20

I am an adult. Really?

I will be turning 27 this September’14. I feel old. I feel I need to start using anti-ageing skincare soon. My eyes are all crinky at the corners because I have small eyes, I wear contact lenses and I squint a lot.

The great father of mine says I am getting old only physically. Mentally I am a 5 year old still. I am all responsible and money-wise and know my priorities and all that. But my behavior and my talks don’t say that I am 27 AT ALL! I feel even more like a kid when with certain things I am supposed to show maturity and behave like an adult. I have to make some awkward confessions here.

In my line of work, a certain part of the pump/bolting mechanism is called a n*pple. I am putting an asterisk here to avoid creepskates googling and landing on my blog. Everytime I here that word, I giggle. I have to control my laughter so that people at work don’t think of me as a weirdo. I hear the word being said atleast 5 times during the day. And each time, I crack one rib trying to stifle my laughter.

Whenever someone mentions Dick’s Sporting Goods, I can hear laughter in my head. If I am driving and I pass the store, I laugh out loud. I just cannot help it! Same with the character Dick in Enid Blyton’s Famous Five. Oh Lord! It made reading Famous Five very awkward after I was 13-14.

Many times, when I see newly married couples from my school/college, the first thought is, have they done it , yet? I see some girls or guys, and I have a hard time imagining if they must be doing it at all! Holy cow! I almost have to smack myself to make such weird thoughts go away. It is very very embarrassing for such ideas creeping in my head. Thankfully, I am not alone. A couple of my friends are guilty of that as well. Also, getting pregnant is like, the stamp that you have had s*x. How are you supposed to tell your parents that you are pregnant! 😀 I am very embarrassed to admit this all here, but hey! I am being honest here!

There are times when I talk to my mom about my dog’s s*x life(actually the lack of it, but no lack of trying from our side). She tells me stuff in details of how they got the female, which is usually one of the half adopted strays that my mom feeds, and how it got very exasperating and how my dog was being a nutjob. I can hear my dad yelling in the background at my mom and I, to stop talking like crazy because we both are in fits of laughter.

Sometimes I watch Ellen DeGeneres’s youtube clips and there is a writer named Andy on her show. She has called him on stage a couple of times and made him say some stuff.

Watch this clip here, courtesy The Ellen Show.

The way he reacts is so similar to how I behave!

Siggghhh. I am 27. I think it is about time I stop the giggles and be more mature.

So, I have to buy some new gym clothes. I will go to Dick’s Sporting Good tonight. *Breaking into a goofy giggle in my cubicle* 😀

ETA: Read Pepper’s wonderful post here and feel good that we arent perverts, but perfectly normal. Also read thisfor just a lovely post about being a child-woman. I am very similar to what she has jotted down. I say ‘wheee’ when my car goes down the slope. 😀