20

My skirt is not your license, pervert.

For some or the other reason, this has been going on in my head since around 2 weeks about men, whether in India or abroad. And to top it, I read few very interesting tweets on my Twitter feed.

I suppose everybody has read about TOI and Deepika Padukone’s tiff here. For the uninitiated, I have done a blog post on how embarrassing and crude Times of India is and how I would rather call it the Trash of India. So, it usually publishes very news worthy articles on the home page of their website like ‘Top 10 s*x scenes’, ‘Top 10 heroines with good b*tts’ and other very socially relevant articles. Occasionally, actually usually, you will find illuminating videos like ‘OMG, look at her wardrobe malfunction’ or ‘OMG, look at her pa*ty show’ and ‘OMG, look at her cle*vage’ which has what happened this time where the subject was Deepika Padukone, a very famous Indian film heroine. It was accompanied by a very shady pixelated image/video, I am not totally sure what, because I refuse to give click/view to that trash. But this time Deepika, lashed back at them where she decided to educate them about the existence of her female anatomy. TOI thought it was cheeky and cute to reply back saying how that was a compliment and everybody should see her, ahem, beauty. *Goes and bangs head on the wall*

Next we have the La-Di-Dah Shobhaa De’s article on NDTV webpage. For a recap, she had said after Deepika’s launch that she was very ‘verni’ and looked like someone who wouldn’t win ‘even’ a Dombivali Beauty Contest. I have been wondering why Dombivali? My best friend/rakhi brother who lives in San Diego is from Dombivali and he is one of the most good looking guys I know(Do not turn into an air head if you read this!). And why Verni? Just because Ms De happens to be from an elite part of Bombay? I am from Pune Kothrud, and I totally qualify to be called as Verni by every Tom, Dick and Harry from Koregaon Park or Kalyani Nagar. I have failed to understand the point of her article, like most of her articles. I am neutral towards Deepika Padukone, just to make things clear.

I do not understand this woman. NDTV says she is an authority on Indian pop culture. Yes she is. Because her article bang on describes the Indian patriarchal mentality. It further re-iterates the fact that a woman is responsible if someone leches at her, oh no no, compliments her body. Her view is exactly the view of a streetside romeo who goes on a hooting spree when a girl’s dupatta is slipping, a lady’s blouse is showing her strap or a woman walks out wearing a pair of shorts. According to Ms De, Deepika has put on display most parts of her body to the public. She has dressed up in risqué outfits and has done bold photo-shoots. She has a toned body and wears clothes that flaunt it. The low back dress, Ms De talks about, Deepika has been there and done that. Does that make it right to point and leer at her body in a National Daily like a hooligan in a bus? You know how she sounds to me? Like one of those moral-policing culture gurus who say that if a girl doesn’t want to be raped, she should cover herself. There are some people who have said that she is a high flying celebrity, she should be okay with pictures of her cleavage and she is creating a fuss about respect and empowerment. Really? Like, really?? I am pretty sure, a celebrity or a regular woman who loves wearing her gowns and skirts and dresses and cholis will find it very insulting when a picture of her is taken and it is zoomed onto her br*asts or b*tt. I think it is a federal crime(yeah, right!) when such pictures are circulated and leered at by politicians in the parliament, high school boys in the restroom, men in offices at water coolers, and by the pseudo journalists.

I am pretty sick and tired of being told not to travel in a general compartment in the trains because men will pinch my behind. I hate being told not to wear low waist jeans because the back benchers will stare. It frustrates me being asked to not wear a square neck or V-neck because it will attract attention. It is quite obvious that I have br*asts and I wear a b*a. So should you stare at my strap like an animal staring at its prey? I know you have a d*ck, does it mean I stare fixedly while you(all the freakin’ time) scratch it? Take your eyes off my body. Don’t dare call it a natural instinct. My natural instinct is to gouge your eyes out and hand them to you. And for heaven’s sake, TOI, stop feeding this crap to the public as entertainment news. We have enough people on the streets who go OMG and whistle if I walk down in a salwar/saree/skirt. I don’t need a National Newspaper doing the same exact thing.

Lay off!

34

Idiocity of the idiot box

Everybody who knows me even a li’l bit, knows that I am a major tv buff. I can watch just about anything. I watch so many daily soaps and if I cant watch them, I will read written episode updates. Yes, I am that bad. Although watching TV has reduced now. I prefer reading the updates at lunchtime and I watch American tv series it night during dinner. If Bigg Boss is on, then, well, Bigg boss during dinner. 😀

In 10th and 12th, during mandatory board-preps-cable-cutting time, I made a giant fuss about it all happening! But did it deter my tv watching? Nope, sir. I switched to watching crap on Doordarshan. Moo and I still sing ‘Sabka pyara, Nandu apna’. I still remember shows like Miss India, Kadambari, Aankhein, Kunti, etc. They were legendary to say the least! Hehehe.

You should see my mom when she watches tv. She usually hates the heroine for being miss goody two shoes. She used to get so agitated while watching Balika Vadhu at Anandi. She calls her super stupid and ‘ekdum thandi’(cold). Specially the first adult Anandi. It looked like she was sleep walking and talking.

The whole reason that my mom and I get mad at serials are the very regressive portrayals of women and society. We did not have cable tv till my 6th standard I think. But there were some amazing shows on Doordarshan Metros and cable tv alike that showed women to be strong willed and independent. Hasratein was an example where a woman goes after an affair and breaks her marriage. Saans showed a woman gathering her life again and tying up all the loose ends after her husband has an affair. She never took him back, rather lived quite independently. Tara had the protagonist going for the kill and so did Shanti and Swabhimaan. The women knew what they were doing and they did it with full conviction. Moral policing be damned!

Then came the era of Tulsi Virani and Parvati. Oh god! How annoying were they! ‘Self-sacrifice for the betterment of happiness’ was shown to be a virtue and a way to win the husband back from the 2nd or 3rd vamp. If a woman cannot be a mother, it is pretty much the end of the world. The 2nd bahu of the house who is ambitious and career oriented is the one who breaks the house till the badi bahu weeps buckets of salt water and teaches her how parivar is what matters and not career.

That crap is still going on with rubbish like Uttaran, Pavitra Rishta, etc. I hate Pavitra Rishta! It is the worst show ever! The women are shown to be such sacrificial lambs who willfully sit on the stone and beg to be killed. No spunk at all! Such weaklings. Uttaran is way worse because the stupid heroine LOVES to hide things from her husband and decided to take all the pains of the world on herself. How stupid is that! I don’t understand why is sacrifice shown to be so important! Why does a woman have to keep family happiness on top, to be genuinely happy? Why would you want to be part of a family that will be happy only if you squash what you want to do? They are sowing superstitious things like walking on hot coal to the temple 108 times, or doing a headstand overnight praying to god, will lead to a baby being conceived. Oh God! Is this 1938 or 2014? Akshara from Yeh rishta was willing to sacrifice her life because she wanted to risk giving birth to her second baby. Stupid woman seemed to have forgotten about her existing 5 year old. Diya aur bati hum is a step in the right direction showing the woman studying for and becoming an IPS officer with the support of he halwai husband, who goes against the family too and convinces them in the end about a woman’s dreams. If only, they don’t show her family interfering in her work and her having that confused expression ALL THE TIME, it would be pretty good. The xBF’s sister and mother had told me that they are liking that show, around 2 years back. I am very interested in knowing if they are still watching it and what are their thoughts on the woman being more career oriented than her husband. Hmmm…

It sucks to see such sad portrayal of characters on a medium that such a huge chunk of population watches. I know it’s just the tv but it still makes my blood boil! My mom cannot watch shows quietly! She will scream so many instructions/threats/abuses. They really really need to work on better scripts that have atleast 20% of reality. They should stop glorifying marriage, jeevansathi and motherhood for God’s sake. A woman can be a beautiful person inside out, but may not want kids or may not have kids. There is nothing wrong with it. There is no need to show the world breaking apart after a miscarriage or a medically necessary or even consensual abortion.. There is no need to show every single protagonist willing to sacrifice her life for a child. She might as well adopt another baby and help nurture a life. There is nothing wrong with a girl who wants to study and wants to focus on a career. This does not make her a mean person!

Sigghhh…. I have so many suggestions to raise the quality of daily soaps. But who listens to me?

25

Guest Post : By the Father

I have something very special to present here. My father saw the movie Queen two days back and told me about it. He was telling me what he felt about the movie and I told him to jot it down. He very kindly agreed to write down a guest post about it for my blog. I have told him that I shall convey to him all the comments and critiquing he receives. 

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.

Yesterday I watched a movie titled “Queen”. It was a very pleasant experience.

It set my thinking rolling at a furious pace. I was thrilled to see the metamorphosis of a young girl from a timid, obedient daughter (meek submission personified) into a grown up liberated, confident woman and behold! With the help of totally unknown roommates.

I now fully agree with Chetan Bhagat when he wrote about this movie that every single girl or woman has a “queen” hidden inside and they must discover it and liberate themselves.

My mind started thinking about marriages in my community and in relatives. In most of the cases if not in all, the parents marry off their daughter without any specific reason. I am sure they do not have any clear reasoning in their mind except perhaps the age old traditions. If you ask them they will come out with one of those points like she is now grown up, all her friends have got married, what will people say if we don’t marry her off now etc. etc. There is no thought about what the girl thinks or what is the thinking level their  future husband possesses.

The girls also being obedient daughters, as they are taught to be, go along with parents’ wish and get married. Again without any clear thoughts. They feel happy to fulfil their parents’ wish and land up in a state of long term slavery called married life. They analyse very superficially about the boy whether he is worthy of being called the life partner is true sense.

The boy has been given authority by our society to be a psycho supported by his parents. The modern looking boy and his progressing thinking parents suddenly take 90 degrees turn and become very conservative while selecting a girl for marriage.

Most of the new age boys start pointing out shortcomings of their wives and autocratically imposing their likes and dislikes on the hapless girl ruining the most sensitive and precious time in the life of young couple. The in laws of the girl put all the responsibility of our great culture and traditions on the newly arrived daughter in law. There are numerous cases around us of women giving up their earlier free life, their hobbies, their passions and leading a wretched, oppressed life. A mere mention of their earlier likes or hobbies by anybody makes them depressed.

I am not sure whether majority of the boys understand the meaning of equality, partnering for life, individual freedom or woman empowerment leave alone practicing these.

It’s time to think whether to subject our daughters to this kind of married life or to train them and allow them to think differently and independently. Why not to leave this all important decision of life to them? Why not to allow them tread their own path by brushing aside the ever lingering thought of “what will people say!”

As responsible, educated parents we owe this to our beloved daughters.