Of conversations and such…

This is literally how my conversation goes with some people at work, on every day of the week.

Monday : Hi, thanks, doing good. So tired, ugh, I need a longer weekend. Hate Mondays.

Tuesday : How are you? Happy Tuesday. Ugh, its going to be a long week.

Wednesday : Hi, I am good too, thanks. Made it half way. Almost there.

Thursday : Ya, I am good. How are you? Well, another day to go. Happy Thursday.

Friday : Yeah, I am good. Its Friday. Happy Friday! Weekend plans? Catching up on sleep.

It’s like a countdown. Every single week. Specially with people who I am not particularly great friends with, but we get along. Haha. If we are stuck together for long, we will talk about weather like rest of Californians do. If there is more time, they will invariably ask me about when I am going next to India.

I need more topics. Or a watch to make me invisible.

I am not a small talk person. I get awkward. You can literally hear the crickets go off in my head when there is a pause in conversation with someone new I meet. I am not the life of a party. I am more of the well dressed, hair and makeup done kind of dark cloud who will stand in the corner of a room or find a chair to plop down with one friend, if this is an unknown person’s party. Oh! The kitchen! Yes, I am also the person who will linger in the kitchen, eyeing food or eating it the whole time. The days when I used to not drink on Saturdays? Talking or even the thought of hanging out with certain people used to be so excruciating. There are people with who if I have to be, I definitely need to be atleast 2 drinks down. Compulsory! Then I will start dancing with my shoes off and that’s another story.

As a matter of fact, don’t ever ask me so what’s up or what’s new, specially if you don’t know me too well. It is a VERY loaded question. There is this colleague of mine who says “Hi PB, so what’s new?” There are so many things I want to tell him but I check myself and give the worst response. Ever. “Nothing much.” Meh.

Remember these conversations with some people?
Me : Hi!
Person 2 : Hi!
Me: So what’s up?
Person 2 : Nothing much. You tell.
Me : Nothing much.
Person 2 : Hmm.
Me : Ok, good talking to you! Bye!

I want to usually tell everyone everything about me. It has put me in spots where I end up looking like a ditzy, silly girl. While camping in Zion, I ended up telling DD and Ted about some hidden dams and waterfalls in Lonavala that I had discovered with some friends **cough, and some boyfriends, cough** and I haven’t heard the end of it from Ted now. He keeps laughing at me. Hmmpphh. Now, why would I say such things right away? Your guess is as good as mine. I suffer from the classic word-diarrhea syndrome.

But I want to know things. I am a curious cat. I think that’s what led me to blogs as well. I want to know everything about people. What they feel, what they think, what goes on behind that curiously sweet smile that makes their eyes crinkle. I want to know what they are thinking when they take a pause and shake their head at me. I want to find out how they feel when I do something. I want to know what is their view on movies, Narendra Modi, traveling, the car they like, the scent that turns them on, their favorite color, everything! Give me mental stimulation and give me fluff. I will gladly accept both.


For the future special someone, a little hint : If you want to win my heart, be ready to talk!


Rumor has it

She seems to be
Thinking a lot lately,
Smiling alone,
Veiling her laugh thinly.

Rumor has it,
Her evenings are merry.
And it has nothing to do
With her vodka and cherry.

Twisting her hair strands,
Around her finger,
She plays with the pen,
Letting the thoughts linger.

Rumor has it,
Her blush has a new shade.
The eyes have a twinkle,
That refuses to fade.

She says she’s free,
Yet feels some fear.
She feels so strange,
Yet it is all so familiar.

Rumor has it,
Her heart is beating.
Not felt for long,
How now she’s feeling.

There’s a spring in her step,
The extra curls in hair.
Her perfume seems new,
Not her usual fare.

Rumor has it,
She feels new energy in her core.
Her eyes are elsewhere,
You may not be the one for her anymore.


What fun it was to write this piece! You can give the last line a nice ‘moving on’ touch or make it scandalous. If you chose the latter, you are mad cool! I am not telling which one I chose, as of now. 😉


As my heart speaks (Guest post by the Father)

My dad wrote this and sent it to me over the weekend. I have no words to explain how I feel when I read it. It is the most beautiful, heartfelt tribute I have ever seen.

As my heart speaks.

20th July 2015. The fateful day on which our dearest Moony left us. He left behind an empty life for us. Didn’t you realize that dear Moony? On that day I lost part of my life, an important part of my body. He was integral part of my life. How could he leave me?

15 years. That was the time he was with me all the time showering selfless love. That sometimes made me feel ashamed as we all do the things with some return in mind. But not he. For him it was only giving. Giving affection, love and pleasure. He drove away my stress, my worries. He gave me pleasure as a yogi gets in trance. He was pure love and joy personified.

15 years. That was the time I watched him grow. That was the time I also watched my daughter grow. I could never separate them. I watched his early playful days. I watched him getting matured and I watched him getting quieter. As I watched him, he also watched me and took my care. How could you leave me now?

15 years. During this time we took care of each other. Who took more care? Me or he? I can’t tell. Our friends and relatives say we took good care of his for all his life. Is it? In fact he took care of me. Yes, I used to rush to the doctor at the slightest discomfort he seemed to face. I tended him when he was not well. Administered medicines religiously. That was all. But whenever I was not well he was around all the time speaking through his eyes and asking me to get well and play with him. He never left me alone when he realized I was having some trouble. The way he received me when I was brought back from hospital after my operation last year cannot be described. He did not move from my bed. Why did he move away now?

15 years. He was always around. I always felt his warmth and his touch. Touching his coat was heavenly pleasure. I could never get sleep unless he pushed me with his paws. The touch of his body and softness of his luxurious fur was the gift from God. How will I run my fingers through his coat now?

15 years. That was the time. Long or short. These are relative terms. This is a short time for us. I did not like his leaving us so soon. I am getting angry with him for leaving us so soon and when we needed him more. How could he do that?

15 years. We celebrated his each birthday with joy. It also used to make him happy. He was in a critical state of health and great pain on his 15th birthday. He knew we had decided to celebrate. We called relatives. In spite of his problems he did not disappoint us. He celebrated with us enduring extreme weakness obliging with photographs. Then he decided to say goodbye. Next day! He cared for our feelings till last.

I am a great believer in rebirth. There is no doubt, dear Moony, we will again live together in the next birth with more love and affection. More than this birth. The God will have to grant this wish.

Can’t see anything, can’t write now. My eyes are moist. I know he never liked that. I will hold back my tears. 

Daddy and his boy… Such handsome men!



Some poetry for Shib’s birthday

Well, better late than never 😀

Shib and I have bonded in the strangest ways for him to become my brother from another mother. With the ups and downs we went through, together and separate, it feels like our foundation is becoming stronger by the day. We were super goofy in college, always upto no good. We loved singing together, eating at the canteen with borrowed money(loooong story!), hitting each other just for fun, trash talking and such fun stuff. I cannot even say anything anymore about our relationship because words will not do justice. It was his birthday on 21st June and his fiance decided to surprise him with a handmade scrapbook with things written down for him by his people. This was my entry for the competition scrapbook entry.

There are so many reasons,
Why I should hate you,
But every one is the same,
For why I should love you.

You asked me to hit you,
I always hit you extra tight,
You pinched me back,
Put up a ridiculous fight.

Our kajrare is legendary,
We at the singing auditions,
That’s why they don’t choose us,
We will slay the competition.

Ani, me and you as a team
Two sisters and a brother,
Rakhis and lazy lamhe,
Got us well covered.

Our endless photo sessions
With your tongue poking out,
We practically invented,
‘Em selfies and the pouts.

Words always fall short,
Of how to describe us Bhai,
Our memories will never fade,
Moments won’t fall shy.


How I met my first blog buddy!

Guess what I did over the weekend?? Which happened to be Friendships day coincidentally. Yay! I met the fabulous Popgoesthebiscuit, her husbadoo and the cutie pie that is Bandar.We have been looking forward to this meeting since the time they decided to move lock, stock and barrel to San Diego. I was so excited and a bit nervous about it. Well, she already knew about my crazies from my posts so I did not exactly have much to be nervous about. First impressions and all that. 

We met on Saturday evening where I drove to her apartment. The original plan was to stay overnight, but her furniture is still in shipping from New York. So a sleepover is still in the pipelines. 😀 I met her hubby and baby Bandar, who talks nineteen to the dozen but speaks the most amazing things. She showed me this magnet with a picture of the three of them in Langkawi and I managed to confuse her for 5 minutes that it’s not her but me in the picture! Pop almost killed me by telling Bandar that I am PB auntie but I convinced her to call me PB Maasi instead. Phew! Crisis averted. 

After that, Bandar, Pop and me walked down to a park close by where I was the troll running behind Bandar in this swing-maze-slide-thingie. I loved hanging out with them two there because we could have a heart to heart chat there where we discussed everything we have written about or not written about. Some old stories, and some new ones. She was curious about certain things and I had promised to fill her up whenever we would have met. So, I did just that. 

That was followed by a walk to PF Chang’s where we had dinner. We turned it into a happy girl’s night out with baby B. She was being such a good kid and I think they are amazing parents! Bichari was given totally bland food in the name of kid’s menu and yet, she was eating it with all the stories being built around broccoli and snap peas. 😀 She was really tired and wanted to go home, so P came over from their apt to walk back with us and she was so delighted to see her daddy! 

It was an incredibly fun meeting where not for once we felt like we are meeting each other for the first time. She was exactly as I had expected. It was almost like we have known each other for years and we are just meeting each other after a little gap of time. When I had told my mom that I was meeting a blogger friend, she said it sounded just like meeting a pen-pal. 😀

This is like the start of a new friendship, which doesn’t feel like new at all! The best kinds! 🙂