Taking the plunge!

It’s happening you guys! If you look my name up on Anuroop, you will find it. Well, not Princess Butter, but my real name. D-Uh. Not just Anuroop, but Bharat Matrimony and I suppose Shaadi.com too. I have given my go ahead to the Mother and Father and have told them that I am going to keep my search on too.

For the non-Indian audience, yes I am putting my name down for an Arranged Marriage scenario, and no, I will not be getting married without seeing them/meeting them, and also, I am NOT being forced into this. This is not very different than Online Dating where you match with someone, meet them, date them and maybe say yes for a long term relationship. It just is a bit faster leading towards marriage and you have a goal. There are pros and cons. Just like pros and cons in online dating, or meeting someone at the bar, or through friends. You get my drift, hopefully.

I told them about my dating scenario and Mom was a little scandalized but alright and said try and do your shenanigans on Matrimonial Apps rather than Tinder/Coffee meets Bagel or whatever. Haha! Also, she wants me to send her a picture in a ‘mod dress’ so the guy and his family will have an idea what they are dealing with.

When we were talking, Dad asked to give him a broad idea with respect to what I want. I went really broad and said, I want a male. He said, okay, I will keep that in mind. 😀 Then I said that you know my personality so make sure the guy matches that. At that point, my dad said in these exact words, “We have tried! But we have failed to understand you! God knows what you are now. YOU ARE AN ENIGMA!” We were all in fits of laughter for the next 10 minutes. Although the crux of the matter is that my parents have left it on me to filter out the guys and are not going to interfere. They are cool like that.

So, I looked up the Anuroop Sanstha website and the registration website and have a lot of doubts in my head about it.

1. Chashma/Spectacles seems like an important point. I think my soda glasses are going to buy me a couple of years. 😀

2. What the hell is my built from these options(translated into English from really funny Marathi words) : Slim, Medium, Like a stick, Plump, Delicate?? What the F#ck is delicate!

3. Am I fair or wheatish? Can I write MAC foundation shade NC37? Wait! I am NC35 in concealer. Will the 2 shade range make a difference? OMG!

4. For Groom’s expectation with regards to food habits, I prefer vegetarian(eggetarian), but will adjust with meat eating as long as it’s not cooked in front of me. But can I write that I am not going to kiss him right after he eats it?

5. Again for Groom’s expectations, I need to mention if I want someone who can cook or not. Can I say, I don’t care, but must know how to do dishes?

6. There is a question about how do I spend my spare time. Is “Sleeping, youtube, or youtubing while lying down” an acceptable answer?

7. I will have to rank my time between these options: Family, Relatives, Friends, Guru-Satsang, Others. If my past few weeks are anything to go by, 100% of my free time is going to Abhi-Nisha-Madhuri! And ‘Would you want your spouse to partake in these activities?’ Hell yeah! 😀

8. Do I play any games? I play baseball in a tiny city league with a bunch of drunk people and my team name is ‘Happy Hour’. Are mind-games during flirting/courting counted?

9. I am supposed to tell if I smoke, drink, club etc. and for the weirdest reason ‘hoteling’ is included in it. First of all, I hate the word. It’s stupid. And since when is eating out being clubbed with these ‘must-ask’ questions?

10. The form asks if our family values are traditional, modern, free-thinking or flexible. FLEXIBLE. I thought of something entirely else when I read it. It was awkward.

11. The best for the last. Options for the past: Serious relationship, relationships or just friendship. Why will anyone write down just friendship? I could put down 200 names and counting, for all my friends. Sheesh. 

My dad said he is already tired. My mom yelled at him and said that it’s been just ONE day. I said they are looking at atleast 2 more years of madness.

So, to end it, my mom has summarized me as “Liberal, broad minded, modern girl who values her friendships and relationships.”
I am such a catch on paper.

PS: Convinced the folks to not pay up for their annual registration till January. I don’t have time till December and don’t want to waste 2 months’ fee. Top-of-the-line cheapskate I am. 

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45 thoughts on “Taking the plunge!

  1. You are hilarious!!!!! And of course you can say you won’t kiss him after he eats meat. And of course youtubing while lying down is an acceptable answer. And of course his ability to do dishes is a requirement. And so forth. You crack me up!

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  2. I want to say wowo spooky website .

    Don’t ask why I said that. . That’s how I felt.. weirdo yeah I know myself

    Anyway all the best. . ☺☺

    I am anxiously waiting now for posts to tell us who all contacted you and what happened. .😀😀

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    • It’s an extremely well known family business, I don’t suppose a good website design is their forte. Though wouldn’t hurt to make it more user friendly and attractive, in my opinion. 😀
      I am also waiting. If nothing else, good blog fodder.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. hi PB! Well I was on Anuroop as well…:p and nothing came out of it! I was so uninterested and my dad was unbothered. Only my poor mom lost her sleep over “no suitable matches”. It was funny then and funnier now to think about us trying to capture what I am or what I was looking for in a few words.
    Good luck PB, I really hope you find someone in a most serendipitous way 🙂

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  4. Woah! That’s a LOT of questions. And lot of private questions? Who would want to talk about past relationships?

    I have been through this STRUGGLE. It is a PAIN. But when things do work out (yes, it worked out for me 🙂 ) everything falls into place, and you are left amused, “flabbergasted”. Just when you have totally given up on this, a person walks in – almost exactly the kind you wanted, it is so difficult to believe after all that nonsense you have gone through – THAT sweetens the struggle. So, All the best 🙂

    My only suggestion – just be brutally honest, be yourself, it is better to intimidate people than to make them feel that you are nice. It is easy to weed out people. One conversation and you know. It is the good ones that take time.

    Haha, this is turning out to be a long comment. Coming from my heart 😉 hehe..

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    • This helps. A lot! That’s what we have decided. We are going to be honest about everything. And hopefully the boys think on similar lines. I do believe that things will happen only when they are meant to. That’s why seemingly perfect relationships fell apart, right?

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  5. Gaah…. hahahahaa…So funny! I wish you all the best in your search.. Am sure, when the right person comes along, all your criteria would seem satisfied..and he’ll be ok with whatever you’ve jotten down! 😀 😀 So excited for you.. 🙂 yay!

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  6. Hi PB.. that was hilarious… put a smile on my face this dreary monday morning! Good luck! Having been thru it… it’s quite a ride but worth it to find someone in the end. And what it is ‘Guru – Satsang’??? and no option for bar hopping / partying?? these websites need to wake up!!!!

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  7. Congratulations on officially turning of “the marriage-able age”.
    After reading what your father said about you, my mind screamed I could say the same about Pari even though it is a few decades ahead of time.
    Good luck with everything dear, I just want to say, the only way of having this journey work is being patient and a lot of it.
    I am with you on thinking of mentioning my complexion in terms of the foundation I use 😉

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  8. 😀 Firstly, I love your blog!!
    You don’t mince your words AT ALL and of its an absolute delight when somebody says things that sound like they came right off the tip of your tongue! \m/ ❤
    I am in my early twenties and I can only imagine how much more worse things are going to be at my end in the next five years.. 😐
    “Liberal, broad minded, modern girl who values her friendships and relationships.”
    I don't think that description will ever do justice to the person you are! 🙂
    But, I hope the right guy for you comes along soon enough (even if he doesn't belong on that matrimonial site!).
    P.s. So they don't have a question for normalcy or crazies eh?! Damn!

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  9. Hey I’m an engineering graduate and I did go for placements in college. Aside from the aptitude and technical paper we do have an English paper too right? Right? Heck even clerical cadre in public sector banks have the English paper. Now i know from interacting with various I.T employees that your English needn’t be spectacular and so does your technical skills because BE is just a diploma to get onto the company because the actual skills are taught prior to 6 months of actually being employed. At least that’s how its working here in India for the big ones like TCS Infosys and Cognizant. The rest I’ve no idea. But you know when I’m looking at the profiles on the various matrimonial sites my dad got me registered and many of them ARE working in TCS, Infy, Honeywell, etc.. earning around 10-12 lakh a year. And they respond this way. “I have gone thorough the profile and I think it might suite to me”. I’m not kidding, these are the exact words. It makes me wonder how did people like them make it so far and believe me 10 lakh a year is quite an accomplishment for a BE graduate from an average college in just a span of 4 to 5 years. I have come across a LOT of profiles like that and the one which i mentioned is the most recent one. Now I’m not writing to you just to poke fun at them but I’m genuinely sad and disappointed at my very slow career growth. 😭😿 And I’ve had the biggest fights with my parents over this whole marriage thingy. 😢

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    • Ugh I feel you, girl!
      I think when we are in love, we tend to overlook these things. English, weight, hairline, all that. But when it’s a situation where you have to make yourself fall in love with someone, personality, English, looks play a part even if I deny it to be politically correct. That’s basic human nature.
      And communication skills are a HUGE part of personality for me. I have been speaking to some guys and it’s so uncomfortable for me to talk in Marathi so I keep switching to English. That’s how I talk to my friends and exes and even family! It’s Hindi or English. So it made me feel so odd that the guy kept talking in Marathi and said he knows English because ‘now lived here in US so long’. I mean it wasn’t his fault but I was very uncomfortable.

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