15 steps to avoid being a weirdo on Tinder

So, I have been trying out Truly Madly in India and Tinder in my area in California. The experience so far has been very wavy. I haven’t met anyone yet, but I am planning to meet some of the guys I have been talking to soon-ish. Let’ see how it turns out. Maybe if nothing else, they will give me some blog content. I feel horrible pangs of heartache and have phases of relapsing into old memories. But I am trying really hard. I wonder what is he doing. 

So far, some of the boys that I have spoken to have been really, really weird. With a few exceptions, of course. I do not know if it’s a mentality or a grooming issue. I have mostly been swiping for Indian guys, because that’s what I am into. I have also spoken to some gora guys but that wavelength merge with such a different culture could be too much for me to handle. You know what I mean? It is just a personal preference for me, and to each his own. Although Gora guys have been matching up with me, but they could just be, you know, expanding their portfolios. Haha!

 

Now as a Public Service announcement, if you are a boy on tinder, please use the following guidelines to avoid turning off a girl. I think some points work for both the sexes, but I am not sure what to tell girls because I have no idea what their dating scene looks like. In my head, I am perfection. 😀 

 1.       Do not assume that if an Indian girl is on Tinder, she is bold and easy. You will make yourself look like a h*rny idiot.

2.       Do not open a conversation with Hie or Hye. Horrible.

3.       Do not use the term Daru(alcohol) after every 5 sentences. You just come across like a raging alcoholic or like a typical college kid who is screaming ‘I drink daru! So I am very cool!!’

4.       Do not ask a girl if she has done the deed with her ex-boyfriend. My friend went through such a conversation with a total turd.

5.       Do not put mirror or gym selfies as your profile picture.

6.       Do not ask her how can she be a vegetarian. She can be whatever the hell she wants to be.

7.       Do not ask her for her favorite author and proceed to insult the said author’s books. You will get whacked by the fattest book of the series.

8.       Do not send her a Facebook friend request the same day as you started talking to her. Nothing screams more desperate than that.

9.       Do not say ‘Oh, I don’t expect girls to be in Mechanical Engineering’ unless you want a screwdriver up your ###.

10.   Do not call her things like ‘Sunshine’ right on the second day of starting chatting. She may be a dark thunder cloud, you never know. Nicknames are best avoided.

11.   Do not be on Tinder if you are the kind of guy who will date like a Romeo and marry the girl only your Mumma chooses. There is Shaadi.com for that.

12.   Do  not ask a girl ‘if she does too much shopping’. It’s her money and she can set it on fire if she wishes to. 

13.   Do not start dissing India. Don’t be ‘that’ kind of a guy.

14.   Do not call anyone ‘so gay’. You will stink of narrow-mindedness and shortsightedness and there is no cologne to care of that. 

15.   Do not be someone you are not. If you are all of the above and pretend to be not, it is way worse. Open your mind and heart a bit, and you will do so much better in life.

*Going back to swiping left n right*