Time and again I have mentioned how addicted I am to Social Media. I usually end up sleeping late thanks to endless browsing and pinning on Pinterest or looking up something on Instagram. And if nothing else, Facebook to the rescue! If I had devoted so much time to books during my academic career, I would have been in an Ivy League. Ah well…
The fluff in my head was uber active today morning and cooked up this delish idea of how Social Media would be if they lived amongst us. So, I humanized the ones I know and use and chalked out their traits.
· Facebook : Incessant chatterbox they are. They don’t know what information is too much to share and when to stop. Now, who announces that “Hey! I just pee-ed!” I am just glad they don’t show me a picture of it. They will always tell me what their current location is and with who. What? You want me to stalk you? They have a hard time understanding that reading out their personal diary when you are hanging out as a large group is highly inappropriate. But atleast the whole ‘too talkative’ nature comes into help when they help update the people hanging out with them about some relevant social issues and general awareness. Of course, offending someone or themselves is a side effect.
· Instagram : If you decide to hang out at a cool place with them, get out of the car, meet them and don’t take a selfie right away, they are going to be so pissed! Vanity is their second name. The iPhones are kept completely charged lest the sky manifest itself into striking colors or a rock is placed suitably well next to a leaf. They consider themselves almost professional photographers thanks to bending down at weird angle to take pictures. They are usually philosophical who attach deep meanings to most every day, mundane things. Do not dare to eat your food right away after served and before they are done taking pictures of it at weird angles.
· WordPress : If anyone can beat Facebook at talking, it’s them. You know those people who can speak for an hour about ‘The green chair’? Yep, you know WordPress rather well then. Classic overthinkers, they can whip up a problem in their head and drive themselves nuts with the thought that it is only them who are the most miserable. But they usually are very well researched and knowledgeable. If you are in the market for a new computer/camera/makeup, you can ask them and they will help to get the most bang out of your buck. Some have a great sense of humor and will keep you in splits while you are in their company. But yep, be ready to listen about some topic for an hour at least, because they will not know when to stop! Some will even try to humanize every inanimate thing, what losers.(Ha!) Which brings us to…
· Twitter : They are the exact opposites of WordPress. They are the kings/queens of short and crisp talks and like to keep things moving. Hour long drawls are succinctly expressed by Twitters in 140 words or less. They like to wrap up things fast and if you want an explanation, they will promise to ‘tell you later’ and slink away. It doesn’t help a curious cat like me, but, well… Most of them are sort of up there in social status and fame, so they are your fancy buddies.
· LinkedIn : Extremely career obsessed is one of their traits that stands out. In a group of people, they will be the ones who are most likely to start talking about their jobs and what projects they are currently working on and how their GPA is better than yours. They are always looking for networking opportunities. Some will not hesitate a bit to ask you to refer them to your company even if they met you for the first time, like, 5 seconds back. They don’t want anything to do with friendship, so consider their involvement with you more at a professional front.
· Yelp : I love these fellows! They are my favorite people who don’t eat to live, but live to eat. I can hang out with them for any meal and have a grand time out of it. They know cool places to eat in and out and aren’t afraid of checking new cuisines out. Complete foodies, through and through!
· Google+ : Sigh.
Regina: [referring to Cady’s bracelet] I love it!
Gretchen: So Fetch!
Regina: What is fetch?
Gretchen: Oh, it’s like slang, from… England.
Poor Google+ is our very own Gretchen from Mean Girls, insisting they are cool to fit in. Aww. Don’t worry, it’s not about being cool, it’s about getting things right and one day you will. 😉
· Pinterest : You would always want to hang out at their beautiful homes with flowing drapes and handmade French cookies. They are the loveliest, biggest DIY-ers. The only hitch is they are always broke, thanks to spending $ 50 making a shower gel that could have cost $ 5. But at least they smell like Lavender.
“They consider themselves almost professional photographers thanks to bending down at weird angle to take pictures.” When I read this, I just about choked on my Easter chocolate! Great post. 🙂
LikeLike
Mission accomplished! Thanks! I had only a puny chocolate egg this year. Must go to See’s candies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even though I am an independent, middle-aged woman, my mom still gives me an Easter basket filled with chocolate eggs and bunnies every year. And I still trade with my brother for the stuff we each like best. You’re never too old for candy! What’s See’s?
LikeLike
Aww that’s so sweet! Who cares about independence when Mommy still pampers you! 🙂
See’s candies is an American chain for chocolates and toffees. It’s really good! Cheaper than Godiva. I love their brittles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mmmm…. Brittles…. Can’t wait to hear what candy you get to pamper yourself! 🙂
LikeLike
Soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha spending $50 to make their own shower gel :).. Frankly those DIY’s are never suited for my house..
And hey I don’t bend to click “artistic pictures”. I find that business very amusing 🙂
LikeLike
I am guilty! About both. Lol. I have made some very expensive body scrub only to wash it off in 5 min. Sheesh. And I have almost lied down on floor to click a flower petal in a cool way and captioned it ‘perspective’! Bwahaha!
LikeLike
HAHAHA this cracked me up! Hilarious post 😀 😀
LikeLike
My job’s done! 😀
LikeLike
😂😂😂
The one about clicking pictures of food before eating it😂 If there is anything special that is being cooked at home,my parents know that it won’t be eaten for at least 10 minutes until I get the pictures in every angle AND in a good light! 😂 loved that image at the end the most!
LikeLike
Haha! Yess! It’s specially funny at restaurants where food comes and everyone and their mother whip the phone out!
LikeLike
I heard people even stand on their chairs to get a better picture of the food!!
LikeLike
Oh Lord. It’s still better than fools killing wildlife for selfies with them. Aliens must be looking and thinking we are going back on brain evolution.
LikeLike
People are doing that too?
Yeah. And that they should invade us to save our planet from doom!
LikeLike
Made my weekend morning.. Loved it all the way.. Not to mention I am suffering from SCS(Stay Connected Syndrome :p)
LikeLike
Thanks girl!! Yep! I check FB like every few minutes hoping something new has taken place. But stupid data limit still controls me.
LikeLike
Made me laugh so hard that I almost choked on the lassi I was drinking 😂😂😂
I am guilty to clicking food before eating it!
LikeLike
Did the person next to you get it snorted on? That would be fun. Lol!
Ah, we all are! And it’s such a sight in restaurants. 🙂
LikeLike
This is such a LOL-worthy post 😀 Yelp are my best buddies hands down! You,my dear,have a great and rare gift. Keep it up 🙂
LikeLike
That’s so nice of you! I try. 🙂
I too love Yelp! My buddies and I keep bookmarks on Yelp and cross off new places and cuisines. We love to explore.
LikeLike
Hahaha, i have been spending too much time on Instagram these days…well, i fit into that description of bending at weird angles to take that ‘heavenly’ shot 😛
However, i don’t take pictures when i am eating…that probably makes me not-so-FB-savvy 🙂
LikeLike
Like I said, we all do! It’s a part and parcel of our genes now. The generation in 2100 is going to be born with tilted necks for selfies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha, good one 🙂
LikeLike