9

Actions and pro-actions

Of course I have 800 issues with the world and it’s people. Also, these days 800 seems to be my favorite number to describe anything. What annoys me the most is when people do not act on issues they are already aware of, and are completely sure about future problems arising out of those. In my humble(not so much) opinion, I am quite pro-active and take care of most of the things in a timely manner, unless it involves long term life decisions. Then, my head is firmly buried in the sand.

For the uninitiated and my readers from outside India, I belong to the state of Maharashtra from India and we are called Maharashtrian or Marathi. There are a LOT of communities in India and almost all have different cultures unique to them. Weddings in different communities also involve unique rituals and customs. There is a ritual in Marathi weddings where the groom’s mother sits in between the couple and holds out a mirror where they see a reflection of the trio. And then after that(or before, not entirely sure) she will use a comb to lightly do the bride’s hair(lightly because she doesn’t want the bride to flip out by ruining the elaborate and expensive hairstyle). Every Marathi wedding has these rituals and everyone knows what’s coming. Yet, the mirror and the comb are the last things to be bought during wedding preparations, almost as an afterthought. Due to that, they get the ugliest comb and mirror, from roadside vendors, that are made out of cheap plastic in garish colors like bright pink, green, yellow, brown. Aaargggh! Way to ruin the pictures! If I ever get married, an intricately made comb and mirror is going to be a part of the first set of purchase!

I get uncomfortable with indecisive and weak willed people with respect to food. My first issue is their lack of will power which extends across their personality rather than their food habits, but for the sake of the topic, I will restrict myself to diets. I was talking to a friend the other day and he commented that he went on a diet to bring his cholesterol in control and reduce weight. Then he told me how he was out of groceries since a couple of days, and had to eat $0.49 Ramen for lunch and dinner. My question was why would he not go and replenish his refrigerator and pantry on time when he knew he was going to be on a diet. Why react when he could have pro-acted on the choice he had made? He knew his food chart, and his plan. I got further annoyed when he said that he did get groceries, but not enough, because he thought he will go back within the next couple of days to the store. Sheesh! And we are talking about a guy who rarely goes to the grocery store more than once a month and then eats a bag of Lays for dinner. Everyone goes through lazy grocery days, but when it is a habit, there is a problem.

Airports are stressful, intimidating(with the TSA and all that) and a place where you have to be on top of your time! When I get into the line for security, I start checking my pockets and put the phone in my handbag. Next, I take my belt off and put it in the handbag as well. I try wearing slide-off shoes like Toms or Bobs to get in and out of them quickly. If I am wearing boots, I unzip them in the line, ready to take them off right away. And then, when I am almost at the security conveyor belt, I am usually stuck behind someone who has shoes with elaborate fasteners, a jacket with more buttons than my entire wardrobe put together, enough necklaces to put 2 Chainz to shame, and to annoy me further, bracelets, bangles and watches. Then at the body check area, they will go “Whoops! My phone!” Enough said!

There are so many, many more things that bother me, but I don’t want to elaborate anymore because I want y’all to think of me as a pink unicorn who walks in a cloud of lavender. But the gist is, if there is something you know that HAS to be done, PLAN AHEAD! You may be totally chilled out, but my blood pressure is at stake(for no reason). And in a teeny, tiny way, it may prove useful to you too. 

16

How to conquer your (tiny)fears…

Do you ever feel totally freaked out by completely normal things that have no reason to be afraid of? Yes? YES? I feel you guys! I go through some situations day in, and day out where I come across seemingly normal things, panic, cry and then calm down and tackle that. Nope, I am not talking about love, relationships, life. Those are unconquerable monsters and we shall leave them there. These are some of the things I have developed a level of comfort with. I have developed small ways to tackle my fears and let me nudge you in the right direction..

Phones : Do you ever feel that your heart jumps when your phone rings? Are you the kind of a person who will actually let it ring rather than answer, and then call back? Does your heart flutter when you are making a call? (Do I sound like one of the those TV Skymall people?) Ani very well knows how scary phone calls are for me and how nervous calling anyone would make me. It is simple to deal with it. Don’t answer. If it’s an unknown number and important, it will go to voicemail. If it’s known, it’s your judgement if you want to take 3-5 business days to call back or text (so much easier!) Meanwhile, turn off the blue ticks on your Whatsapp.

Alcohol: It still remains one of the most unpredictable things I deal with. One is a teaspoon, two can be the Pacific Ocean. Yes, that has happened. If you do want to drink, take it easy. There is no need to glug anything down. A happy high is always better than being sloppy drunk, for you as well as your company. I am also beyond that age where any drinking had to be hardcore. Find out what you like, if you really do want to be a social drinker, and stick to that while exploring in moderation. And keep your phone away, trust me.

Packing for trips: I was a roll and throw kinda gal till I had two amazing packers(not Green Bay, sad joke) around me. But when I could no longer use the services of both of them(my dad and the xBF), I had to take things into my own hands, quite literally. Packing overwhelms me to the point of tears. So I make lists, gather everything on my bed, and start going at it one by one. I still am a massive over-packer (“Oooh, what if I do want to wear this top but I don’t have it!”) but atleast I am efficient now.

Makeup: I started out with concealer when my face had more red blotches than craters on the moon and I realized how intimidating it all is! But then I started reading blogs, and I was very fascinated by beauty gurus on youtube. I like the artistic side of it, and I don’t find it scary anymore. Unless we are talking about 800 layers like the Kardashians. Nope. So, if you want to dabble with makeup, just watch the videos, and practice on yourself. Nothing is better than being in PJs and watching Netflix with a perfect winged eyeliner, well, except being out and about with that winged eyeliner.

Selfies and pictures: Before I begin, I need to put this out, again. If you take my picture and do not show me a preview, you are dead to me. Anyhoo, if you feel uncomfortable at the thought of getting pictures taken, don’t even look at the camera. Just look at the person taking the pictures and smile as if they are nougat candy dripping in chocolate. Most importantly, remember to stay still because it’s a picture and not a video. I have way too many fidgety friends and I just want to ‘Petrificus Totalus’ them.

Babies: Babies are probably the most intimidating things around that scream ‘adulthood’. How ironic is that! I used to be freaked out by babies and was convinced that I don’t know how to actually handle them. But I realized it isn’t that bad. You can talk to them like they are normal people. They most likely can’t tell the difference anyways. If you are scared of holding them, it will be good for you to know that they are actually quite resilient. Like, don’t throw them around WWE style, but you can hold them quite normally too. They are squishy, but not too delicate. Nature has intended them to be squeezed out, swung around and to survive most bumps and bruises.

It’s okay to be scared and confused. You don’t even have to overcome those fears. Just learn to live through them. Now excuse me while I call my mom. That’s scary for a whole another reason, though.