Of glasses and the struggles…

I have been wearing glasses since I was 4-5 years old. I have spent an eternity wearing glasses and so I assume I should be comfortable with them. Even beauty was comfortable with the beast after a point of time. I think. I don’t know. What was the story again?

I have been fairly good with my glasses. I never lost a pair, because taking them off and leaving them somewhere would not be an option. I would know instantly, because, blindness. I have broken fewer frames than most kids. Primary reason was that its harder to break glasses in a library than the sports field, where I would hide during P.E. lessons. I did drop my glasses once, staring out of the train window to say bye to my dad, as it picked up speed while going to my Grandma’s home for summer. It was a blind journey and the next few days, till my dad could courier us a new pair. I had to wear a stupid thread connecting the frames and around my neck for quite some time after that. 😦

I started wearing contact lens when I started high school mainly because of a nagging ophthalmologist who wanted me to wear contacts for better correction of my acute myopia. I got the lenses, wore them for the dance competitions for a month and did not touch them again till the end of my high school. My first pair was a total waste. It also got me a considerable amount of yelling from my doctor who said it was not hygienic to wear them once and leave them in the case for months, and all that. Finally I switched to contacts again after I joined college. This time the reason was purely vanity. None of my glass frames look good. Even if I get the trendiest frame, once you put in the prescription glass, they all turn into soda glasses. So not fun. But I don’t have aversion to my glasses. I wore them for exams, I wear them when I am at friends’ place, and if I am running errands, etc. But I don’t wear them to work and I won’t wear them to dates, parties or even going out. Again, vanity.
I do like my glasses a lot because this fabulous piece of object gave me sight and helps me not fall over (more than I do).

But I still, of course, have complains!
 
1. How awesome is it to lay your head on the couch or bed and watch TV! Or simply lay on side and hold up the side of a book to read? Well, I can’t do that! Because, the side of the frame digging in your face and the nose is so not fun.

2. Stepping out of a hot shower, out of an air-conditioned car or getting out of Mumbai airport? Hello foggy glasses and a few moments of utter confusion.

3. Right sized frame is a dream. They are either too tight that they are painfully pinching my ears or too loose that they keep slipping down and I have to either keep pushing them up… which brings me to…

4. Constant nose scrunching! Most of the time, my glasses are kind of loose and I have to scrunch up my nose to be able to atleast look from the top rather than pushing them up, especially when I am cooking or my hands are busy, or I am being simply lazy. To say the least, I look like a pug. I even find myself doing that when I am wearing contacts. It’s like phantom limb syndrome or in my case, phantom glasses syndrome.

5. Glasses, especially the ones with reflective coating, are dirt magnets. Even if I have my hands tied up at the back and I wear freshly cleaned and wiped glasses, they WILL get spotty and dirty within the hour. And seriously, I can’t seem to touch my face or hair without getting fingerprints on them. You would be surprised how nice the world looks after a nice rub-a-dub.

6. I can’t see the sides without turning my head, My peripheral vision sucks.

7. For some reason, a lot of people find glasses fascinating and it was not uncommon to have someone rip them off my nose without asking to try them on. Or, they would keep holding their fingers up “How many fingers are these?!” It took every ounce of will power to not whack the sh*t out of them.

8. You know those cool noise blocking headphones with surround sound effect? Yep? Nope. Glasses and them don’t go together.

9. Now, I am not trying to say I have long eyelashes, because I don’t. But they do get in the way! I can feel them against my glasses so many times while blinking and the problem becomes worse if I wear mascara during the day and put on glasses without taking it off. I won’t even get into the tiny black smudges.

10. How I wish I had teeny-tiny wiper blades on my glasses for the rain. It’s hard to wear contacts when out in the rain, and hard to wear glasses too. What’s a poor, blind girl gotta do!

11. I don’t know if everyone has this issue or not, but I get halos of streetlamps or vehicle headlamps while driving. It is not bad, but it is quite distracting and annoying.

12. I have to think 10 times when I am heading out for adventure sports. The xBF and I had showed up for snorkeling in our glasses and we had to re-schedule because the snorkel goggles would not fit over them. So annoying! Thankfully both of us had extra pair of dailies by a stroke of luck. I wear long term wear lenses actually. I have to think about any sport a gazillion times with respect to vision or lack of it. Even simple activities like swimming is challenging. It’s funny how dumb and clueless I look after I take of my glasses and Shawn or someone has to guide me to not fall over steps till the pool. I cant even tell how many people are in my lane. Haah! I cannot run or work out with glasses too. The frame keeps slipping down my nose and there is a constant danger of them falling off. That has happened.

13. Glasses are not conducive to making out, in my opinion. One person is fine, but if both the parties involved have something sitting on their noses, it’s a problem. What to do? Take them off and make out with a blurry person? Thank you, contacts!

14. No sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses are expensive! And don’t tell me to wear photo-chromatic glasses. Eww.

15. Last but not the least, I will always be the NERD of the group.

Contacts : This does not mean that I love you more than my glasses. I am tired of following a timetable around the duration of my contact lens wear. It is unbelievably annoying to have very dry eyes. I had to suffer through them for almost 8 years before I discovered the magic of re-wetting drops. I can’t get my contacts wet, so I can’t swim in them. It is always a question mark what to wear to the beach or hikes. I have to wear contacts, because I am shallow and vain like that. And also to wear sunglasses. I have to always make sure I have my pair for next 2 years when I visit Pune. Cleaning them is a pain. God forbid if something gets in your eye, even eyelashes. The worst is the general discomfort! Arrrgghhhhh!

(Psst : Dear sweet contact lenses and glasses, please don’t mind the rant above. I can’t thank you both enough, for existing to make my life easier.)

PS: I am sure every contact lens user knows how one eye is not like the other. Damn you, left eye, you!!

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26 thoughts on “Of glasses and the struggles…

  1. Oh, I can sooooo relate to almost all of these! Phantom Glasses Syndrome? I get that in the middle of the night when I’m sitting on the toilet to pee—IN THE DARK!!! And I’m pushing up my imaginary glasses!

    And the rain and fog? Add the bitter cold of a Canadian winter, where you fog up as soon as you go into the house / bus / warm car…. And if you fog up enough and go back outside, you get FROST on your glasses!

    Nobody has ever snatched the glasses off my face, though. And I can prove it because I have no criminal record—and I can GUARANTEE I’d have been arrested for assault if that had happened!

    I gave up on contact lenses many years ago, and I do get prescription sunglasses. I love, love, love my prescription sunglasses!

    Thanks for sharing. You’re so funny. 🙂

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    • My god! Thankfully I have not faced the horrors of frost on my glasses! It sounds like a real problem.
      I have to literally count from 1-50 to make sure I don’t go bat shit crazy on the glass snatcher. It has not happened in a while now because people tend to ask me before they can try my glasses and I say no now wrt fitting. Also, I don’t wear glasses when socializing. (Vain like I said).
      I am worried about the days when I won’t be able to wear contacts any longer. Sigghhhh.
      You are welcome! And thank you for laughing! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha! Oh God I know it’s not funny for you, but it was hilarious for me 🙂 Esp since I have never had glasses, except for a short 3-4 months where I convinced myself that I needed them, and got them for for some .25 power in one eye. And apparently that too got fixed!
    I think (I am not sure, but I think) that I will not be able wear contacts ever, I am so scared of having something in the eye! I see folks and even that scares me 😐 I think I will buy me a pair of nerdy glasses and say they are for the glare from the laptop or something 😀

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    • It has become funny now. Don’t worry! Contacts were so scary when I started. It was so hard. But I got used to them. My mom is like you though. She won’t even let us put drops. Like Rachel from Friends. The doc got mad at her while doing a Glaucoma test!

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  3. I can so relate to a lot of these points PB! The first thing I look for when I wake up is my glasses. I switch between glasses and contacts at home and work. However there have been funny incidents, like I once wore my contact lenses and wore my glasses on them and kept wondering, why is everything so blurry. Took me some time to realize what I had done. 😀

    On another occasion I slept overnight with my lenses on. Realized it only when I saw the box empty when I wanted to put them on. I peered closely into my eye but I couldn’t see the lens. I freaked out and it took quite some effort to get it out of the corner of the eye that it had gone into. 😐

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    • I have done both things! Although I haven’t slept overnight with contacts on, but have taken naps and they become so dry and uncomfortable. And they do get stuck in the corner to make it worse. I am super careful about contacts overnight and if I am going to be, err, out and about, I tell people to make sure I take them out and then sleep. Lol.

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  4. I totally get that. I wear thick frames when I’m reading or on the laptop. I was busy chatting away with my boy friend, with ear phones on, and this big blind spot to my side meant that I didn’t realize my mom was standing right next to me for about 5 mins. Mortifying!

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  5. I’m sorry this is quite hilarious. 😂 Only when i read posts like this I realize i should be so grateful. My poor sister too didn’t inform us and used to go in front to copy stuff from the blackboard in school. Only when we went to the doc for some infection treatment did we come to know about her near sightedness at the age of 9. Since high school it has been contacts and I used to often tease her when she used to ask me to tell her the bus number at the bus stop. She took it all in good humour but I feel so guilty now.

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    • Aww! Same thing happened to me. My class teacher in Std 1 noticed my constant walking and incomplete work and wrote a note to my folks.
      I do love glasses, they give me vision. But such a pain in the behind too!

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  6. oh my God!!!! if its okay, how much is your number? my right eye is -9 & -8.5 for the left one. and same reason for contacts!!! when i was in class 11, doc asked me to wear it so as to stabilize my forever increasing number. it is after starting with contacts did i realized how creepy ppl found me with fat glasses on. even now, in post grad, when i am so comfy with my glasses identity, i get strange looks from classmates in hostel/classes (if i wear them there in a hurry). and i can sooo relate to the issues that come with contacts. how come you were not aware of those ermmm, lubricants for dry eyes? also, i am so panicked about what if i have to buy lenses here in berlin, how much will it cost, would i be able to even afford, and what if i living out of india forever? lol! i am kiddish like that. i am still using lens solutions that i got with me from India, lol. i need to find the german word for it and buy new ones soon! btw, have you considered laser? last year i got to know that it pains and the kind of person that i am, even the pin used for getting haemoglobin tested is scary for me. 😛

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    • Finally I know someone almost as bad as me. I have touched double digits in both eyes. 😦 -12 and -11. No glasses look good and I get so mad at people getting empty frames and wearing them for ‘nerdy chic look’. In my head, it’s like walking with a crutch looking ‘fracture cool’. It’s not the same, but I still get mad. Lol
      You can find Bausch n Lomb and Renu anywhere in pharmacy and dept stores! It’s the same price in India and USA atleast. I use the biotru version now. LASIK is going to be hard for my number. ICL is an option but it’s 3 times the cost here than India. 😦

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      • What the hell is ICL? and i guess i am the only one who doesn’t get mad about ‘how many fingers are these’. i feel that not being able to see the fingers that clearly makes me a unique person 😛 oh, how i wish i could carry off the nerdy chic look with a red lipstick instead of looking like a honey bee on wearing cat eye glasses! 😦

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        • That nerdy chic look is only for fake glasses users, not us soda glass kids. Siggghhhh. ICL is like they put a contact lens inside instead of layering off a cornea layer. Meant for people with thin corneas and big numbers. I can’t remember the full name. It was 30,000 rs per eye in India. It’s $4000 per eye here. 😭

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  7. While the post sounds hilarious I can see where its coming from. I never wore glasses all through my hey days but am forced to use them now that I am in my glorious middle ages!! I agree about the nose scrunching and glass fogging! I also find that the glasses leave a mark on the nose bridge when worn for a long time. I wear mine with string so they go around my neck but that gives a very academic look- something that I am not!!
    I guess one has to just grin and accept this…

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    • The nose markings were an issue for me too. But now I have plastic full frames so those things aren’t there anymore. Also they used to get all gross and stuff. I had a lil toolkit and extra nose pads to replace that I was so lazy about doing.
      I know! God made us bug-eyed and gotta chug through. 😀

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  8. Ha am another member in the soda bottle glasses club 🙂 Only difference is that i love my lenses too. Till a couple of years ago, i had taken to even sleeping with them in the eys with no problems at all. My ophthalmologist nearly took my skin off when she heard it and i now wear glasses as soon i get home like a good gurl. I have been very pleased with the selection from Warby parkers, try karo?

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  9. I’ve been wearing glasses as a teeno and can’t live without them. I relate to this post where the glasses often fall on my nose and jerk down, my eyes go naked. It’s such a fun post. I gotta change my glasses next month and love the funky types:)

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