12

PINK : A Guide to Women’s Safety

I finally got around to watching the movie PINK two Sundays back starring Amitabh Bachchan. It’s been quite some time since the movie came out and I had heard really good reviews about the movie. My father specially had raved about it and he is not easily pleased by Hindi films. After I saw it, I have nothing different to say. It’s a fantastic watch that will throw you into a whirl of thoughts.

When I started to watch the movie, I had to stop and text Moo because I was starting to feel this rage inside me. That rage only built up to a crescendo like Falak Ali’s until she lashes out at the lawyer. It was making me so angry because the movie is not simply a fictional tale about women caught between lust, lies and political mileage, but has elements of what every working, independent woman has to go through in different shades of sexism. But it was just a movie. And a one that I made sure from Moo, ended in a non-depressing note. In real life, that’s not the case always as learnt from countless cases like Ruchika Girhotra, Jessica Lal, Bhanwari Devi, and many more.

Amitabh Bachchan’s portrayal of an old lawyer, desperately trying to report an abduction/molestation, then an almost bumbling defense attorney, and then a questioner with conviction, brings up some points that show how the world has moved ahead but the mindset of men is still regressive. Side effects of patriarchy have made sure that men continue to follow medieval rules and resist any changes towards equality for men, women and even the LGBT community.My father has an interesting point of view on this. He feels its an inherent jealousy of women(the assumed weaker sex) being able to do everything and more, than men.

If you have have watched the movie, you will remember his ‘Guide to women’s safety’. Dear ladies, if you want to survive, forget thrive, in this world, you need to follow this guide book. The rules will ensure that you live till a ripe old age. You may suffocate to death, but you shall be safe.Nothing else will protect you better than these rules. Not even a simple word or seemingly complete statement ‘NO’. Like the State Lawyer says, consent is highly fashionable these days and unnecessarily pranced around. Follow these rules to be safe.

  1. Do not go out alone with men anywhere. Men are boys who actually are toddlers that get swayed easily by your blooming sexuality. You are responsible if they cannot keep their feelings in their pants, specially being led to a lonely area. If you are alone, it’s a natural lead on to physical intimacy.
  2. Don’t smile or laugh too much. I am a personal victim of this. I have been called a sl*t, wh*re, easy, and many other fun names in Hindi/Marathi/Gujrati/Punjabi by my classmates and college folks during Engineering. When I moved to US, I thought I have entered a bigger, more liberal world, but many of my fellow countrymen here did not share the same sentiment. I realized this even more when I melted into the pot of different cultures that was my lab. I enjoyed company of people and I liked being friends with everyone irrespective of their gender, if we had a matching wavelength. I also liked being expressive about my attraction to a guy and the idea of a normal, healthy dating life. But how dare I. I should have known that I am a good Indian girl. So, ladies, if you smile or laugh too much, you are driving these innocent boys into helpless fantasies, who can’t help acting on it.
  3. Your character depends on the clock. Almost all of us have heard this one or the other time from concerned neighbors, family, friends’ relatives, teachers, and the entire community. Coming back late at night means you are easy. It doesn’t matter that you work hard in shifts, or that you may like to have some downtime after work. A girl walking alone in the PM is calling for it more than the girl walking alone in the AM, who is also asking for it to a degree though.
  4. Do not drink alcohol, use cell phones, eat Chinese food, or get educated. Like AB says, the ill effects of alcohol for men end at health risks, whereas it’s a whole new list for women. We don’t just get sick, we make people around us sick, with lust. Again, a personal victim of accusations stemming from this. Then there are the amazing concerned members of the society who are worried that ‘too much education gives girls much more to talk about’. Curb their mouths, curb their lives, and keep them safe.
  5. The venue you are at determines your character. If you break the Rules 2 and 3, but are in the presence of family, or are home, or in a temple, you may still have a chance. But if you are at a club, or a concert, or a café, you are providing an open invitation to men. Be careful of where you go. The nature of a venue has a direct relation to lust.

Ladies, be careful of what you wear, how you behave, and where you go. There will be men out there policing how we need to be. If we don’t reign ourselves in, they will not hesitate to discipline us. After all, we would be asking for it.

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38

10 reasons why it’s hard to be a woman 

It’s a hard job belonging to the female species. 

Excuse me for this rant, but someone’s gotta say it. Don’t forget to read this with a pinch of salt. And a lemon wedge. With tequila.

1. Periods. Hi! Did I just make you all very uncomfortable?? 😉 Just the word is enough to curdle blood of any man, and send a gush of wild hormones in a woman’s vein. It hurts like a B*tch, feels disgusting, and leaves you so uncomfortable that you cannot sit, sleep or even sneeze in peace. Everything hurts. Including the sound of anyone breathing. Also, don’t ever tell a woman that the whole reason for the pain is to create life and miracle and all that jazz when she is PMS-ing. Just don’t.

2. Hair Removal. It is very easy for guys to say that they can’t stand girls who have hair on their arms or legs. In the same breath, they will say that oooh, they don’t know how women can rip off their hair and they will never do it. To rebel, I don’t wax my arms. And I am proud of my peach fuzz. Deal with it. There is nothing unhygienic about it. I go without touching my legs for months sometimes and I am brave enough to go to the gym in shorts.

3. Nails. We were at the bar the other day and 2 friends mentioned how they feel that if a girl’s nails are done, then it’s like a given thing that the girl is neat, clean and takes care of herself. So basically, to prove someone of my hygiene commitment, I am expected to blow up $40-$60 for a mani-pedi every week. Hmmmmmm.

4. Hair. Haircuts are the most stressful things. THE MOST EVER! People say it will grow out, it’s just hair. But the damn bird’s nest takes months to look presentable if gone wrong. Washing hair is a huge task and some poor ladies have to do it every day (make that 90% of non-desi girls I know). I hate the whole business of wetting, shampooing, then rinsing, then conditioning, then rinsing again and waiting forever for my hair to dry. Shorter hairstyles haven’t helped either, because if dried wrong, it looks horrible. I don’t want to get into the whole ironing/curling/blowdrying process. I don’t understand how women get up half an hour earlier to do their hair. Respect.

5. Shopping. This applies to only indecisive women like me. I will go to a store, browse just with my eyes, without touching anything, will get depressed about not finding anything, will leave, will come back after 15 minutes, browse again, will find something which is more expensive than my grocery budget of the month, will curse the economy of the country and walk out. Then I will go home and regret not buying the same thing for about 6 months to a lifetime. If I have some event, the first thing to pop in my head are outfit options. I will style everything in my head perfectly before realizing that not only I don’t have 60% of items but neither the tall lean stature to carry it off. Sigghh.

6. Fat accumulation. I cannot stand the belly bulge when I am sitting down. B**bies are the worst offenders in this case. Br*s can be f-ing annoying and more so if new weight is gained. Cannot even burn the damn br*s because then any body movement will be agony. Sheesh. We women have been blessed to deposit fat directly on our torso for some goddamn reason. It is very, very easy to accumulate it, but so hard to get rid of it. This is injustice. This brings me too…

7. Food. For the general public, ‘A moment on the lip, forever on the hips.’ For most women, ‘On belly, upper arms, bust, butt, upper legs.’ To all ladies who like their drinks, yes, beer belly is a reality.

8. Shoes. When Eve bit into the apple, God punished her by condemning her to eternal sin, and by creating high heeled shoes. When they say beauty comes at a price, they really mean it. I love the look of high heeled shoes, but my feet decided to be flat and have awkward joints with tapering toes(bunion) and that effectively put an end to my high heeled ambitions. Also, never ask a girl to walk home if she is in her heels, unless you want a kick with the same stilettoes.

9. Childbirth. First of all, who decided to give women certain child bearing years, while leaving men with practically their life time to work the family jewels? Why the hell are eggs finite? That’s just so unfair. Even worse is, why did it have to be so F-ing painful and agonizing and even more hormone-y than menstruation? Plus, I definitely have a problem with the glorification of motherhood in movies, TV, or society in general. Some woman either cannot have kids or don’t want to have kids, or some may even want kids but just adopt. IT’S FINE.

10. Judgement. Patriarchy. Prejudice. Inequality. Inferiority. Enough said.

Now you can shoot that tequila down.

 

31

Empowerment, in vogue lately…

Did you watch the Vogue Empower video with Deepika Padukone in it? She looks gorgeous in the video, talking about empowerment, freedom and her choice to live her life the way she wants. It is a montage of 99 different women expressing  their emotions on their faces while DP talks in the background. The stunning black and white visuals with flowing drapes, DP’s lithe body, her adorable dimpled smile and wide eyed wonderment make it a treat to watch.

The video has great points about how freedom should be given to women to live the way they want to. It is a woman’s choice to be able to have s*x or not, to fall in love or not, to marry or not, and to cover her body or not. Sl*t shaming in the society needs to be stopped. There is a demand to be given respect regardless the choices a woman makes. DP asks the world to let a female out of the cage, so that she breaks the cycle of expectations in order to exceed them. She has the choice to be straight, g*y or bis*xual and only she can decide who to surrender her body to. She alerts them that her signs of love and wedded bliss are just replaceable ornaments. The only truth is her love, which is irreplaceable. It is a very powerful video asking for freedom, respect and humanity when a woman decides to have a say in how her life will shape up. The video wants every woman to embrace her choice and courage of conviction. It re-iterates all the points I stood up for when our leading Indian daily published a very demeaning picture of her cleav*ge. A woman must be allowed to live, thrive and grow, the way she wants. Heck, a woman must allow herself to grow.

Those are the good points I took away from the video.

The rest of the time, I was busy thinking how and why is DP so perfect looking with the flowing hair and the s*xy collarbone. I actually mistook the video to be a shampoo ad. Then I thought that it could be an ad for sanitary napkins. But then the video ended and I realized that it was not so. I watched it again, a little confused. Call me stupid, or laugh at my low IQ, but the whole I am a tree-I am not snowfall-you are a snowflake-universe infinite-cotton or silk wrapped around energy confused me. What was that ‘you are a snowflake!’ It sounded like me saying ‘I am not stupid, you are stupid.’ I have read much powerful lines with much simpler words that make impact. The very cute Alia Bhatt ad was a case in point. So was the ‘men don’t cry, and don’t make others cry’ campaign. That one hit the point across with a targeted ferocity.

They showed such pretty women in the video, with a few ladies from a rural background. It had a very elite, upper class feel for me. The points about freedom here lean more towards liberalization than empowerment, and was meant for A-listers I guess. It is very important I agree, but I feel it is the next step to feminism. The first one is to make both the sexes have equal footing in all walks of life. There is a debate in USA about white girl feminism and a colored girl feminism. It opens up the can of worms regarding how empowerment means such different things for different races, classes and strata of the society. Empowerment for some means equal pay and social standing, for others it means justice against violence and the right to make their own choices, while for so many it means to have the basic right to breathe and survive. What I would have liked to see here was women for education, women in science and technology, women in teaching, in medicine, women at home raising kids to be strong and independent; women running a business, working up a career or building a home. That is a choice the women have a right to which is usually denied.

When DP talks about her choice to have s*x whenever and wherever, I feel she is extending her choice of freedom to infidelity, which is just so wrong for any gender. If I can get really mad at a boy for cheating on me, how does my empowerment lead me to cheat on him. It reminds me of the fun Koffee with Karan episode where she bashed RK for cheating and being a s*x addict. She should not be that mad since after all it was his choice(even if it’s a sucky choice). Just a few months later, for a couple of weeks, they were super chummy again, when Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani was to be released. But people do change all the time and hopefully she has matured to actually follow her own message. It also brings to my mind the number of rape cases that are filed when a guy backs out of marriage after having s*xual relations with a girl. She speaks about a choice to have babies. That is a choice where a man and a woman must have an equal say for, in my humble opinion.

Vogue magazine is another story altogether that tells me that I am not beautiful unless I use a $50 Dior lipstick and curl my hair every single day. It tells me how I can’t catch his eye or succeed in the boardroom without the perfect skirt that will cost more than my rent. I do not want to go into their photoshop-body image-skin color issues and how bang opposite empowerment they are. “They do not have a size for my spirit.” Take that, Vogue! I am not fat. Also, is it the same DP who endorses the K challenge to get a flaunt-able waist in 2 weeks? I have written about her previously and recently wrote about Anushka getting bullied as well. I spoke up how they both were being shat on for no reason.

Do watch the video, and take away the great points it has to offer. But don’t confuse freedom of choice to be a reason to shirk away responsible choices and good sense. My freedom of choice may make me take all the cash from your wallet. But that won’t be right now, would it?

21

Defeating sportsman and female spirit together 101

Awww, India lost.

Honestly, I am upset, but I am not disappointed by our boys in blue. They did great! Remember the series down under where we got absolutely walloped by the Australian willow? We were walking around with red b*tts for months. Everyone, including me, thought that we would be very lucky to even get past the pool matches.

Well, guess what? We made it till the Semis! And un-freaking-defeated!! They did stunning. Our bowling was being critiqued left-right-center but the boys performed so well. The batsmen did absolutely great and Dhawan shone like a star. That guy has something in him. Remember Kohli? Who was said to be in a bad form and criticized for his batting skills? What a stunning knock against Pakistan. Honestly, the only game that mattered to me.

 

Dear Indian Cricket Team, you did great! . So what if we lost to the Aussies. We lost to a truly deserving team who played beautifully and who made me stay up till 4 am to watch the game.

*Salute*

Why do you think we did good till the semis? Because Anushka wasn’t present? Oooh, has to be because all the pativratha wives were praying super hard and were doing maha mrityunjay jaaps and no water fasts for their husbands. Right? That is the ONLY reason why the boys can perform. Hai na? Their talent takes a sideliner when the wives’ prayers are at work. Not girlfriends’. Because cheee, our culture doesn’t allow girlfriends. We can applaud and ogle at the non-Indian cricket player’s wives and girlfriends’ because that is allowed in their foreign culture. But when it comes to us? No way in hell! If Kohli does well, it is thanks to his talent with the bat. If he has a crunch day, it is because of the bad luck and the distraction that the actress girlfriend brings. We aren’t even going to look at the fact that Kohli has toned down his rowdiness so much since his relationship started. The girl has a truly calming effect on him. He was a star since his under-19 days and he will be a bigger star.

Anybody remembers the 1960s? The era when the beautiful Sharmila Tagore started seeing the so-very-handsome Pataudi? There was a point where Pataudi lost his form. Everyone forgot one tiny fact that his talent shone even when he was blind in one eye. There were jokes galore that Sharmila was distracting him and called him to go for dinner and he said to wait a minute, he will be right back. Aah, so funny. But that was 1960s. We have progressed so much since then. We are on our way to be a global superpower, economically stronger. We are so modern, ride fancy bikes, we travel by air everywhere, shop at Zara in Dubai and Singapore. Just read the jokes and tweets slandering Anushka. Have we really progressed now? Honestly, if one of the team members comes out of the closet, I shudder to think how our public will take them down. We have such a low opinion of anyone not being, apparently, ‘mard enough’.

Cricket is a very unpredictable game. You never know what will happen till that last ball is bowled. We have seen that time and again. Yet we chose to pin this loss to a woman who, by common public consensus, distracted our boy Virat. I am so proud of our cricket fans. Most of them are the young ones who cluck their tongues appropriately when there is a story about a molestation, who keep re-iterating the fact that they respect women when stories about eve-teasing break out, who themselves have girlfriends. They talk about a woman’s respect and how Anushka ruined Kohli in the same breath. Many girls I know are forwarding jokes about Anushka as well. The very same girls who also send forwards about how beautiful motherhood is, who post stories on FB about girls standing up against molesters, and who are trying to pave their paths.

People, don’t talk about woman empowerment, gender respect and equality only because it is fashionable to do so. Don’t go posting and harping about ‘men for women’ only because it is politically correct. Learn to appreciate the world without looking at the sexes. Don’t prove time and again that we are a bunch of narrow minded, ignorant, disrespectful twats.

 Team India, you have my absolute respect. Cricket fans of India, I am ashamed to be a part of a clique like yours.

Peace out.

33

The Ban Brigade

WARNING : I am extremely angry and need a vent right now. I am not proof-reading this and I admit there is a lot of cussing and anger and negativity in this post.

DO NOT READ

DO NOT READ

DO NOT READ

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

 I am sick and tired of the Govt’s attitude of banning this and banning that, left right and f-ing center. I am sick of the shortsightedness shown by these fools when it comes to justice and equality. I am do disgusted that I want to scream and slap the f-ing shit out of everyone. Arrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhh

I read about the horrendous mindset of the Delhi rapist. So nonchalantly he said that if the girl wouldn’t have struggled, she wouldn’t have been that injured. You f-ing bastard. You inflicted that pain of inserting the iron rod through her for teaching her a lesson? I should scratch your eye balls out with my bare hands for  just so much as glancing at a woman. He proclaims that raping a woman is a way of teaching her a lesson for roaming outside late at night, for wearing short skirts. The way things are right now, he may as well say that women need to be punished for wearing skirts, sarees, ghagras or even a burkha, for going out and filling water from wells, for going to work to earn a square meal, for going to school, for taking birth. YES. For taking birth. We have reached that stage where there are hyenas on streets luring little girls and raping them. What crime would they be committing that they must be raped as punishment?

The lawyer is even better of a specimen. HE proudly says that India has the best culture. I f-ing spit on your culture you useless piece of wasted sperm. You want to burn your daughter because she dared to stepped out of the house? I want to burn your one arm off, the one that pledged to stand up for truth and justice. Why don’t you get banned?

Rajnath Singh, HONORABLE home minister of India wants to ban the documentary. They are worried tourism will get affected. He says he was hurt when he heard about it. Meenakshi Lekhi wants the documentary filmmaker to be charged by cops. You f-ing morons, you are charging the wrong people! One of the most barbaric rapists is going to walk out in 3 years to hound more girls. That is not worrisome to you? Jaya Bachchan squeezed out a couple of fat droplets from her eyes claiming it is an insult to Nirbhaya is this documentary is aired. You stun me, woman. You have forgotten that you belong to a party which has men claiming boys will be boys and they make mistakes sometimes. I want to bang my head on the wall at the situation.

The one voice of reason was Anu Aga, who said that banning is not the answer. The main issue is the mindset and we need to confront the situation where men do not respect women and the blame is squarely on a woman after any rape.

Meanwhile, our awesomesauce censor board have directed the makers of the movie Dum Laga Ke Haisha to bleep out the word ‘Lesbian’. Yup. We are that country where we think marital rape is alright but words like Lesbian pose harm to society. Ashoke Pandit claims he was not a part of that decision to ban the word and has used the hashtag #freedomof speech. Freedom of speech gaya tel lene when he claimed K Jo has s*x with his mother after the roast. Which again, was simply, banned. Their p*nties are bunched up when they hear the word Bombay instead of Mumbai. A Manoj Bajpai movie is in trouble. Why? Because he will be playing a professor who was suspended because of being gay. The injustice meted out is chalta hai but showing it is not fine. Waah re waah.

Ban your idiotic minds you pieces of assholic junk sitting in the high chairs of the country’s top office. Open your eyes and face the real f-ing problem!!!!! You make me want to throw up.

20

My skirt is not your license, pervert.

For some or the other reason, this has been going on in my head since around 2 weeks about men, whether in India or abroad. And to top it, I read few very interesting tweets on my Twitter feed.

I suppose everybody has read about TOI and Deepika Padukone’s tiff here. For the uninitiated, I have done a blog post on how embarrassing and crude Times of India is and how I would rather call it the Trash of India. So, it usually publishes very news worthy articles on the home page of their website like ‘Top 10 s*x scenes’, ‘Top 10 heroines with good b*tts’ and other very socially relevant articles. Occasionally, actually usually, you will find illuminating videos like ‘OMG, look at her wardrobe malfunction’ or ‘OMG, look at her pa*ty show’ and ‘OMG, look at her cle*vage’ which has what happened this time where the subject was Deepika Padukone, a very famous Indian film heroine. It was accompanied by a very shady pixelated image/video, I am not totally sure what, because I refuse to give click/view to that trash. But this time Deepika, lashed back at them where she decided to educate them about the existence of her female anatomy. TOI thought it was cheeky and cute to reply back saying how that was a compliment and everybody should see her, ahem, beauty. *Goes and bangs head on the wall*

Next we have the La-Di-Dah Shobhaa De’s article on NDTV webpage. For a recap, she had said after Deepika’s launch that she was very ‘verni’ and looked like someone who wouldn’t win ‘even’ a Dombivali Beauty Contest. I have been wondering why Dombivali? My best friend/rakhi brother who lives in San Diego is from Dombivali and he is one of the most good looking guys I know(Do not turn into an air head if you read this!). And why Verni? Just because Ms De happens to be from an elite part of Bombay? I am from Pune Kothrud, and I totally qualify to be called as Verni by every Tom, Dick and Harry from Koregaon Park or Kalyani Nagar. I have failed to understand the point of her article, like most of her articles. I am neutral towards Deepika Padukone, just to make things clear.

I do not understand this woman. NDTV says she is an authority on Indian pop culture. Yes she is. Because her article bang on describes the Indian patriarchal mentality. It further re-iterates the fact that a woman is responsible if someone leches at her, oh no no, compliments her body. Her view is exactly the view of a streetside romeo who goes on a hooting spree when a girl’s dupatta is slipping, a lady’s blouse is showing her strap or a woman walks out wearing a pair of shorts. According to Ms De, Deepika has put on display most parts of her body to the public. She has dressed up in risqué outfits and has done bold photo-shoots. She has a toned body and wears clothes that flaunt it. The low back dress, Ms De talks about, Deepika has been there and done that. Does that make it right to point and leer at her body in a National Daily like a hooligan in a bus? You know how she sounds to me? Like one of those moral-policing culture gurus who say that if a girl doesn’t want to be raped, she should cover herself. There are some people who have said that she is a high flying celebrity, she should be okay with pictures of her cleavage and she is creating a fuss about respect and empowerment. Really? Like, really?? I am pretty sure, a celebrity or a regular woman who loves wearing her gowns and skirts and dresses and cholis will find it very insulting when a picture of her is taken and it is zoomed onto her br*asts or b*tt. I think it is a federal crime(yeah, right!) when such pictures are circulated and leered at by politicians in the parliament, high school boys in the restroom, men in offices at water coolers, and by the pseudo journalists.

I am pretty sick and tired of being told not to travel in a general compartment in the trains because men will pinch my behind. I hate being told not to wear low waist jeans because the back benchers will stare. It frustrates me being asked to not wear a square neck or V-neck because it will attract attention. It is quite obvious that I have br*asts and I wear a b*a. So should you stare at my strap like an animal staring at its prey? I know you have a d*ck, does it mean I stare fixedly while you(all the freakin’ time) scratch it? Take your eyes off my body. Don’t dare call it a natural instinct. My natural instinct is to gouge your eyes out and hand them to you. And for heaven’s sake, TOI, stop feeding this crap to the public as entertainment news. We have enough people on the streets who go OMG and whistle if I walk down in a salwar/saree/skirt. I don’t need a National Newspaper doing the same exact thing.

Lay off!

34

Idiocity of the idiot box

Everybody who knows me even a li’l bit, knows that I am a major tv buff. I can watch just about anything. I watch so many daily soaps and if I cant watch them, I will read written episode updates. Yes, I am that bad. Although watching TV has reduced now. I prefer reading the updates at lunchtime and I watch American tv series it night during dinner. If Bigg Boss is on, then, well, Bigg boss during dinner. 😀

In 10th and 12th, during mandatory board-preps-cable-cutting time, I made a giant fuss about it all happening! But did it deter my tv watching? Nope, sir. I switched to watching crap on Doordarshan. Moo and I still sing ‘Sabka pyara, Nandu apna’. I still remember shows like Miss India, Kadambari, Aankhein, Kunti, etc. They were legendary to say the least! Hehehe.

You should see my mom when she watches tv. She usually hates the heroine for being miss goody two shoes. She used to get so agitated while watching Balika Vadhu at Anandi. She calls her super stupid and ‘ekdum thandi’(cold). Specially the first adult Anandi. It looked like she was sleep walking and talking.

The whole reason that my mom and I get mad at serials are the very regressive portrayals of women and society. We did not have cable tv till my 6th standard I think. But there were some amazing shows on Doordarshan Metros and cable tv alike that showed women to be strong willed and independent. Hasratein was an example where a woman goes after an affair and breaks her marriage. Saans showed a woman gathering her life again and tying up all the loose ends after her husband has an affair. She never took him back, rather lived quite independently. Tara had the protagonist going for the kill and so did Shanti and Swabhimaan. The women knew what they were doing and they did it with full conviction. Moral policing be damned!

Then came the era of Tulsi Virani and Parvati. Oh god! How annoying were they! ‘Self-sacrifice for the betterment of happiness’ was shown to be a virtue and a way to win the husband back from the 2nd or 3rd vamp. If a woman cannot be a mother, it is pretty much the end of the world. The 2nd bahu of the house who is ambitious and career oriented is the one who breaks the house till the badi bahu weeps buckets of salt water and teaches her how parivar is what matters and not career.

That crap is still going on with rubbish like Uttaran, Pavitra Rishta, etc. I hate Pavitra Rishta! It is the worst show ever! The women are shown to be such sacrificial lambs who willfully sit on the stone and beg to be killed. No spunk at all! Such weaklings. Uttaran is way worse because the stupid heroine LOVES to hide things from her husband and decided to take all the pains of the world on herself. How stupid is that! I don’t understand why is sacrifice shown to be so important! Why does a woman have to keep family happiness on top, to be genuinely happy? Why would you want to be part of a family that will be happy only if you squash what you want to do? They are sowing superstitious things like walking on hot coal to the temple 108 times, or doing a headstand overnight praying to god, will lead to a baby being conceived. Oh God! Is this 1938 or 2014? Akshara from Yeh rishta was willing to sacrifice her life because she wanted to risk giving birth to her second baby. Stupid woman seemed to have forgotten about her existing 5 year old. Diya aur bati hum is a step in the right direction showing the woman studying for and becoming an IPS officer with the support of he halwai husband, who goes against the family too and convinces them in the end about a woman’s dreams. If only, they don’t show her family interfering in her work and her having that confused expression ALL THE TIME, it would be pretty good. The xBF’s sister and mother had told me that they are liking that show, around 2 years back. I am very interested in knowing if they are still watching it and what are their thoughts on the woman being more career oriented than her husband. Hmmm…

It sucks to see such sad portrayal of characters on a medium that such a huge chunk of population watches. I know it’s just the tv but it still makes my blood boil! My mom cannot watch shows quietly! She will scream so many instructions/threats/abuses. They really really need to work on better scripts that have atleast 20% of reality. They should stop glorifying marriage, jeevansathi and motherhood for God’s sake. A woman can be a beautiful person inside out, but may not want kids or may not have kids. There is nothing wrong with it. There is no need to show the world breaking apart after a miscarriage or a medically necessary or even consensual abortion.. There is no need to show every single protagonist willing to sacrifice her life for a child. She might as well adopt another baby and help nurture a life. There is nothing wrong with a girl who wants to study and wants to focus on a career. This does not make her a mean person!

Sigghhh…. I have so many suggestions to raise the quality of daily soaps. But who listens to me?

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Guest Post : By the Father

I have something very special to present here. My father saw the movie Queen two days back and told me about it. He was telling me what he felt about the movie and I told him to jot it down. He very kindly agreed to write down a guest post about it for my blog. I have told him that I shall convey to him all the comments and critiquing he receives. 

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.

Yesterday I watched a movie titled “Queen”. It was a very pleasant experience.

It set my thinking rolling at a furious pace. I was thrilled to see the metamorphosis of a young girl from a timid, obedient daughter (meek submission personified) into a grown up liberated, confident woman and behold! With the help of totally unknown roommates.

I now fully agree with Chetan Bhagat when he wrote about this movie that every single girl or woman has a “queen” hidden inside and they must discover it and liberate themselves.

My mind started thinking about marriages in my community and in relatives. In most of the cases if not in all, the parents marry off their daughter without any specific reason. I am sure they do not have any clear reasoning in their mind except perhaps the age old traditions. If you ask them they will come out with one of those points like she is now grown up, all her friends have got married, what will people say if we don’t marry her off now etc. etc. There is no thought about what the girl thinks or what is the thinking level their  future husband possesses.

The girls also being obedient daughters, as they are taught to be, go along with parents’ wish and get married. Again without any clear thoughts. They feel happy to fulfil their parents’ wish and land up in a state of long term slavery called married life. They analyse very superficially about the boy whether he is worthy of being called the life partner is true sense.

The boy has been given authority by our society to be a psycho supported by his parents. The modern looking boy and his progressing thinking parents suddenly take 90 degrees turn and become very conservative while selecting a girl for marriage.

Most of the new age boys start pointing out shortcomings of their wives and autocratically imposing their likes and dislikes on the hapless girl ruining the most sensitive and precious time in the life of young couple. The in laws of the girl put all the responsibility of our great culture and traditions on the newly arrived daughter in law. There are numerous cases around us of women giving up their earlier free life, their hobbies, their passions and leading a wretched, oppressed life. A mere mention of their earlier likes or hobbies by anybody makes them depressed.

I am not sure whether majority of the boys understand the meaning of equality, partnering for life, individual freedom or woman empowerment leave alone practicing these.

It’s time to think whether to subject our daughters to this kind of married life or to train them and allow them to think differently and independently. Why not to leave this all important decision of life to them? Why not to allow them tread their own path by brushing aside the ever lingering thought of “what will people say!”

As responsible, educated parents we owe this to our beloved daughters.