How many of you have spent a good amount of time stalking someone on Facebook and jumping through their friend’s sister’s cousin’s dog’s neighbor’s profile? *Raising my hand ashamed*

I wrote the following frivolous poem dedicated to the xBF’s social media profiles. This is a joke. Or maybe not. Haha, got you. It is a joke. I promise!

What I have written here, is more like lyrics. While writing this, I was sort of singing/rapping it to myself. But since I am not really a songwriter or a musician, I cant explain it well. Just read it out in Iggy Azalea’s style.


I am gonna check,
Who you become friends with.
Is it something real?
Or in my head, a myth.

I am going to ask around,
What you are upto.
I will hover around you invisibly,
Find out who you speak to.

Friending you on Facebook,
Who’s that new girl?
Liking your picture,
Who’s that new girl?

‘Unfollow’ me on Instagram,
Don’t talk anymore to me,
Don’t ping when I’m online,
But that wont stop me.

I will still see your pictures,
Follow every comment,
Stalk your every move,
With nothing to repent.

Writing that comment,
Who’s that new girl?
Wishing you on your birthday,
Who’s that new girl?

Being your stalkerazzi,
Makes me look so small.
But I would rather do this,
Than not know you at all!

Stop cribbing about it,
Just deal with this crazy.
I will tell you how to,
Trust me, its easy.

Don’t say anything,
To that new girl,
We don’t quite like her,
Oh that new girl.

18 thoughts on “Stalkerazzi

  1. I made my own tune for it as I read you, can’t explqin what it is..some rap like thingee..
    Awesome!! Love it. Hey you atleast only stalk exes..I stalk random friend of friends…some of them girls..actually more girls than boys…just random stuff like who their married finally, where they vacationed , what they wore..blah blah..way more interesting than hot guys!Then me and a common friend who also stalks have a whatsapp conversation…sometimes it gets gossipy bitchy and we joke that we need to call ourselves ‘ Closet Mean Girls’


  2. I’m telling you we’re all world class stalkers. I do it all the time. Mint helps me when I get stuck and want to find out information about somebody and am unable to do so. His skills are exceptional.. Lol!


  3. That was hilarious! And I did read it like a rap 😛 Loved the repeat rhythm of “Who’s that new girl?” 😀 Stalkerazzi is a cool word you coined there, yo!


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