Have you heard about the new Doritos chips, specifically meant for ladies? If not, you must be living under a rock. Or have an actual life, with important things to do and massive respect to you. Me? I am just on my couch (it’s rather nice!), watching tv (a bit, fine!), and not eating the said chips (the flavor of the next three years is cheeto.) I am still thinking how in the world did Indra Nooyi say all this? So, to keep up with this brilliantly bullsh*t new wave of introducing products specifically for females, I have a few suggestions.
- Beer bottles: I personally find holding a drippy beer bottle tedious, with my pinky finger sticking out. If only they would make special pink beer bottles that I could hold with just my fingers(only 3, mind you), then chugging and burping would be a lot more pleasurable.
- Calculators: I use a Casio scientific calculator, day in and day out, for my work. But sometimes the screen is too grey for my mood and liking. I would like it to be bigger, so my eyes wont strain and get wrinkles.
- Headphones: Headphones or earbuds are a joke for my dainty ears. They either keep slipping or hurt my ears after a few minutes. And the worst part is them tugging at my earrings. I would want some robust earbuds that may pass through like, hoops, so they look pretty while being functional. I am talking about jewelry with audio, yo!
- Men’s jeans: No, I understand there are women’s jeans in the market. Hear me out. I want men’s jeans to have that ONE extra pocket to hold girls’ phones. Everyone knows about the lack of functional pockets in our outfits, and I am tired of men complaining about ‘no more space’. Phooey!
- Pull up bars: Those dumb pull up bars at the gym are way too high and are meant for stupid thick-skinned hands. I can’t afford my soft as baby’s bottom palms to get calluses and my upper arms to get flabs. A lower bar, with a nice pink foam layer would be appreciated.
- Key Rings: I need my grocery discount card, library card, gym card, one trinket and one purple foofie-ball attached to the car key. Umm, can I have a bigger key ring, please?
- Swiss army knives: Well, they are very handy and super useful in any situation. But they are missing two very essential items. One, a tiny razor, for smooth legs needed urgently for those cold nights out camping(ahem!) and a teeny bottle of eyelash glue.
- Car turn signal indicators: Oh my gosh, someone needs to connect these to brains for instant telepathy. Thinking of switching lanes or turning? They start instantly! Whatta world that would be!
Hulk angry!
Some are indeed worthy of introduction!
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Haha! I should perhaps patent. A blog post counts as evidence, no?
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It sure does 🙂
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That’s a cool list!
Jewellery with audio sounds truly patent worthy 😉
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Haha yeah.
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