6

A tragedy called ‘the college diet’.

My buddy at work is sick. He has something that I will not mention, but it is because of his terrible diet, complete lack of physical activities and him thinking that he is an invincible 24 year old. I have already given him earfuls about how he is ruining his health by giving him my own examples from my early days in USA.

Continuing with the nostalgia from my SDSU days, I had a trip laughing my glutes off about some of the weird habits I had developed in year 1. Obviously, I was away from home, and had to make all my decisions myself, that included lifestyle choices. Add to that the facts that I was supremely lazy, loved sleeping, and was practically jobless, broke, and had classes on alternate evenings at night. Things were okay in Lonavala, because the college mess/cafeteria was really good and provided healthy food. I had developed a very weird day cycle for myself. I would sleep at 3-4 am and wake up by 1-2 pm everyday. This continued for a while till I got a Grader position finally. I bucked up and started going to school at 10 am even if I had nothing to do there. I would simply sit in the library and work on my assignments or watch shows when I had nothing to do. There was this nice secluded booth that I preferred, where I could eat my lunch in peace.

Speaking of my lunch, it usually looked like cat food. I barely got a month to learn cooking before I moved away from home and my food of choice was Khichdi(rice-lentil stew). I would make as much as my pressure cooker would allow and put it in tupperwares and refrigerate it. Anyone who makes khichdi, knows that it is disgusting even after an hour, so please use your imagination to think what 2 day old khichdi could be like. Or dont.

I had totally failed to learn how to make roti/paratha(indian bread like tortilla) while at home, and I was left to my own devices. I had tried tortillas from the store and ready-to-make roti, but something about the preservative smell really grossed me out. It is not an easy task when making the dough, rolling it and cooking it is involved. So I would make around 10 paratha at once that would be enough for 3 meals, and freeze them. That had to be the worst idea ever because they would get insanely hard and crispy flatbread like when reheated. Abhi used to laugh at my parathas and still remembers the crumbly mess I would make while eating them. I gave up pretty soon, and switched to bread instead.

I was eating in the worst possible ways. I would eat milk poha for dinner(Abhi remembers that as well and never fails to make fun of me for that, rightly so). I would skip lunches and eat a giant meal of rice with a variation of lentil-potato curry made by whichever roommate’s turn that night was. I had forgotten about the concept of breakfast. I would sometimes simply have coldstone creamery’s strawberry cheesecake icecream for dinner.

All this lead to my amazing metabolism from my teenage years breaking down completely, and I had invariably packed on an extra 25 lbs. My face looked ridiculous, I got wayyyy curvier and I was huffing-puffing if I had to walk another 10 minutes or climb another flight of stairs. Finally, it hit me that I was no longer fit. That’s when I decided enough was enough. That, and vanity. I tossed out the terrible eating habits, started including breakfast and a snack in my diet, switched to green leafy salads for lunch and cut down my dinner portion to the right size. I still was overloading on carbs, so I started walking to school which was a good 2 mile away, and joined the SDSU gym. That’s where the health bug bit me. Things are okay now. I still over-indulge, but maintain some discipline during the week, and I work out. I am happy where I am with respect to health. *Touchwood*

It is hard. It is difficult when you are thrown into the unknown when you leave home to reach for your dreams. We have all lived such sheltered lives, that it is so easy to forget what is important. Everybody tells you to study hard, be successful, be good, but your own body gets forgotten. Assignments, jobs, commutes pile up, and health and fitness become secondary. Sleep becomes a nuisance and black coffee becomes our best friend.

So dear Mr. Chia, unless you want to be fed with a tube for the rest of your life, get your running shoes out, and stow away all your instant ramen packets. Get on it!

Auntie PB, signing off!

 

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16

Assertion

This is one quality that doesn’t come easily to me. If you know me, you would know that I am extremely non-confrontational, as detailed in my stories about my ex-roommates, xBF’s family(where it took me a long time to finally express my desires), and some issues with ex managers and professors. If I have to be in a position where I must speak and ask for what I deserve, you will for sure find my neck going red and all bothered. I also have a tendency to procrastinate when it comes to making decisions, from picking a place to eat, to a job change. Not the best sight for a strong, confident woman! But somehow, I manage to cover the front up with my raised eyebrows(it’s a thing) and clear enunciation. No wonder I did well in college vivas and have a 100% interview success rate. I could fake it!

My close friend is going through similar challenges at work, and she is gearing up to make herself heard loud and clear. While we strategize for that, we also have to make sure we cut through some extra mental barriers with us being young, non-American, mechanical engineers who should get the respect they deserve and to be seen as hard working people irrespective of age, gender or nationality.

When I started as a Research Assistant in the 2nd semester of my Master’s, I knew that the projects were sponsored by one of the Top 10 companies and my peers were being paid. But my professor didn’t talk to me about it and so I let it go, and continued with my on campus jobs. The time spent in meeting those 20 work-hours a week was eating into my research time. But there was no way I could let the jobs go, since I was supporting my living and school expenses and I did not want to ask for any more funds from my parents. Then we reached a point after 1.5 years where this girl Yoyo and me, were the only unpaid RAs and my buddy Brian kept pushing us to ask for the assistant-ship. I had a block in my mind convinced that if he felt I deserved it, he would have offered. Finally, after Brian physically dragged me and pushed me to our Professor’s office, I asked for pay to cut one of the jobs off. And his response? Yeah, just go and fill out the paperwork and he gave me the location of the HR department! That was it! I kicked myself for wasting 1.5 years! If only I had asked sooner…

At my previous company, I had DC, my mentor, watching my back. He made sure I got good raises, even if it meant simply reaching the recommended wage per the US labor department. But as soon as the responsibility moved to the Engineering Manager post DC’s part time and then full time retirement, we all got stuck with a 3.5% annual raise, with some fun politics involved with the all-boys club. So when I got my offer letter from my new company, and I got offered the exact salary as my current job, I knew I had to negotiate to justify my switch and moving to San Diego. So out came my recent raise, calculator, salary.com charts, immigration expenses and I asked for something in the middle of the graph. As soon as I hit ‘send’, I broke into a ball of sweat and with a dozen ‘oh shit!’ thrown in with my dad laughing in the background. I got a reply the very next day, with an acceptance and a revised offer letter, and I could not believe it! Thank Goodness I could do it over email and not on the phone. Negotiating my pay has to be the coolest thing I have done, specially considering the type of person I am.

There have been countless meetings where I have been interrupted, spoken over, man-splained, and the only thing that keeps me going is the way I manage to say, ‘I would not do it that way and that is my professional opinion’. I am humble, polite, and I am not afraid of accepting mistakes and learning. I consider these to be my strengths and I have to keep reminding myself that anyone treating these as my weaknesses, will have to be dealt with the previously mentioned raised brows.

To anyone, who is feeling that they aren’t being heard and respected for their power, know that you aren’t alone in feeling that way. All you have to do is make sure that you roar louder and stronger. Roll back your shoulders, raise your chin, and go do your thing!

Superwoman
18

New and Fresh as a Desi

*Desi = Colloquial word for someone from the Indian sub-continent.

I was transferring some pictures to my hard drive last night, and I felt like visiting those days back. Oh boy! I could see how my weight and roundness of my face has fluctuated from 2009 to 2018. I saw so many clothes in my pictures that have been donated away, that I loved, that I hated. I wore flared jeans! Of course the xBF featured prominently and so did Abhi, and I felt pangs of intense nostalgia and some pain(of totally different kinds).

There is a certain charm about coming to the US for the first time as a naive student. This extends to going anywhere abroad, but I speak for ‘Murica because, ah well, I came here. The first few days are very interesting when you figure out how everything is exact opposite to India, how quiet the cities and towns are, and how your clothes stand out in a very stripey-collared-shirts way. I remembered how starry eyed I was when I landed in San Diego! It was, just, so different! And eventually I realized that it is way different from any other city in the USA also. Free, liberal, culturally open, and so hippie! It was like breathing in a different, fresher kind of air, but with the same essence that Pune had. Those were exciting times. Trying to learn how to live alone, and navigating through intense emotional drama, and then feeling the first flutters of infatuation post India days.

I made my first non-Indian friend on the very first day of class, who is still one of my closest friends. The group from school(lab and associated friends) has stuck together through Thursday game nights, brewery sessions, camping weekends, dance nights, and now wedding shenanigans. They were my true representation of the whole ‘SDSU being a party school’ thing. I still get asked if I studied anything because of SDSU’s reputation and my answer has 3 points. 1. I was in grad school. 2. My major was Mechanical Engineering. 3. I am a true and highly stereotypical Desi. NOBODY invited us! I totally exaggerate. I had a lot of firsts with these guys that I can never forget, and they make sure that I don’t!

Yet, at every point, I felt that I did not fit. I just didnt mix in, and I still feel the same. With my nutty behavior, an accent where asking for water is a royal pain, my forever confused sense of style, overly frizzy hair, stuff that blurts out from my mouth, I still feel that I stand out as super Desi. But that IS the best part! I get to stand out! I still have a sense of belonging to my country and culture, while learning something new everyday about different countries. I get to retain my Desi-ness while I continue my explorations. How many people from other countries can say that?! And how many people from India can claim to call two countries home? We are the lot that gets the best of both the worlds! In my best buddy Adam’s exact words, I am weird and basic as hell, but yet they love me!

Cultural assimilation is a beautiful thing, but so is, standing out. Here’s a toast to all the self described nuts who feel like they belong, even when they don’t! Let the paradox live and thrive!

9

When furry friends turn into furry foes…

Animals can stink too…

How many times have you gone ahead thinking that the animal is going to be a perfectly cute fluffy thing, when it decided that it hates you? For people generally afraid, it is going to be an everyday thing perhaps, but for people who live for the furry ones, it’s a nightmare. Recently, there was a talk about a flight attendant refusing an emotional support peacock’s entry into the flight. Umm, since when has a bird in closed spaces been a source of comfort? Also, peacocks are assh*les.

You guys may or may not know this, but I am mortally afraid of cows. It has been my lifelong fear that a cow is going to maul me, or a bull is going to sear it’s horns through me like sheesh kabab. Every summer vacation was spent in Jaipur, Rajasthan and it had an unnaturally high number of cows and bulls roaming the streets. The bulls looked specially vicious with dark circles, the big hump and really sharp horns. somehow they looked permanently angry to me. the cows are big too, with their giant staring eyes and they do not put me at ease in any way. We have even witnessed bull fights with bikes and scooters tumbling everywhere. I was a teary, snotty mess who just wanted to get away. I also totally believed in the lore that cows and bulls hated the color red. I would cry and cry if my mom made me wear red dresses. In my defense, I was under 10(fine, under 12) years old. But the scars are still etched in my memories.

I remember when I was 6 and we lived in New Delhi, there was a tree in front of our terrace. My dad and mom would enjoy their morning tea by the balcony railing, looking out. But that soon stopped for at least a few months. The reason? My dad pointed his finger at a crow nest to show my mom some newly laid eggs. The crows decided that my poor dad meant every kind of harm possible, and would attack every time he ventured out. Even while coming home from outside, my dad had to put his briefcase or newspaper on top of his head and practically sprint inside. Something similar happened to my buddy when the xbf, me, and our friends were talking a walk at Central Park, New York City. Our friend was an amateur photographer. While walking he spotted a few birds up a tree and decided to take some pictures. While he was taking pictures, we suddenly heard a bunch of swooping sounds and saw a tiny bird going straight at him in a very Angry Birds like way! We ran as fast as we could, away from the tree! Our buddy saw the bird coming straight at him through the lens, but he got some great shots! A peacock has done the same to me at San Diego zoo. I was taking it’s pictures, and then suddenly it’s coming wayyyy closer!

Now y’all know my stance that dogs can do no wrong. But I will sneak in a tiny story about this satan’s spawn that was born in the form of my a Pomeranian. His name was Bruno and he belonged to my mom’s sister’s family, in Jaipur. That dog had bitten every member of his own family, and extended, and some more people. All the bitten people only received a tetanus injection, so we are still watching for signs of barking from my mom. My dad and I had been spared. I was a little dog crazy kid and I yearned for him to love me. So I would smear peanut butter on my legs for him to come and lick me, but dare I touch him. The only time anyone except his parents and my one cousin could touch him was during car rides while he looked out of the windows. The crazy dog has bitten people when they woke up and put feet down from their beds, or if they moved chairs while sitting on the dining table, or if they went to use the restroom at night, or just for existing. Though, I would still blame his family for not bringing him up right when he was a puppy.

The only dog bite I have ever had in my life was also from a Pomeranian. They aren’t temperamentally the best, so it really falls down on the human to teach them to play right. Which people totally fail at. I could write some stories about Moony being mean to me, but that was only because I was the other puppy in his family!

Aah well, they are sweet, snuggly, adorable, but they really can stink sometimes. Sounds like people, eh? Don’t let that stop you from loving them, humans or animals!

24

Dating Tales : Boy 6 : Date 1

Wanted: Very well educated, very high up in the medical field, cultured, extremely sexist, Obamacare opposer, self absorbed douche, humblebrag, homophobic Indian man.

Enter my last date.
It was awful you guys, just awful. To let you know the degree of the awfulness, I SKIPPED THE OFFER OF FREE ICECREAM AND BOLTED!
Without going into too many details, I will again list down some pointers on what NOT to do on a date, inspired by the douchebag:

Do not suggest a place, and then go back on it 5 times, forcing the girl to put her foot down on the pre-decided place.

  • If she says, she is okay not drinking and prefers to not have alcohol on weekdays, do not respond with “C’mon, dont be so old!”
  • Do not keep bitching about the parking situation. She f*ing walked a mile after parking her car, whereas, you drove around for 10 minutes, and parked right in front of the cafe. Also, while walking her to her car, dont be snarky about her parking far away. It is f*ing Little Italy! No easy parking!
  • Do not keep talking only about yourself, and do realize EVERYONE is working hard and has a respectable job.
  • Do not go ‘but that’s easy’ when she tells you about her friends being physical therapists, or orthodontists, etc. We get it that you had lots more to do, but dont be such a loser.
  • Do not say something stupid about same-s*x relationships and then follow it with ‘Not that I have a problem’ with a sarcastic laugh. You aren’t Seinfeld.
  • Do not ask more than 5 questions to the server about the menu. Do not ask him to explain the ENTIRE menu. Do not go over EVERY drink, specially when her food has arrived and has been waiting for 5 minutes getting cold.
  • Do not give a speech on Obamacare for 20 minutes, and do pay attention when her eyes glaze over.
  • Do not say these words: Ah well, I shouldnt say this, usually girls are Hillary supporters *Sarcastic laugh*
  • Just dont be an a**h#le, okay?
ANNNDDDD, if she hasnt responded to you in the last 2 weeks, DO NOT call her at 2.58 am on the weekend. NOPE.
2

Travelogue : Seattle, Washington.

I got to get out of town after a looooong time, and it was awesome!

I was planning on visiting Seattle for quite some time and I was quite inclined to make it happen ASAP, come rain or shine. And boy, did it rain! My friend SP from Minneapolis, and I booked our tickets, and so we started planning.

I did not plan a whole lot for this trip, which was both good and bad in a way. I got a few suggestions from Mad and DD but the snowfalls and road closure put a dampener on those plans. all for good though, because instead of Mt. Rainier, we covered the Boeing factory! The drive to Everett was quite nice. It was raining(but, of course) and the surroundings were so lush and green! San Diego is freakin’ awesome but I do miss seeing greenery in SoCal. The Space Needle turned out kind of sad because it was all fogged out and there was no view except from the elevator. It was mean of them to charge full price with the rotating restaurant shut for construction and fogged out view, but ah well. The Chihuly glass garden turned out to be a great show stealer and was one of out favorite sites in Seattle.

We saved the most interesting, and sort of pretentious(but I am all about it!) Seattle experiences for the last day. The Starbucks Reserve Roastery and Tasting Room is a must have experience, even if you are not a coffee person! We tried their flight and chose three delicious coffees. We saw beans getting roasted and ground, and packed. We saw crazy brewing methods and hipster men in fun mustaches. We learnt that the menu is ever changing because these are small lot batches from different parts of the world. One of the coffees that we chose was from India! The whole experience is like wine tasting, but leaving you super caffeinated instead of drunk.

If you like Portland, you will like Seattle as well, though I prefer Portland more. Maybe it is because we both are weird?! I do have a travelogue on Portland. But I highly suggest visiting Seattle, maybe during better weather conditions.

My friend and I pigged out on food and drinks and each night, managed to return to the hotel in good time to catch up on sleep and experience total relaxation. We needed some rejuvenation to break out of the funk, and thankfully, we got that.

Leaving you guys with some pictures and tips for Seattle trippage.

  1. It will be helpful to get an idea about weather when you go. It was very cold and rainy when we went. I admit that I forgot about that when I booked my tickets. But in all honesty, I just wanted to go, come what may.
  2. Carry your good warm jacket, and thermals, and umbrella.
  3. Spend a good amount of time at Chihuly and do watch the glass blowing demo. It is quite interesting! It is every hour, am to pm.
  4. Buy your souvenirs inside the space needle visitor center and not in the little shop outside. Ha!
  5. If you are a Seafood lover, Seattle is the place for you. Hang out in the Pike Public Market and you will know what I mean. From what I hear, skip Mexican food.
  6. Commit on spending a couple of hours at Starbucks roastery. And also keep a few minutes spare. As many know, coffee is a friend of the digestive tract. ‘Where is the restroom?’ is a common question with some urgency, that the servers get asked. 😀
  7. The airport is kind of far from Seattle mainstay. There is a train from the airport to downtown Seattle and I recommend it if you opt to not renting a car. Also, parking charges are kind of exorbitant in Seattle. We used Lyft to get around and it was very reasonable. There are a bunch of bike shares too for a buck an hour or so!
  8. There is a beautiful Japanese Garden by Capitol Hill which was closed for the winter season, but I recommend that.
  9. I feel rather bad that we could not go to see Mt. Rainier and the reflection lake, but that makes me want to go back during summer. It is an hour and half drive from the airport, and can be covered in a day trip.
  10. Pick for a hotel or AirBnB in downtown to stay close to the action.

 

0

8 products that need to be male-fied, like now!

In the same vein as my last post(female dorito chips and blah blah), I want to help out our male population too. I understand that they need products specially suitable for their gender as well. Men are too afraid to use certain products, even though they realllllyyyy want to, because of them being ‘oh so girly!’ Here are a few suggestions to the consumer manufacturing industry to get on with it.

  1. Soft toys: I know quite a few guys who are big on cuddles. Some admit and some don’t. And then there are some who hide their soft toys and bring them out only at night. C’mon, bring out those cuddly T-rexes. Then the boys will be able to flaunt their Teddysauruses happily.
  2. Hair conditioners: Men are vain, believe it or not. They actually are equally gossipy, emotional and insecure as women, but the way they express is different. I know they steal their girls’ conditioners and hair masks in the shower because well, who doesn’t love soft hair. I think a nice range of ‘manly’ smelling hair products will be a hit.
  3. Lip balms: Continuing from the point of vanity above, I had an experience where my financial advisor stopped in the middle of discussing my portfolio and had to apply his chapstick because his lips were killing him. Men do it, but also find it sheepish to apply it like lipsticks. How about some ‘manly’ shaped chapstick bullets, eh? If you know what I mean….
  4. Fleece socks and PJs: My friend tried to steal my puffy carpet slippers but failed because I have tiny feet and they wouldn’t fit him. He was also quite seriously enamored by my fleece socks. Now if only they were in more ‘manly’ colors like dirt, sewage and slurry, they would be flying off the shelves.
  5. Adult coloring book: I know you were eyeing my coloring book at my white Christmas party, Mike. But, apparently, butterflies were too ‘girly’ for you. Are there any rocket launchers, cars, and gym machines that need coloring?
  6. Cleaning tools: Maybe some hardcore looking gloves will get them to do the dishes, and some housework.
  7. Car turn signal indicators: Oh my gosh, someone needs to connect these to brains for instant telepathy. Thinking of switching lanes or turning? They start instantly! Whatta world that would be! Wait, is this from the other list? Obviously this is a universal issue, and not a gender specific problem!
  8. MALE DORITOS: How can we forget the main culprit here? Anyone who likes Doritos knows how crumbly they are. Would be nice if they came with a man-bib to protect those man-beards from weird orange crumbs. Sheesh.

Go figure.

5

8 products that need to be female-fied, like now!

Have you heard about the new Doritos chips, specifically meant for ladies? If not, you must be living under a rock. Or have an actual life, with important things to do and massive respect to you. Me? I am just on my couch (it’s rather nice!), watching tv (a bit, fine!), and not eating the said chips (the flavor of the next three years is cheeto.) I am still thinking how in the world did Indra Nooyi say all this? So, to keep up with this brilliantly bullsh*t new wave of introducing products specifically for females, I have a few suggestions.

  1. Beer bottles: I personally find holding a drippy beer bottle tedious, with my pinky finger sticking out. If only they would make special pink beer bottles that I could hold with just my fingers(only 3, mind you), then chugging and burping would be a lot more pleasurable.
  2. Calculators: I use a Casio scientific calculator, day in and day out, for my work. But sometimes the screen is too grey for my mood and liking. I would like it to be bigger, so my eyes wont strain and get wrinkles.
  3. Headphones: Headphones or earbuds are a joke for my dainty ears. They either keep slipping or hurt my ears after a few minutes. And the worst part is them tugging at my earrings. I would want some robust earbuds that may pass through like, hoops, so they look pretty while being functional. I am talking about jewelry with audio, yo!
  4. Men’s jeans: No, I understand there are women’s jeans in the market. Hear me out. I want men’s jeans to have that ONE extra pocket to hold girls’ phones. Everyone knows about the lack of functional pockets in our outfits, and I am tired of men complaining about ‘no more space’. Phooey!
  5. Pull up bars: Those dumb pull up bars at the gym are way too high and are meant for stupid thick-skinned hands. I can’t afford my soft as baby’s bottom palms to get calluses and my upper arms to get flabs. A lower bar, with a nice pink foam layer would be appreciated.
  6. Key Rings: I need my grocery discount card, library card, gym card, one trinket and one purple foofie-ball attached to the car key. Umm, can I have a bigger key ring, please?
  7. Swiss army knives: Well, they are very handy and super useful in any situation. But they are missing two very essential items. One, a tiny razor, for smooth legs needed urgently for those cold nights out camping(ahem!) and a teeny bottle of eyelash glue.
  8. Car turn signal indicators: Oh my gosh, someone needs to connect these to brains for instant telepathy. Thinking of switching lanes or turning? They start instantly! Whatta world that would be!

Hulk angry!

2

10 awesome Valentine gifts for your single gal pal.

So, you have a date for V-day? Good for you. I am going to sit here announcing how it is such a rubbish consumerist/capitalist day while inside I am boiling with anger and screaming ‘WHY, GOD, WHY?!’ But hey, congrats again!

Now, you definitely don’t want your single gal pal to feel sad and left out, and most definitely don’t want a third wheel. So, go ahead and make her feel better or this will happen.

screen-shot-2014-01-02-at-2-35-48-pm

I have written some solidly helpful posts in the past to raise awareness for single people on Valentine’s day, or Singles Awareness Day as I prefer to call it. This is a dumb stupid day, with the exception of being Mad-DD’s wedding anniversary.

Leaving you guys with some helpful gift ideas to help that single gal pal(obviously, me) get through this dumb day.

  1. Subscription to a dating app: Your gal pal needs to get out and start dating, if she isn’t already. I force myself to go on all these dates just because I fear that I am going to miss out. Major FOMO, and YOLO! Get her a premium account on Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, Dil Mil, Aisle, etc. Maybe skip Tinder.
  2. New iPhone battery: For all those apps, you need a solid battery power. Without getting into the iPhone vs Samsung debate. let’s just get your gal pal(me!) a brand new battery for only $29. I forgive, but do not forget, dear Apple.
  3. Photoshoot: How about some nice display/profile pictures for her, eh? Get your DSLR out and shoot some nice candids for her so that she looks cooler and funnier and more vivacious than a drunk kitten.
  4. Uber/Lyft gift card: Sometimes, all she needs to get out and have a good time, is the option of not driving at all! Let her drink, but not drive.
  5. Urban Decay Naked palette: Just because it is my current obsession right now, but I cannot justify spending $54 on it. I feel nicely blended eyeshadow on my droopy hooded lids, will solve all my life issues. I will take a Sephora gift card, thank you very much. SP has fulfilled the clinique gel liner obsession already.
  6. Zip my dress: Look at the product for God’s sakes! The biggest disadvantage of being single is a mad struggle to zip your dress up. Let your gal pal have a moment of peace from crazy body contortions and get her one of these. A back lotion applicator wont hurt too, while you are at it.
  7. Mani-Pedi gift card: The nail bar lady says how will i find boyfriend if my nails dont have design on them. Maybe that will get us singles, doubled.
  8. Lip mask: Confidence is key for your gal pal, and she needs to be ready for all situations, as learned from The Bachelor where Mr. Pillowlips is a kissin’ bandit. Get her one of those Laneige sleeping lip mask or something, and let her become Miss Pillowlips. Never thought these words will flow out of me.
  9. Belgian chocolates from Costco: when nothing works, let your friend dissolve into divine sugar rush. The Belgian chocs are DIVINE! PB-certified. But just one box, okay? We don’t want that photoshoot look like it was done 5 years ago.
  10. Bottle of Pinot Noir or straight up Tequila: Just ignore all above and let her chill with Netflix, and some good red, or Margarita, or plain ol’ shots.

I accept cash/check/PayPal/Venmo and all courier packages.

9

Dreamers…

As an Indian Master’s STEM degree holder, looking at atleast 15-20 years wait to get a Green Card, away from family and with real tiny chances of migrating them here, I am finding it difficult to comprehend DACA Dreamers’s pathway to citizenship. To people who don’t know, H1B visa holders(like me) pay all taxes exactly like citizens, including Social Security taxes, without being eligible for those benefits. And I will continue being on that visa till my Green Card is approved. I am ready to put down a real investment here, but the lack of permanency holds me back. Most other visa holders feel the same, so the economy is actually losing out on some solid investments as well.

I do understand their plight and I am supportive towards visa grants. They have worked extremely hard and it’s unreal to see good, honest people being forced to leave to support an underlying racist current. I don’t want their families torn, and I want them to realize their American dream.  But so do we.

Please educate me if I am wrong. I am ready to learn.

PS: Left leaning liberal here, btw. I am a millennial, we are all about the labels. 😉 (Cool Trevor Noah reference.)