their advantage.

On a more serious note, comes bullying. Kids can be extremely cruel. I got my glasses when I was in the 1st grade and I became the butt of jokes and pranks. I have done a very detailed post on my experiences as a part of a healing process. I don’t want to repeat all that. But to summarize, kids as young as 3 years are known to ostracize certain kids. They are known to call other kids dark/fat/ugly/poor, etc. A lot of children with disabilities have it rough at school. My mom is a tuition teacher and she sees her 4-5 year old students be very cruel. Specially the prettier girls are extremely mean to others. It starts from childhood it seems. :-/

I read a very interesting article today that shows how recess can be extremely cruel for immigrant kids. The article mentions how 1st and 2nd grade peers can be li’l devils in disguise and how intervention of an adult/teacher can put a positive spin on this whole situation. Do give this eatocracy article a read.

Here, I realize the importance of mature parenting. It is very important for parents to go beyond mollycoddling and believing that they are just kids and it is a part of their cuteness or innocence. They have to try and catch these traits young in order to help the child suppress such behavior and to help them distinguish between right or wrong. They are never ’too young for all that’. Some of the blogs I read, are of some parents who are being totally normal, but still exceptional. I am not going to preach about how parents should do it, because I have no experience in that matter, except from observation.

So all in all, hey, you who thinks children are sweet angels and a gift from the heaven? Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

39

Problems

My papa, the strong active man I always see, is in the recovery room of a hospital. He just got out of surgery.

He had a fall at home and ended up with a fractured hip that has been put together with a few screws. The doctor says his prognosis looks good and recovery should be quick and alright. He will be walking with a walker and then a cane for a couple of months before he can walk normally on his own.

It throws a lot of questions and emotions right on my face again and there will be no end to it.

Anyways, I hope he heals really soon and is back on his feet again.

26

Glutton’s my middle name

I did a very strange thing on Saturday.
I made some egg curry for my dinner and thought of having it with some buttered brown bread instead of roti. So, I gathered my bread slices and the butter and started heating my pan. As I was about to dribble butter on the pan, I noticed a funny smell coming from the butter. I remember once I had melted it completely but stuck it back into the fridge, because we used to do that all the time with Amul butter and nothing happened to it ever. So I assumed this butter would be okay too. But the smell seemed really off. And then I noticed teeny tiny two spots on the top part of the tub. I stared at it for a bit hoping to figure out what they were. They could have been bread crumbs since I don’t really clean my knife between spreadings. Really, who does? So, I just scraped the dots off the tub and proceeded to spread butter on the hot pan. Even then, I felt like it smelt different, but I just couldn’t figure out if my butter had really gone bad or not. So, what does PB do? She continues to toast her bread like nothing is wrong! Haha! Seriously. I just somehow thought that we’ll see whatever happens. And I am just going to eat my dinner as planned. It tasted a li’l bit different, but by then I was so confused if it was all in my head or if it really was spoilt.

I finished my dinner, and waited for quite a bit for my tummy to hurt or something. Nothing happened. I woke up the next morning anticipating an upset stomach, but nothing! 😀 So now, I really don’t know if something was wrong with the butter or my head was playing tricks on me.

I do have this terrible habit of not caring for expiry dates. I just go with the assumption that best before date mans that the product will last for a few months after but just won’t taste as awesome as ‘best before’ date. 😛 Go figure.

This reminds me of an incident in college. Bff, the great, Ani, had gotten a jar of Haldiram’s rasgullas from home for all of us. We totally forgot about it during the week and I remembered about it on a Friday, a day before going home. I can still recall that I was sitting on a study table and Ani told me to open the jar and have some. I went ahead and I started eating them. Rasgullas are my absolute favorite, and I just cannot resist them. While I was on my 2nd one, I started to read the jar. And then, I noticed that the jar said that they had a best before date of about a month ago! I yelled out across the room to Ani that the rasgullas had expired. She was shocked and told me to throw it promptly. I stared at the jar for a bit, with my mouth full of the succulent sweetmeat, gulped it down, and proceeded to take another one! She saw me put another in my mouth, came running, snatched the jar from my hands and trashed it away. Oh my goodness, I felt so so so bad for the wasted rasgullas! My dear rasgullas. They were calling out to me, ‘we are not so bad, come eat us.’

Sigghhh. I can’t help being greedy. I think out of the seven sins, the one I am most guilt of is gluttony. Or lust. Or… No, it is gluttony, I think. I overeat everytime I eat out to the point of being unable to move. Buffet’s are my poison. I am like, ‘OMG! So much food’. I am known as the chocolate monster in the company. They say I have a chocolate radar. I can’t stop with one piece of cake or chocolate. I lurk around for a second helping. The xBF is also a major chocolates and cake eater. At his office, they did a monthly birthday celebration. He would wait and wait for the clock to strike 2, so they could gather for the cake cutting. He would stand closest to the cake cutter and would gladly take a big helping. Then he would eat there, talking to people with one eye on the remaining cake, and take another piece. Then he would go back after an hour to see if anything was remaining and he would take a third helping. Sometimes his co-workers would tell him that everyone is done and the cake is his. Haha. Whenever we have food at work like donuts, cakes or cookies, I do the same. *hangs head in shame*