It’s a hard job belonging to the female species.
Excuse me for this rant, but someone’s gotta say it. Don’t forget to read this with a pinch of salt. And a lemon wedge. With tequila.
1. Periods. Hi! Did I just make you all very uncomfortable?? 😉 Just the word is enough to curdle blood of any man, and send a gush of wild hormones in a woman’s vein. It hurts like a B*tch, feels disgusting, and leaves you so uncomfortable that you cannot sit, sleep or even sneeze in peace. Everything hurts. Including the sound of anyone breathing. Also, don’t ever tell a woman that the whole reason for the pain is to create life and miracle and all that jazz when she is PMS-ing. Just don’t.
2. Hair Removal. It is very easy for guys to say that they can’t stand girls who have hair on their arms or legs. In the same breath, they will say that oooh, they don’t know how women can rip off their hair and they will never do it. To rebel, I don’t wax my arms. And I am proud of my peach fuzz. Deal with it. There is nothing unhygienic about it. I go without touching my legs for months sometimes and I am brave enough to go to the gym in shorts.
3. Nails. We were at the bar the other day and 2 friends mentioned how they feel that if a girl’s nails are done, then it’s like a given thing that the girl is neat, clean and takes care of herself. So basically, to prove someone of my hygiene commitment, I am expected to blow up $40-$60 for a mani-pedi every week. Hmmmmmm.
4. Hair. Haircuts are the most stressful things. THE MOST EVER! People say it will grow out, it’s just hair. But the damn bird’s nest takes months to look presentable if gone wrong. Washing hair is a huge task and some poor ladies have to do it every day (make that 90% of non-desi girls I know). I hate the whole business of wetting, shampooing, then rinsing, then conditioning, then rinsing again and waiting forever for my hair to dry. Shorter hairstyles haven’t helped either, because if dried wrong, it looks horrible. I don’t want to get into the whole ironing/curling/blowdrying process. I don’t understand how women get up half an hour earlier to do their hair. Respect.
5. Shopping. This applies to only indecisive women like me. I will go to a store, browse just with my eyes, without touching anything, will get depressed about not finding anything, will leave, will come back after 15 minutes, browse again, will find something which is more expensive than my grocery budget of the month, will curse the economy of the country and walk out. Then I will go home and regret not buying the same thing for about 6 months to a lifetime. If I have some event, the first thing to pop in my head are outfit options. I will style everything in my head perfectly before realizing that not only I don’t have 60% of items but neither the tall lean stature to carry it off. Sigghh.
6. Fat accumulation. I cannot stand the belly bulge when I am sitting down. B**bies are the worst offenders in this case. Br*s can be f-ing annoying and more so if new weight is gained. Cannot even burn the damn br*s because then any body movement will be agony. Sheesh. We women have been blessed to deposit fat directly on our torso for some goddamn reason. It is very, very easy to accumulate it, but so hard to get rid of it. This is injustice. This brings me too…
7. Food. For the general public, ‘A moment on the lip, forever on the hips.’ For most women, ‘On belly, upper arms, bust, butt, upper legs.’ To all ladies who like their drinks, yes, beer belly is a reality.
8. Shoes. When Eve bit into the apple, God punished her by condemning her to eternal sin, and by creating high heeled shoes. When they say beauty comes at a price, they really mean it. I love the look of high heeled shoes, but my feet decided to be flat and have awkward joints with tapering toes(bunion) and that effectively put an end to my high heeled ambitions. Also, never ask a girl to walk home if she is in her heels, unless you want a kick with the same stilettoes.
9. Childbirth. First of all, who decided to give women certain child bearing years, while leaving men with practically their life time to work the family jewels? Why the hell are eggs finite? That’s just so unfair. Even worse is, why did it have to be so F-ing painful and agonizing and even more hormone-y than menstruation? Plus, I definitely have a problem with the glorification of motherhood in movies, TV, or society in general. Some woman either cannot have kids or don’t want to have kids, or some may even want kids but just adopt. IT’S FINE.
10. Judgement. Patriarchy. Prejudice. Inequality. Inferiority. Enough said.
Now you can shoot that tequila down.
Exactly !
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Cheers! 😀
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True Word! My Nails don’t grow ( And No I dont chew them) and it is so irritating.. They are as flat as a flat screen TV. Lets not even get started on my toes..
My toes have blisters, calluses, Broken Nails, Clotted Nails, Half broken nails, dead nails, Yellow nails — Well all thanks to my crazy passion for running. 10 months in a year I am generally training for a half marathon..
You win some and you lose some. So when anybody points out anything to do with Nails I just show them my running log.. Some of them still don’t understand it and give me that “so what” look..
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Hahaha! Man your nail katha is like my skin katha. Tragedy master. It’s a pain yaa. Something will never look taken care of even if we baby them.
I am impressed by your running. I see your Instagram. I have done only puny 5Ks.
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And I would add a couple to your list..
1. Beauty treatments – Facial, cleanups etc
2. Pimples… *grrrrrr*
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Pimples. Let’s not even talk about them or I will start crying.
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Totally agree about periods and child birth. But I think some of these can be made easier by women themselves if we stop looking for validation from men, I mean, who says we have to be a certain way so that men find us attractive. A lot of times women don’t give it back because they feel less confident if a man passes a judgment. I had this ridiculous colleague who had the nerve to tell me to apply almond oil on my legs because they looked dry. I told him to go give free advice to his mother, sister, girlfriend. I am neither. And then I said he needed to grow some hair on his bald pate.
I think fat accumulation is fast becoming a problem for men with sedentary lifestyles. I keep seeing men under 30s give a tough competition to my paunch. 😀
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This list came cuz both men and women made me mad. Haha. The childbirth and period thing, I do feel women are the worst offenders. Women can be majorly slut shamers as well even if they claim to be feminists who treat boys very casually. It’s just hypocritical behavior mixed with some female jealousy. I think.
What an idiot! I liked your reply. I would have done the same. Loser.
Regarding fat, ugh I hate it! I workout so hard yet I have a belly. 😦 But I do cheat in my cardio and eat rubbish. Haha. But fitness has become very important to me now. I feel if I don’t bring it in control now, my metabolism is just going to get worse. I agree about men and their paunches. I like guys who work out or so something active to stay healthy. I find them attractive, like they are in control. 😊
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Exactly! Women tend to judge other women more. That’s been my experience anyway, where women have tried to make me feel guilty for something.
I think it’s just Indian genes. We are not very muscular people. I have difficulty in building any muscle too because of which I have a small paunch most of the time. But I cleverly hide it with loose clothing 😀
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slouchy tank tops are my go to. Lol. Show the collar bone and the paunch is forgotten. Haha
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Mayhem! 😎
You are my June-sweetheat 💓
Finally, someone says things she sees fit. Epic post, really. Mazaa aa gaya sachi..
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Haha. I am glad you liked it! I think part of it was hormone fueled. Lol.
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Hormone hi hai toh bhi sahi hai. A part of Princess Butter is hormone after all. Sad part is people don’t like to own up to this side of theirs… Same goes for boys.
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A big chunk of PB is a hormone rush. 😀
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Lol… What a blunt post.. Someone had to say it! You did! 😀 😀
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Gotta do it! Gotta warn ’em. 😝
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Ahem, i have an issue with ur point num 2. You are missing a keyword there, ‘need’.
I don’t (need to) wax my arms.
I (dont need to) touch my legs for months sometimes and I am brave enough to go to the gym in shorts.
Hmph. Hairless you. Im so jealous.
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I do! You are making me sound like the hairless cat Rachel Greene has. Lol
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Hairless cat no. But you have hair in all the right places and in all the right quantities and in all the right lengths and in all the right textures. You have NO RIGHT to point 2 and 4. I object m’lord.
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Chal chal. 😛 Objection overruled.
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You can get away without waxing your arms and legs? I hate you.
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Arre no. It’s just, not as dense. But I get lazy at times and then I pretend I am rebelling and not conforming to society. 😄
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Yes, hate her. We’ve been hating her for 10 years.
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Yes yes. That’s why you wanted to stomp on me like a cockroach yday.
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I could sense anger while going through the statements, respect for this post. Keep up the good work 🙂
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Hehe, yeah, I too see some frustration laced with anger here. Pretty potent combination, huh?
Thanks for the appreciation. 😊
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Add a bit of wise attitude to make it a really potent combination 😀
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“Wise” what is this strange word that you speak of? Hehe.
You are right though b
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This word struck my ears somewhere, blame it on the sound-source :p
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😋
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Whoa! What a post? Loved it and totally agree to all the points mentioned above except the waxing one though. Only we know what we go through. You are good re PB!
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Thanks Shruti yaa! It’s NOT easy being us.
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Agree with the not waxing part, even i am bored most of the times and go in dresses etc with hair on my legs 🙂 loved reading the post
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I think it’s totally legit! We should do whatever the heck we want.
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Well said, Princess!
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Thanks Divs. 😀
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I stopped reading after I read you can happily live without waxing your arms & waxing legs after long gaps *cries in a corner*
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This moo is just spreading rumors. I assure you it’s more out of laziness than anything else!
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