My first-world coffee problems

I have been having the darnest luck with coffees since some time.

One of my favorite weekend things to do, is to grab a nice cuppa, slightly on the fancier side. Pre-covid, I used to look forward to ordering a refillable hot coffee, or a piping cute cappuccino, or some delectable iced latte. I used to enjoy going out for brunch, poring over the menu for the best pancakes or waffles, and some huevos rancheros and then top off my order with ‘and some coffee, please, cream and sugar, thank you!’ It made me feel….fancy. If you are a regular reader, you will know that I am the queen, err, princess of pretention. If you are a new reader, you will realize it once you read a few of my other posts.

Post-covid, I still look forward to stepping out of my home on weekends, go to the local coffee shop with a perfectly Instagramable décor for my take-out, and to the adjoining local plant nursery. When in the mood, I walk a bit further away to some of the town’s best lil shops. I happen to live in the most walkable area of town teeming with adorable cafes and bars.

Since a couple of months, I have been doing a really bad job of a very simple thing. Ordering all sorts of wrong coffee, and not learning from it. It has not just been setting me off quite a few $$, but also really hurting my pretentious lil ego.

A few months ago, I went to the doctor’s clinic that happened to be close to the best dessert place in town and right next to it was a cute cafe. I popped in and started studying the menu. As soon as the barista appeared in front of me, I lost all my composure and instantly became a bit panicked. I ended up ordering a hot brew(the same for Mr. PB, always) and in my hurry to not disappoint the barista, I said Cappuccino. And when I picked up my ready order, it was the tiniest paper cup ever. I made a mental note with a lot of Fffffffffs thrown in as punctuation, to never order a capuccino to-go. It just is not cost-effective.

Then, a couple weeks later, I walked up to a nice shop a few blocks away. It was 1.50 pm and the shop closes at 2 pm. I ordered the usual, and in another panicky setting, I ordered a Mint Mocha, completely forgetting that it was listed under the cappuccino section. Yep, another over-priced, tiny cup wonder.

Last week, some of our bubble-friends and us, drove up to the snowy mountains, east of San Diego to have a fun time in the snow. While coming back, we decided to stop at a Starbucks. I went in and started browsing the menu. I had almost made up my mind, when I realized that I had no funds in my Starbucks card! So, in my lil panicky situation to refill my card with money and my turn to order coming closer, I turned to my friend for a suggestion. She innocently suggested an almond milk seasonal, while actually saying ‘but it’s almond milk, I don’t know if you ‘d like it’. And what did I do? I ordered it, tasted it, hated it, and wasted it!

Yesterday, post a long hike, we stopped at another local favorite(I had gone on a date with some guy here, likely catalogued in my Dating Tales!) I had just spent 1000 calories per my Fitbit and was feeling quite a bit of accomplishment. But I chose to ruin it with an ultra sweet, another panicked, drive through order. One sip of it felt like 500 calories, and soon, I destroyed any calorie deficit I was hoping to achieve on that fine Saturday. I always decide to order ‘less sugar’ and I always forget about it.

TODAY! I hopped back into the neighborhood café, only to mistakenly order a hot rose-vanilla latte, instead of an iced one(as I prefer!) What’s wrong with a hot one, you ask? Well, I have bought a large batch of their syrup which allows me to make the hot coffee at home for a quarter of the price every time! It’s the iced brew that I favor and that I consider my small luxury.

I feel really sad, and feel like drowning myself in the small puddle of coffee at the top of the lid. That is my caffeine equivalent to ‘chullubhar paani’. Thank you for letting me rant about these level one first-world issues that are plaguing my life currently. We hope to bounce back soon, with a steaming mornin’ joe that will once again bring peace back into my life.

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