27

10 types of people on my Instagram

I am a social media nut and I have said that many times before. I happen to have two Instagram accounts in my life and no, they don’t know about each other. *Evil grin* One account is my personal one, and the second newer, but less updated one, is my blog account. I am not totally sure why I started the second one, but wanting to show off the few fun things I do(rarely) to my blog readers is a likely reason.

I follow quite a few people on both these accounts and I have noticed some fun things about the kind of pictures posted by certain people on my feed. I decided to list some of the categories I could make out. I am going to exclude bloggers from the list because A.) I don’t want you all to get mad at me; and B.) I don’t want to categorize those as they can be exclusively fashion/makeup/food/lifestyle blog accounts. I had made a similar list with people on Facebook, and have a look here.
 
So, what kind of people do I know on Instagram?
 

1. One eyed monsters 
: I have queens as well as kings of selfies on my Instagram feed. I have never seen both their eyes in one shot and this goes for girls and even few boys. The hair is exactly the same with bangs on one side and straight shoulder length hair with layers. The face is always tilted in an angle. I don’t think they can ever get a Passport made, because they will never look straight into the camera! I have a genuine question. Do you use superglue to keep the hair in the same position?? 

I woke up like this. Really. And spent the next 20 min brushing my hair to normalcy.

 

2. Must-kiss-everybody : These people have a lot of love in their hearts and they go above and beyond ‘free hugs’. They want to give kissie to everybody. I think their parents forced them to kiss every aunt and uncle and this has resulted in the permanent pout. What else could the reason be? As for the duck face, they are just trying to figure out if they should ‘swallow or spit it out’. 😉

3. The Collagers : Every picture is a collage of 10 pictures. And IG doesn’t let you zoom. So all I see are tiny blobs of colors in a big blob. I also know many people who take 8 selfies and put it in one picture, as if they are the bombs and they can’t make their mind up about where they are the prettiest. Like, what? Please choose, about 5. That looks prettier and gets the story across. And my myopic eyes can see the pictures.

4. The Hunger Game-ers : All you see is food, food and some more food. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, snacks, Starbucks, everything makes their way on their IG. I specially want to mention Starbucks, because since the day it set up shop in India, it’s almost like they are handing out death penalty if you buy something there and don’t put up a picture. #maakehaathkakhana is a buzzword now, and so is #foodgasm. I have never seen #garmagaramchai so popular in the same field as #bruschettaItaliana. Also, what’s with a #iamsohealthynow when they put up a picture of a smoothie that they drink once in 6 months?

 

Sh*t we do to lose 10 grams.


Which brings me to…

5. Health bugs : Say hello to unnecessary tips and advices on how to lose that pound that you don’t want to lose. So, do you walk around lifting your shirt up, or is it a special treat for my eyes the 683rd time over? You look good, and could perhaps be fit, but please wipe that dripping sweat off first. 

I lift tiny weights and pretend to be a badass.

  

6. #Hashtagaddicts : #OMG #Toomanyhastags #icantmakesenseofasingleword #yourhashtagaddictionismessingupmyeyesightandmygrammar #pleasestopandsavehumanity

7. Moral science teachers : I want to thank you for imparting me life lessons with a picture of either your new haircut or a selfie or some crumpled paper on the floor. Everything has a deep meaning to it and I wish I had your insight. I bow to thee.

8. PDA-tors : They inspire me to fall in love, and express my love to my partner, ALL THE TIME. The second when they aren’t indulging in a show of affection, is a wasted second. God forbid if you can tear them apart during group pictures. Nope, sir. I am fine with it, as long as I don’t have a story to tell to a newborn of their conception. None of my close friends do this though and I want them to. Just for kicks.

9. Party animals : Thanks to these guys, I feel like my life is one big bore. How do you have the energy to go to every party, every concert, on every single weekend?! I am a dead zombie who is on the far end of even its zombie life(death?).

I step out once in a blue moon and make sure EVERYONE knows.

10. The Scrapbookers : The true memory makers, who only put pictures from old memory books and send me reeling into nostalgia. Sheesh. Sniff.
 
Now where do I fit? I am the most normal(YES! Believe it!) Instagrammer who puts a giant whirling mix of everything above! Haha! Except, life lessons. I am the last person in the world who should hand out those. Except you, Bhakti, I KNOW EVERYTHING.
I am vain AF, I put selfies when I feel good about myself, I put recipes when I feel like a Masterchef. I put pictures to show where I was on last Friday night, and it totally could be my own living room. I put nostalgic pictures of my buddies when I miss them. Basically, my Instagram accounts have everything under the sun. 🙂

I would perhaps be a PDA-tor too if I had a PDA-worthy person. Just kidding, #NoNopeNever.

6

Take That Chance…

Take that chance,
Play in the rain,
Jump in the puddle,
Open your mouth,
Sip in the water.
 
Take that chance,
She wants to hear it,
Break your code,
Take her hand,
Hold her close.
 
Take that chance,
Run that extra mile,
Don’t check your timing,
Breathe in, breathe out,
Start running again.
 
Take that chance,
Give it a go,
May or may not happen,
Call ’em up,
Just steal a kiss.
 
Take that chance,
Get a Mocha instead of Latte,
Bite into that muffin,
Spoon a bit of Meringue,
Let the conversation flow.
 
Take that chance.
Book that ticket,
Rent a car,
Let the moonlight guide you.
Say hello to the stars.

  

35

The borrowed tag

I have a giant writing block going on and it hurts as much as a pimple does when I hit it accidentally. So, THANK YOU Pepper for putting up this tag. 

*—————————*

What are you wearing?

Black pants, blue top, and a puke colored cardigan.

How tall are you?

In my head am an Amazonian Taylor Swift, in reality, 5’ 4”.

How much do you weigh?

115 lb, 52 kgs.

Any tattoos?

Yep! A paw print and crescent moon entwined by an infinity loop.

Any piercings?

2 piercings on each ear.

Favourite show?

One show that has kept me hooked is Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t care how cheesy or sappy or dramatic it gets, I will still watch it.

In the older ones, FRIENDS!!

Something you miss?

Rather, someone I miss, Moony. Things are fine.

Favourite song?

I am not big on music. Current favorite is Taylor Swift’s album 1989 and Adele’s Hello.

Zodiac sign?

Libra.

Quality you look for in a partner?

If he can make me laugh till my eyes water, he is a keeper. 🙂 If not, get me a 1 carat diamond ring and we could negotiate.

Favourite actor?

It changes. Favorite actor depends on who I am crushing on, at that moment.

Favourite colour?

Pink and blue.

Loud music or soft?

Item songs. 😀 Something I can dance on.

Where do you go when you’re sad?

I used to rent a room, so I would just be in my bed or in my room doing chores or whatever. So, it had to be that area by default.

How long does it take you to shower?

My daily shower takes about 5-7 minutes. Washing hair takes around 20-30 minutes. I wash my hair after coming back from work and gym. I don’t have the time or patience in the morning.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

40 minutes, including shower, hair and makeup. I talk like I am a filmstar. Hair and makeup it seems. The only thing that can upset my schedule and why I have to wake up and hour and 15 minutes before leaving home is my stomach. I am in a love-hate relationship with the pot.

Ever been in a physical fight?

I have hit the xBF.

Turn on?

Laughter, strong and sexy arms, intelligence, street smarts.

Turn off?

NOT TELLING ME THAT THEY LIKE ME ALREADY! Lol, kidding(?) Being too serious, wearing sandals with socks.

Fears?

Parents getting older. Needles. How the F did I get a tattoo?! Ghosts. Losing my job.

Last thing that made you cry?

Saying bye to Hazra and the group, on my 2nd last day in India. Before you yell at me again, Moo, I was a bit drunk!

Last time you said you loved someone?

27 October 2013, at the Los Angeles International Airport.

Last book you read?

Why not me? By Mindy Kaling. She is awesome!

The book you’re currently reading?

I am planning to start The Martian soon.

Last person you talked to?

My boss, Dennis. I offered him some Bakarwadi that he just loves.

The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

A friend, although I wish we were something more. Sigghh.

Place you want to visit?

Too many to list down!

Do you have a crush?

Yes. Aditya Roy Kapoor, thanks to those sinewy arms in the song Pashmina from Fitoor. So hot!. And the last person I texted.

Favourite piece of jewellery?

My Ganpati pendant.

Last song you sang?

‘Blank space’ by Taylor Swift.

*—————————*

Thanks a bunch, Pepper! Whoever wants to take this up, go ahead! 

Ryan Gosling is such a nice person.

26

2016??

It’s 2016 already?I feel like I am hungover. I keep thinking that it is 2015, but I know it’s not and for some reason I still feel thinking its 2014. Like, I definitely have to pause and take a moment to remember what F-ing year is going on!

Also, I just have gotten back from India. I spent around 20 days at home, and it was glorious! Shib got married, another friend Ashwini got married, so Day 1-3 of the trip was spent in dressing up, traveling, and eating wedding food. It was really fun catching up with all old friends and taking too many mad pictures. Ani, thank Sanuj. 🙂

I spent a majority of the trip eating out and spending time with friends. The food was taking such a toll on me, that I was literally popping meds before every meal, but there was no stopping me! I ate loads of Pani-Puris, momos(thanks Moo!), Paneer tikkas, sandwiches, and what not! We even scored a free cake at Barbeque Nation where I took the parents for a dinner last week. I have put on quite a bit, but we shall worry when the time comes. 🙂

Also, I met another blog-friend! I met Bhakti this time, and it was really fun hanging out with her. I used to feel that we have a giant age difference between us, but I did not realize it when we met. Either she is too mature or I am too juvenile; I am inclined to swing towards the latter. Also, it’s totally awesome to give someone career advice and pretend that you know everything. Just kidding B, I DO know everything. Thanks for meeting me Bhakti, and thank you for the awesome gifts. My mom thought those are pudding/Jello packets. Haha. I am going to try them out soon and will let you know if I get mistaken for an 18 year again.

But but, here’s the best part! My parents are here with me!! Yayyy! That was the whole reason for the short trip and my parents traveled to the US along with me yesterday. They are tired, not surprisingly, and are getting used to this whole new world. It was quite funny to see their reactions at the airport and in the flight. It’s going to be fun and quite interesting, the next 5 months. I will try not complaining about my curtailed social life(as if it was super exciting).

PS : A part of my vacation also involved chewing off my nails to receive my H1b transfer on time in India(company decided to change some payroll name at the last minute), being convinced that I was going to get deported, waiting with bated breath to get the visa approval, tracking my Fedex from my attorney with visa documents every hour, stalking the shit out of Pune Fedex facilities and getting the driver’s phone number to meet him on the highway 10 minutes before we left for Mumbai to catch my return flight. I live on the edge, people.

PPS : Wish you all a very happy new year! Trust all are doing great!