Desperate times, desperate measures

I was dreading this very moment ever since I booked my plane ticket to India. I was thinking of what to say, how to say, and most importantly how to avoid it. But I couldn’t come up with any sort of concrete plan. I decided to wing it. Ladies and Gentleman, if you haven’t guessed it and you are in the age group of 24-beyond, shame on you! It was the shaadi topic. The big question on why and how will I get married.

I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but around January-February, my parents broached this topic on Skype and I ended up crying and everything. They wanted to put my name down in Anuroop which is a Maharashtrian wedding portal operating out of Pune. It has online services as well and a separate section for NRIs. Anyways, they gave me time till November because then it would have been a year since the xBF left and they assumed a year would be enough to get me out of the mess. Huh, rookie mistake.

So when I reached India, I was coming up with the most creative ways to escape the topic. I did the most ridiculous things ever. My parents have a habit of taking afternoon naps after lunch. After eating, they go into their bedroom and usually chat till they fall asleep. I would escape into the living room to watch TV. Sometimes my mom would call me to the room, but I would just say no! At times she told me to turn the TV off/Come out of the room/etc but I would simply say no. She would laugh at me because she knew what was going on. When I met the school friend at Vaishali we spoke about how parents are getting harder to handle about this whole marriage business. Visiting family friends and relatives are down to grab throats and thrust us into the wedding fire for no rhyme or reason! I asked a couple, if meri khushi bardasht nahi hoti kya? (Do they not want me to be happy). But sigh, all my rants and no’s were being generously ignored. When I told Hrushi(the school friend) how my parents are talking about Anuroop, he was like, “Oh! I am on it! Look me up.” 😀 By the way, my mom asked pretty much for a bio data on him when I mentioned I was meeting such a guy. She is literally walking around with a Sehera in her hands like the tv ad for a marriage website.

On our way back from Mumbai after the visa stamping, my dad asked me if I met the xBF. I told him I spent the 2 days right in front of his eyes except the time I went inside the consulate. How could I have met him? He kept digging further and I told him that I was not in contact with him. He kept probing and I kept up my yes/no non-committal answers. I think I wore him out(successfully) and he said what is he supposed to say when mom raises this topic! I told him to slink away to another room just like me. 😀

One of the days, my mom and I went to a jewelry store to buy me solitaire earrings. I was looking at the rings kept there and told her I will get only a solitaire for my engagement ring. She exclaimed so loudly that I think only the Panipuri wala at the end of the street did not hear her. “Thank God, you at least have plans of getting married!!!”

But the dreaded moment arrived soon after. My mom caught me sitting down leisurely on the couch and my parents decided it was time to put me on the stands. They asked when, why, and why not. They asked me some uncomfortable questions, if I was still hoping for something and if we should call Scube up. I just lied and said no. I was done. But I told them whenever I am ready, I will tell them. I also told them that I need time to find my own boy. I pretty much announced that I was going to date around! My mom got a li’l bit flustered but told me as long as my intentions were ok and I was not going to embarrass them, it was fine. Now, I have to say that their response surprised me quite a bit and sort of was a googly. :-/ The only conditions were that the boy should be Hindu. Fair enough.

I added, that if I cannot find someone, I will honorably ask for their help. They asked if they could still put my name down in Anuroop to at least look at proposals. Now, the whole reason I told them about finding-my-own-boy was to buy time. So I kind of got stuck there. I told them to give me some time. My dad asked how much. Now I don’t know what I was thinking, and if it were my engineering brains, but I told them 314 days. There! I managed to stun them into submission. But surprise, surprise they agreed again and as a compromise, they agreed to start 314 days from 1st Jan 2015. So, 15th Nov is the due date now to put my name down across websites, unless I decide to do it myself by then.

Why 314 days you ask? In that moment of desperation, Pi jumped into my head. 3.14! Getit?? Now that I think of it, I should have used the Avogadro’s number.


The month that was

Hola! I am back to the big, bad USA and I am still incredibly jetlagged. My trip was not that short, but it feels like it was. My H1B got stamped till 2017, so yay for that. I went to Vadodara for a work visit and I took my mom along leaving dad and Moony at home. It was a huge break for her and she thoroughly enjoyed her stay in the 5-star hotel. She has been telling all and sundry about the awesome Taj hotel. Plus I took her out for a dinner date to Mainland China and she was sooooo happy! Dad is feeling better and needs only one cane to walk now. He drove for the first time while I was there. It was a huge improvement. During my first week in India, we went to Mumbai for my visa interview and he got to leave home for the first time since his surgery in August, barring the hospital visits. He was very drained but he felt so good! Moony is happy, but age has definitely caught up with him. We have to give him a quarter NSAID every day. The doctor said that giving him a painkiller daily will make his remaining time comfortable atleast. It is very very sad to see him shiver with his arthritic pain. But he is a happy bunny otherwise.

Last few days, my mom kept wondering aloud about how short the trip seemed. I am not going to post a giant travelogue but I want to list a few highlights from the trip.

The Good :

· Mommy, Daddy, Moony! New home! It is lovely! It is small, cozy, all white with nice balconies. Most importantly, it is ours!

· I ate tons of food! I had a lot of chaat, and visited new and old restaurants. My mom made everything I loved. I made a few things for lunches that I had learned.

· My Vadodara visit was very fruitful work-wise. My mom was insanely happy and thoroughly enjoyed her stay and the flight and the train trip. I loved the train ride back. I usually get the most amazing sleep on a train berth wrapped up in their blankets and sheets.

· We spent half a day in Ahmedabad and we shopped a bit at Law Garden. It brought back so many childhood memories. I was in luck and since it was Uttarayan season, our Gujarati Thali had Undhiyo and Jalebi. Gosh I miss that stuff! Highly recommend Toran for a good thali.

· We went to Siddhivinayak in Mumbai. I make sure to go there every time I am in Mumbai. We took a little leverage thanks to Dad’s walker and managed to get VIP darshan. Bwahahaha!

· Mumbai has the best cops and the best taxi and rickshaw drivers. The best. And Pune? The worst!

· I was very happy that my friends made some time to do a day trip to Adlabs Imagica. It has a lot of rides that are similar to Disneyland and Universal Studio rides. But the way it is built and run, is very impressive. It is following International standards easily. Some of the rides were truly thrilling and only Saipan was brave enough to do it with me. And Moo walked into a pole there and was retired hurt. I was worried about what if she starts saying “Main kaun hoon? Main kahan hoon?”

· Hazra and my breakfast at Wadeshwar on FC road after our Dagdusheth Ganpati early morning darshan. Plus I saw Ganpati fresh-fresh after his bath without his usual silk drapes and ornaments. He looked so adorable.

· I have recently re-connected with a school mate with who I used to do elocution and recital competitions. He picked me up from home and we went to have dinner on new year’s eve to Vaishali. He figured that was the classic-est place to take me and I approve. Vaishali’s Indian food is extremely famous and so good. It was a regular b’fast spot for me when I was in Junior College.

· I managed to not contact the xBF. Except a ‘happy new year’. To which he replied ‘happy new year’. How interesting.

· I met an ex bf and finally accepted his fb request and managed to keep it all clean. (We were famous for our on and off relationship thanks to our chemistry. Ahem.) I got told off by Ani and Shib for meeting him.

· I took Mausi-Mausaji and cousins to BBQ Nation as my treat. What Paneer man! Yum!

· Moo and Ani came home! Moo and I got thrown out of a children’s park. We were escorted out by 4-5 men making sure we don’t go back in. I went to Moo’s place and had the yummiest Nagercoil style egg curry ever.

· My best friends Hazra, Shibin and Saipan have once again re-iterated the fact that they are family and will always be there for my parents and I can stay in peace here. I love them to no end.

· My new year resolution is to make constant efforts to stay in touch with the besties. Hazra, Saipan, Shib, Ani and Moo. But it needs to be a two-way effort. But I will try my best.

· I went to India and came back unmarried. Booyah! 😀

The Bad :

· The saddest thing to happen was the loss of a parent by my best friend. I cannot fathom how deep his sorrow must be. Shibin lost his father to a heart attack. It happened in a few minutes but it changed lives. I was glad I could be with my friend at a time like that. He called me later to thank him. But there were no thanks needed. He is family. I gave my parents a big hug after I went home.

· Seeing Moony age, and new lines on my parents’ faces.

· That nagging feeling of leaving home and going so far away that all expats face. All the time.

· My parents questioning about why I am not yet ready to start looking for boys. They asked if I was still hopeful about Scube and if they want me to contact him. I lied through my teeth that it’s all over, and I have no hope.

· The xBF made no contact with me. Inspite of me checking in on FB and making it very obvious that I was in Mumbai, Pune and Lonavala.

· I fell horribly sick for a week with a terrible cold and sore throat.

· I was unable to meet so many people thanks to the above mentioned illness and the trips to Mumbai and Vadodara. So sorry Bhakti. Other than that, I got contacted by so many people to meet and it was quite impossible. Random people from BE who I have never spoken to wanted to meet me. So weird. Except this girl Esha with who I got along fine in college. A year and half back also she wanted to meet and this time also she commented on my Instagram to meet her. I feel weirdly sorry that I could not meet her.

The Ugly :

· I have gotten off a very high horse regarding friendship. I feel humiliated by the total lack of concern shown by a couple of friends over even texting or acknowledging that I was in India. I do not expect a call from them because even I am on a texting term with them in the group. But the complete lack of response to anything I say or to my being in India made me feel very insulted. I had taken some gifts for them to give when I met them. One was supposed to come to Imagica with the group. But she cancelled at the very last moment and for something she knew about long back. Why even make a plan then? Or have the guts to say it in the group and not call a friend and tell him in private. I am so done with that group. It makes me very glad that I did not go for their weddings. (On a more evil note, I regret even getting them wedding gifts. Hmmpphh). It’s like, kehne ke liye friends. Baaki they don’t give a hoot about me. What is the point of such friends when you don’t feel the warmth. Esha seems to be more concerned about me than these so-called friends. Maybe that’s why I feel that guilt over not meeting people who actually wanted to meet me.

Anyways, now I am back to office and oscillating between pure dread about the work that lies ahead and sheer laziness. I miss home. I want to be back with my parents. But there is no point saying that. But I am also glad to be back. Friends at work rushed in to my space to tell how they missed me. It was nice to hug my car. She definitely missed me and I missed her. Also, I am glad to back on the blog. I have read most of the posts when I was home, but could not comment. I wish I could do the 30 day challenge! But next time.

So, bye for now. See you guys later!


Take care.

We fight, we hold grudges, we give power to our egos to control us. We get angry on the most trivial things, we say hurtful things, we forget to leash our tongues.
We get busy, we forget to call, we forget to let them know how we are. We forget to ask how they are.
It just doesn’t matter.
My best friend Shib’s father passed away on the 15th.
Life is so fickle. Smile every moment, tell them you love them. Call them, text them, hug them. You can’t do much, but at least let’s not do the least.