14

Being a vegetarian sucks…

  1. You are always being told to simply order salad at a restaurant of everybody else’s choice. You hate salad. Specially when it costs $15.
  2. You are ridiculed and called a goat at every opportunity. So you decide that goat is simply G.O.A.T.(Greatest of all time).
  3. When one of your favorite vegetarian appetizers arrives with like, 8 pieces of Paneer, each of your friend goes for it, “Lemme just taste one!” and you get ONE friggin’ piece at the end. You know who you are! 😉
  4. People constantly tell you to eat whatever and “just take the meat off”. Right.
  5. Somehow people expect you to be healthy and with a beautifully high metabolism, but you so goddamn aren’t!
  6. People wave their finger at you to tell that you are a plant murderer. Not sure about plants, but I will murder you, Shib.
  7. You don’t want to kiss your boo after he chomps down on a bird, but you so want to kiss the hell out, and the eternal conflict destroys you. Sheesh.
  8. Office lunches turn into a battleground with meat eaters throwing questions at you while you just want to take a breather and finish your pizza.
  9. You wonder why do you still have a 2nd trimester-like belly after working out so much, while downing that glorious garlic bread and ricotta lasagna.
  10. You are too shy to say no to splitting the check when peeps got lobster risottos and you had plain pasta, with them eating most of your appetizer anyways! Sure you remember this, SP!

Hey, but my soul is still whole. 😉

 

17

Yes, I am vegetarian…

1. No, I don’t care if you eat Beef/Pork in front of me. 

2. Yes, I do eat eggs. Yes, I do feel conflicted.

3. I do consume dairy. I am not vegan. Yet.

4. Even though I like salads once in a while, salad bars are not my ideal places to eat at.

5. I do get things outside to eat. Even at steak houses. Heard of Mac-N-Cheese? Karl Strauss has the best one I have ever had.

6. No, I don’t care if we are all going to a meat spot to have a good time. I will drink and make merry. Except, Korean BBQ. Nope.

7. My health is fine, thank you very much.

8. I have all the protein I want.

9. I don’t just put fake meat in all my food.

10. India is not 100% vegetarian. In fact,60% are meat eaters.

11. Again, not all Hindus are vegetarians.

12. I don’t ask you 10 questions about your food, so I can expect the same, hopefully.

13. I CAN live without meat. I promise you I am not a zombie.

14. Yes, this food that I am eating right now is vegetarian. You KNOW I am vegetarian.

15. If you sneak meat in my food for shitzengiggles, I WILL pull a Ramsay Bolton on you.

Every. Single. Day.