This cringe-worthy life

You know, I used to look at other kids in my school or college and think of them as total weirdos, while thanking God about how I so was not like that. I used to think of the shitty phase the kids had and being glad that I never did. I had even claimed to my mom that how classy AF I was and not like others. All the while, I was in the top league of weirdos. Hello, cringey life. I have been in splits since I started remembering how awful I was(or I am :-/) and how phase-y I can be. I am sitting here with tears pouring down my face from embarrassment and utter laughter.

 

Cringe life

If we start talking about fashion, I have realized that I flow with trends, but after they have been around for atleast 2 years and are almost passing by, I will join the bandwagon. I am not the totally trendy person you see and neither the ‘shun trend and make my own style’ girl. I am somewhere weirdly in between, very unmemorable. Why am I saying all this? I have so many pictures of wearing stuff after the trend has passed and looking ridiculous in the said clothes. Imagine Henna color checked parallel pants with a matching short jacket. My brain hurts thinking about it. When I was 6-7, we went on a Shimla trip and there is a picture of me wearing a black n white pinstriped blazer style fitted pencil dress with a big black belt and a matching hat. I felt that I was looking mad cool. I want to tear that picture. Imagine a specy, spindly 7 year old with front teeth knocked out posing like she is convinced she is Princess Diana. I am usually on top of fashion theoretically through magazines, articles and blogs but I do not end up buying stuff for a long time. I have a tendency to go ‘Ewww no’ for a lot of things that I see for the first time before it turns into ‘Awesome Unicorn Gorgeousness’. The other day I was out in the mall and realized how everyone was suddenly in bomber jackets in military green color, just like puffer jackets last year. I know that I will not like them now but will crave for them in a couple of months. By the time I own something, it’s on its way out. Thank God for cyclical fashion though. Who is looking cool in those palazzos, aka the old parallels from those days? Haah! Clarification : I don’t have the same parallels now, its physically impossible to fit in those, even if I had those. They were ugly as hell too. But I do fit into a super cute plaid, kilt style skirt that I got for my 10th birthday.

I remember the fun junior college days that people call high school in other parts of the world. I thought I was the coolest cat around and wore red t-shirts pretty much every day with embroidered flared jeans. I had a thing for silver rings and 8 of my fingers had rings on them sourced from Hong Kong lane in Pune. Yep that’s the street of choice for all silver jewelry based needs. I recall having purple flared pants also that had slits going up on my shins. Fergusson college road had the coolest stuff and Kareena Kapoor’s 2000’s colorful fashion was inspirational. Those were also the days when I would trip 800 times a day in my sky high platform shoes. I stopped wearing those once I had a boyfriend who was just a few inches taller at that age(16-ish) and had the realization dawn upon me that walking like a newborn giraffe on stilts was not cool. It’s been flats since that day. I had gone to Goa on a trip with my friends in the last year of undergrad and there is this weird thing that stands out for me. I had gotten a thick, black, beaded bracelet for N, Ani and me and for some reason, I started wearing it on my upper arm. Only after I saw a picture of me with that thing, I realized, a week later, how dumb that looked.

When I got into college, I had a crush on two guys during the first couple of months. Those guys were and will always be way out of my league. But I had a close friend though who was in that group and was absolutely the kind of girl they would hang out with. You get my drift? Like if it was high school(which life always is), she would be on the cool table with those guys and rest of the gang planning a next party, and I would sit with the Harry Potter obsessed kids who sometimes forget to brush their hair and discuss Govinda movies. She is an amazing person and would just somehow fit everywhere actually! So, to sound yo, I started learning about rock music from her. Seriously, this happened and we always laugh about that whenever talk now. This was followed by a phase trying to like Eminem’s rap, thanks to that idiot I was with. I was even writing gothic poetry because loneliness and sadness and depression was just soooooo romantic. It was cool to be sad?! This calmed down only to re-surface a couple of years back when a friend told me that chart topper music is yuck and how Beatles and Pink Floyd are the best. Thankfully, I got over that really quickly and now unabashedly listen to the radio top 40, Taylor Swift, and all Hindi music. The weird pretentious music loving phase did yield to me some sappy loving for some artists including Bryan Adams, whose concert I am going to in July. To be honest, most loving is fueled by nostalgia because I am not majorly into music. I like Pop, and I can’t help it. Actually, I don’t want to help it. Hmmmpphh.

The cringey things I say, will take up reams of paper if I start writing them down. I have a tendency to say ‘Wish you the same’ after someone wishes me ‘Happy Birthday!’ How? Why? I don’t know. Even if I have fought off a Cassowary, swam with sharks and then had a dinner party with gnomes in the garden, if someone asks me how my weekend was, I will blank out and say ‘Eh, alright, relaxed.’ It would be still fine if I left it at that. But the long pause and that look of trying to remember, takes me down. Once a guy was flirting with me and told me that my shoes were cute. I proceeded to say ‘I have flat feet.’ That was the most appropriate response I could come up with?! There was this one month that I was saying ‘Honestly’ all the time as punctuation or response. There was also a phase of ’50 shades of embarrassment/crazy or whatever the heck the feeling was’.

So even if I thought of myself as someone who sailed through without a phase, I know I had more than my fair share to laugh about. I spell out P-H-O-N-Y, and don’t miss the capital letters.I will not even deny that I am going to laugh about what I am right now, a few years down the line.

I can imagine a 40 year old me cringing :

Uggh PB? Seriously you wrote these kind of posts? I can’t believe you were being so sappy! THIS felt funny?? You wore that?!  You sang Taylor Swift all the time?? Well, homegirl is cool, so that’s okay.

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28 thoughts on “This cringe-worthy life

  1. He he he he.. well well oh boy this has brought memories.. wait till you hear about what I use to do..
    I remeber having those flared bell bottoms trousers .. With a little triangle made of a different colour at the bottom. . Doyou get that picture. .

    Sometimes when I see my own pic of childhood I actually hate myself ..

    But now that I think it is true now tooo.. no wonder non of the lovely girls in shool or college wanted to talk to me.. …

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    • Childhood pictures are super embarrassing and worse when the mother decided to show people your classic ones. I want to always crawl under a sofa then.
      Haha! I am sure the girls had their own weird fashion at that time.

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  2. haah yeah Fergusson was famous for that. I remember once I went to Mumbai and got myself some trendy shirts at Colaba. They were damn good ones, designer wala that the seller somehow got from somewhere..yeah, among materials if you are lucky you can get those original ones and back in Pune, a friend remarked Vikram Phadnis design and all. Haha! Yeah we do crazy things in those times. I also had huge crush on Miss Pune and someone else who was outta my league:)

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    • Yep I was into hunting down dupes too thanks to student budget. Not denying that I don’t do that anymore! Haha. I wish I bought more classic pieces than the cute trendy stuff though. I can atleast wear the same longer time than standing out like a clown.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am guilty of buying cheap kurtas on FC, tee and stuffs at Hong Kong lanes..goodies cheap bag at FC u remember the place right before Deccan where line up of stories selling backpack. Btw do you remember the concrete market set up opposite Fergusson..was there for a year and bought few good black shirts, kurtas, jeans and what not for cheap. They were good material and some still there.

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        • There are so many stores! In high school, these 2 tapris bang opposite Roopali restaurant were favs. Then I gradually kind of moved to Wonderland in Camp and Central. Here also I tend to get tops and dresses during sales but I splurge on jeans. I am finicky about good fit and how long they can last. I shop at a huge range of stores. Target, Marshalls, HnM and Forever 21, Banana Republic, Gap. I think you are in US right?

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  3. hahahaha! i started laughing midway. its too funny. hi5! i am not into music either, i mean i am so frog-in-the-well about music that i do not understand what the different genres mean! 😛 but i dont think i tried to play it cool either ever, maybe for a very small part of life? but it was seriously fun to read this one! :*

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    • Hi5! Now I don’t bother what anyone says. I don’t update the music on my iPhone or start the desi radio also. Just too much work. It’s only always the generic radio in car playing American top 40. So I hear the same songs literally 4 times morning and evening. Lol. Don’t care even.

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  4. Haha loved this post! We all go through phases. I have been writing since 7th grade, you know diary and stuff (that my mom very honourably has preserved over the years). I CRINGE when I read all that old stuff, especially from the junior college days when I had just moved into a hostel and I had a lot of time to write about a lot of random things. I literally wrote pages and pages about my crush(es), or people who were irritating me. Ha! I also did my junior college in Pune, so that Hong Kong Lane memory was very vivid for me 😀

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    • Haha! Dude I have some poems that I wrote in junior college n all. I want to burn the pages down. But I start hating every poem I wrote after a month or so. Even on the blog.
      But there was such a shayari phase where I thought I am the master of feelings n stuff. Dear God!
      Yeah, Hong Kong lane was super! I used to always get a bright tomato red backpack from over there. It was sorta trademark. And all the Oshos!

      Liked by 1 person

      • O yea the oshos, in so many colours! I haven’t worn a osho in so long!!

        Haha the poetry. I wrote some too in junior college :p about my new thoughts on friendships forever and crushes.. eww, i wonder if my mom still has them

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  5. hahaha me too! I went through this pseudo goth phase and used to go crazy hunting up stuff in Fashion street, bom. The things I used to end up buying? those badly crafted not-quite-silver pendants of bats/dragon faces hanging on a black thread. Thought i was the cat’s whiskers wearing those *cringe*
    Doesnt help that my parents though (still do, smh) i was so pretty. ugh big soda glasses, bob cut and dangly goth earrings through my teens.
    Like you, i love my pop, hindi songs, item numbers and i can dance to any techno beat 😀
    And yes to Osho chappals and shopping loads at Banan Rep and H&M and Target. Even today!

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    • Yessss! I had so many dangly earrings and thread n pendants! The oxidized metal stuff. That was all the rage back then. Oh goodness! The soda glasses curse is for all of us, eh? Lol. I also remember the starting Kajal days with thick lines that would bleed all over and make me look a panda. Not that’s it’s any better now but atleast I got sense to check it once in a while. I really thought I was mad cool. Eeegggaaawwddd!
      I was told ‘Eww Lady Gaga is bad. You should listen to Beatles’. But tell me how can you not start bobbing your head to ‘Bad Romance’?! And when ‘style by Swift’ comes on, I have to have my car dance party.
      How cute is the stuff at Target! Everytime I go, I get a romper or a top. It’s meant for juniors but well! And I can linger for hours at $1-$3 section. The target near work has the biggest dollar area and I love it! Been to Daiso?

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      • We dont have one in lame east coast. ugh. But ive heard about it and think ill have fun shopping there. Target has toh become the bane of my adult life only men.
        As for T-swift, she’s the bomb. I dont care what anyone says, i love her. And Rihanna! And Lady G! And Maroon 5…you get the drift 🙂

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  6. this post was such a laugh! SO relatable, every year i think back “how could i possibly be so stupid/full of myself” and i know i’m going to feel the same way next year, but at the moment, i feel like i’m doing alright, if that makes sense? such a paradox haha!
    and i can absolutely understand being late on the fashion bandwagon, i mean, i’m finding distressed jeans cool NOW.. it’s been what.. 3 years since they first hit the scene?

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    • Right? I feel like I am killin’ it right now! But a few months down the line I am going to be like, wtf was going on with my head. The phases change and so do our reactions. It’s funny how our minds work. I am going through that about long Jumpsuits! I am obsessed! I had tried this black flowery one a year n half back and had rejected it. Now it haunts me.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Why oh why would you remind me of parallel pants? I thought we were friends?
    I remember having these hideous olive green and white parallel pants with a long kurta with slits on the sides and front, and my parents took me to this garden inside Pune University wearing that. It’s a small garden with a putla of Shivaji maharaj in the middle. And i have pictures of me rolling on the lawn in front of the putla in my parallel pants. Ughh. I also have this one pic in a bright blue tshirt, the blue totally clashes with my skin tone, hair pulled back in a very very tight pony and big red bindi. If anyone ever saw that pic, ill swear to all the old gods and the new, that it was my evil twin sister who died.

    I wonder if people remember others’ cringy moments. If people remember me in those clothes, with that hair and those red hair clips, id never want to face them again.

    You got beaded bracelets for Ani and N and not for me? Hmph. Good luck getting presents from me now.

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    • Good. You don’t even remember the wooden beaded cross that I got for you cuz you were in a cross-phase and had asked for one. Good luck getting anything from ME anymore.
      My parallels were also same weird kichad green. Gobar color I call them.
      I suddenly remembered about a parallel salwar Kurta I got made for a cousin’s wedding after 10th std. Oh god! Pink satin parallel and net zari short Kurta and it was tailored so badly! Yukkkk! I had terrible outfits during the whole wedding ceremonies. Even wore a tasseled belt on purple bell bottoms. I want to hit myself.

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