12

Dating Tales : Boy 4 : Date 1

A lot of people have been asking me to chronicle more dates or setups that are going on in my life. I feel extremely sad to disappoint you all, and myself, that there aren’t a lot of those things going on even now. At this juncture, the past is out of the window, but it takes all the effort to not be a 3 year old who says ‘eww’ and blushes when someone mentions a boy.

I have spoken to a few people, and met 3 so far. The first was depressing, with his hypothetical question and declaration that he may move back at any point to India and he doesn’t mind living in a one bedroom apartment with his parents. I was too stunned the whole time to react and he took that as me being high. Yes, he asked me that. And I was not, I promise.

The second one went alright, but the dude got back with his girlfriend, with both of us clear after the first date itself that we were better friends than as a couple.

The third, was a bit of a basketcase when it came to communication and definitely needs a mention here.

So, I came across this guy and let’s call him Mr. Y. He was from a town close to my city back in India but he went to college in my city before moving to US for his grad school and work. He is an IT guy and he definitely was the kind who studied all his life, and aspires to work for the Silicon Valley bigwigs. He told me within a few moments of the date that he is getting interview calls already from Facebook and Google. I did not feel like telling him that they call literally every techie in California, with a lot of my friends actually succeeding the interview rounds. Anyhow, here goes the timeline of our exchanges.

Saturday was when we started texting each other and it was a short exchange of 3-4 texts where he confirmed to call on the next Tuesday at 7.30 pm. It sounded more like a corporate meeting scheduling than a getting to know each other conversation.

Tuesday, he texted at 7.30 pm to check my availability to answer the damn call. I called him back right away and we spoke for 20 min, where there were really long pauses and I could hear a very slow and sad background music that could exist in that part of my biopic if ever made. Towards the end of that call, we agreed to text on Friday to confirm a spot to meet on Saturday for a date.

Friday evening arrived, with clockwork precision, Mr. Y texted and asked if a Starbucks would be fine. I asked if he would like to go to some other coffee shop, and that I had a few nice places on my Yelp list. We decided on Portola in Costa Mesa because it is adorable with it’s industrial interiors and I have always wanted to go there.

Saturday afternoon, we met at the coffee shop, talked for around an hour, and yet I left from there feeling like I did not know him AT ALL! The only recall value was how nice my coffee was, he liked NBA, and he had a Scuba license that he told me 3 times about. My impression of him was a vanilla software techie, with a Scuba diving license. One thing irked me big time was the way he was pronouncing my city’s name. It bothered me way more than it should have! We left the cafe after telling each other that we’ll text and stay in touch and see how it goes from thereon.

10 day later, until Tuesday, I saw no message or call from him. I was sort of mad at him for not even sending a polite text like it was nice seeing you, or something sweet. So, in all my anger and ego, I texted him that since we have had no communication with each other, we may as well end it here. My outlook is, if either of us would have felt inclined to meet again, we would have texted.

On Wednesday, Mr. Y replied apologizing for a late reply. His reason was that he was unsure of what to reply because he thought the meeting was great and he was going to suggest to meet a few more times. I was so confused! Because at what point did he think that I knew about him wanting to meet more! Anyways, I decided to be nice and offered to meet again and give him a second chance. And I waited.

Until another 10 days later, on Saturday again. I swallowed my pride and I messaged him only to find out that he was in San Jose with his friends. I talked about food(because that’s my fav topic) for a few minutes and told him that I was running the St. Paddy’s 5k like every year the next day, Sunday.

Monday, he messaged asking how my run was. I said that it was very fun and I had a great time with my friends. He said ‘nice.’ That was it. Those were our last sentences to each other. It has been more than a month.

Such a lack of attention is a turnoff for this princess. I don’t understand. There were 20 messages to each other in a span of 1.5 months almost. Is he still thinking that we got along very well, and has he assumed we will be meeting more? Only God and Mr. Y know!

 

6

Zip it up

#Thingsnottosayinaworkplace:

“Dont let her talk in the meetings, She talks too much.” “Muzzle her.” “Or shut her in a room. Hahahaha”

“I bet she is dyslexic.” ” I wont be surprised. Haha.”

“You are so gay.”

“You should get married. Women should get maaried early. It is better for their bodies.”

“Women are too sensitive these days.”

“Be a man, grow some b*lls.”

“Haha you are a bald, short guy. Haha.”

“*Snatching and speaking into a friend’s phone, to his GF* You should come back soon! He is starting to h*mp my leg now after the tables.”

“He was running like a girl.”

“So whiny, turning into a woman.”
“Women are suitable for phone jobs because their voices are inviting.”

“You look hot. I would do you.”

Gentlemen and Ladies,

I have heard most of these personally, around me. This goes beyond gender, age and status. It is 2017. We are well into the 21st century where we don’t even need to prove the need for equality. So lets break the good old boys thing and the ‘boys will be boys’ excuse and let’s learn to be respectable and decent human beings. Don’t let the Bill O’Reillys of the world win. Let’s move past the standard ‘shove it under the carpet till the world notices the stench’ and be proactive. 

So putting this politely, let’s grow some spines.

6

Of being a p*tty mouth…

This post is not for underage kids, although I seriously question if kids these days even sit down to read anything while they are busy with their BAEs and YOLOs.

F*ck is a four letter word and not a three letter + asterisk word. Profound thought right? (For the curious, I use the asterisk, not because I feel shy of using these words, but to prevent pervs from landing on my page.) It has been a part of my vocabulary like clockwork as soon as I entered high school. I still was a good girl when I got into junior high, but by the end of it, I knew many more such fun words. My speech was still relatively clearer when I started college. Enter my friend AM, and the F word was rolling off my tongue with surprising ease. Since then, I have struggled hard to keep the usage of such slang to a minimum, but alas, the damage has been done.

My first memory of cuss words, are through my uncle(dad’s brother). He has no control over his tongue, or over that bottle of alcohol, for that matter. He would cuss like no tomorrow and the little me would gaze at him in part amazement and part disgust. He used Hindi swear words too which just have a tendency to leave a worse impression on me for whatever reason. Maybe I am an elitist in my head, I don’t know.

My father has always been very constrained about using cuss words around me and has lost control very rarely. Some of the times have been India-Pakistan cricket matches where the excitement is generously peppered with slightly milder version of cussing than my uncle’s. Another moment that I remember distinctly was the time my dad and I were at a gas station and the attendant was trying to cheat my dad into paying more money. I think I was in high school then. While driving away, in the car, my dad said a particular word that was in Marathi(my mother tongue) and that was the first time I had ever heard it. I giggled and asked him the meaning, and threatened to tell my mom if he refused. Very sheepishly, he answered, “Female reproductive part…” and shushed me after that. I had fits of laughter the whole way home and obviously I relayed the incident right away to my amused mom.

I have definitely struggled all these years to not utter the F-word in front of my parents. But after I started working, frustration is often vented out to my parents and nothing helps me convey my feelings better than calling some particular people F-ing morons. They have been surprisingly okay about it, but do ‘ahhemmm’ a bit if my swearing goes out of control. An occasional thwack on the head helps too. I try everything in my power to not use these words around kids. They are going to be exposed to bad words at school later anyways, but I don’t want to be the person who polluted their seemingly innocent minds and vocabulary. I don’t even want to be a part of the conversation where after my careless utterance, they would want to know the meaning. Also just generally, I would like to clean up my language a bit more. Hearing people use swear words like punctuation, for seemingly no reason, has started to make me cringe. Heck, I cant maintain conversation with some people who obviously think that swear words are the ‘in thing’. I cant watch a lot of TV shows that have free flowing abuses. I have trouble reading and enjoying articles with too much slang.  It’s just a general preference that has become more nuanced with age, like enjoying Planet Earth over MTV Roadies.

But unfortunately, the feelings conveyed through ‘That F*ck@ll pig’ are still way more satisfying than ‘That terrible person’.