It’s happening you guys! If you look my name up on Anuroop, you will find it. Well, not Princess Butter, but my real name. D-Uh. Not just Anuroop, but Bharat Matrimony and I suppose Shaadi.com too. I have given my go ahead to the Mother and Father and have told them that I am going to keep my search on too.
For the non-Indian audience, yes I am putting my name down for an Arranged Marriage scenario, and no, I will not be getting married without seeing them/meeting them, and also, I am NOT being forced into this. This is not very different than Online Dating where you match with someone, meet them, date them and maybe say yes for a long term relationship. It just is a bit faster leading towards marriage and you have a goal. There are pros and cons. Just like pros and cons in online dating, or meeting someone at the bar, or through friends. You get my drift, hopefully.
I told them about my dating scenario and Mom was a little scandalized but alright and said try and do your shenanigans on Matrimonial Apps rather than Tinder/Coffee meets Bagel or whatever. Haha! Also, she wants me to send her a picture in a ‘mod dress’ so the guy and his family will have an idea what they are dealing with.
When we were talking, Dad asked to give him a broad idea with respect to what I want. I went really broad and said, I want a male. He said, okay, I will keep that in mind. 😀 Then I said that you know my personality so make sure the guy matches that. At that point, my dad said in these exact words, “We have tried! But we have failed to understand you! God knows what you are now. YOU ARE AN ENIGMA!” We were all in fits of laughter for the next 10 minutes. Although the crux of the matter is that my parents have left it on me to filter out the guys and are not going to interfere. They are cool like that.
So, I looked up the Anuroop Sanstha website and the registration website and have a lot of doubts in my head about it.
1. Chashma/Spectacles seems like an important point. I think my soda glasses are going to buy me a couple of years. 😀
2. What the hell is my built from these options(translated into English from really funny Marathi words) : Slim, Medium, Like a stick, Plump, Delicate?? What the F#ck is delicate!
3. Am I fair or wheatish? Can I write MAC foundation shade NC37? Wait! I am NC35 in concealer. Will the 2 shade range make a difference? OMG!
4. For Groom’s expectation with regards to food habits, I prefer vegetarian(eggetarian), but will adjust with meat eating as long as it’s not cooked in front of me. But can I write that I am not going to kiss him right after he eats it?
5. Again for Groom’s expectations, I need to mention if I want someone who can cook or not. Can I say, I don’t care, but must know how to do dishes?
6. There is a question about how do I spend my spare time. Is “Sleeping, youtube, or youtubing while lying down” an acceptable answer?
7. I will have to rank my time between these options: Family, Relatives, Friends, Guru-Satsang, Others. If my past few weeks are anything to go by, 100% of my free time is going to Abhi-Nisha-Madhuri! And ‘Would you want your spouse to partake in these activities?’ Hell yeah! 😀
8. Do I play any games? I play baseball in a tiny city league with a bunch of drunk people and my team name is ‘Happy Hour’. Are mind-games during flirting/courting counted?
9. I am supposed to tell if I smoke, drink, club etc. and for the weirdest reason ‘hoteling’ is included in it. First of all, I hate the word. It’s stupid. And since when is eating out being clubbed with these ‘must-ask’ questions?
10. The form asks if our family values are traditional, modern, free-thinking or flexible. FLEXIBLE. I thought of something entirely else when I read it. It was awkward.
11. The best for the last. Options for the past: Serious relationship, relationships or just friendship. Why will anyone write down just friendship? I could put down 200 names and counting, for all my friends. Sheesh.
My dad said he is already tired. My mom yelled at him and said that it’s been just ONE day. I said they are looking at atleast 2 more years of madness.
So, to end it, my mom has summarized me as “Liberal, broad minded, modern girl who values her friendships and relationships.”
I am such a catch on paper.
PS: Convinced the folks to not pay up for their annual registration till January. I don’t have time till December and don’t want to waste 2 months’ fee. Top-of-the-line cheapskate I am.