Wanted: Very well educated, very high up in the medical field, cultured, extremely sexist, Obamacare opposer, self absorbed douche, humblebrag, homophobic Indian man.
Do not suggest a place, and then go back on it 5 times, forcing the girl to put her foot down on the pre-decided place.
- If she says, she is okay not drinking and prefers to not have alcohol on weekdays, do not respond with “C’mon, dont be so old!”
- Do not keep bitching about the parking situation. She f*ing walked a mile after parking her car, whereas, you drove around for 10 minutes, and parked right in front of the cafe. Also, while walking her to her car, dont be snarky about her parking far away. It is f*ing Little Italy! No easy parking!
- Do not keep talking only about yourself, and do realize EVERYONE is working hard and has a respectable job.
- Do not go ‘but that’s easy’ when she tells you about her friends being physical therapists, or orthodontists, etc. We get it that you had lots more to do, but dont be such a loser.
- Do not say something stupid about same-s*x relationships and then follow it with ‘Not that I have a problem’ with a sarcastic laugh. You aren’t Seinfeld.
- Do not ask more than 5 questions to the server about the menu. Do not ask him to explain the ENTIRE menu. Do not go over EVERY drink, specially when her food has arrived and has been waiting for 5 minutes getting cold.
- Do not give a speech on Obamacare for 20 minutes, and do pay attention when her eyes glaze over.
- Do not say these words: Ah well, I shouldnt say this, usually girls are Hillary supporters *Sarcastic laugh*
- Just dont be an a**h#le, okay?