10

Through his eyes…

Tonight, two years ago, we met on our first date. Many words, and a lot of laughter later, we fell in love. In December 2019, Miss PB turned into a Mrs. Mr. PB wanted to mark his debut in this space, and we thought, why not today. I have spoken about how we met, and he wanted to tell you all about how he asked me to marry him. So, without further ado, raise your glasses to the man of my dreams, and the best company during this weird quarantine time...

It was probably early in the winter of 2018, just before my trip to India and about eight months since our first date, that I’d made up my mind – I was going to propose to Princess Butter, the cutest, quirkiest, most knowledgeable girl I’d ever met. In my quasi-planned ways, I came up with a three-step procedure. 

Step 1 was to get the daddy’s permission, as is fairly common on our side of the world. Supported by the best brother one could have ever asked for, SB, I decided to spend a day in Pune during my 2018 India trip and take the challenge head-on. “The” conversation went quite well, I thought, and it was definitely eased by the fact that her dad and I shared several interests, most notably watching cricket. After several hours (and countless cups of tea!) of discussing how Virat Kohli had changed the face of Indian cricket, I declared to him that PB and I were very serious about our relationship, and wanted to go all the way to marriage, but that we would do so at our pace. I explained to him that both of us had lived in the States for over a decade, and the idea of a surprise proposal was really attractive to me. He graciously agreed, and at the same time, breathed a sigh of relief that her daughter had finally found someone to spend the rest of her life with ☺ 

Step 2 was deciding when, how and where to do the deed. I took suggestions from several friends, both mine and hers, and woke up one morning with a clear thought that the proposal venue had to be where it all started – Kindred, San Diego. Both of us had had a great time (and one drink too many ☺) at that bar on our (extended) first date, and every time we’d been back there since, it was memorable. March 21th ended up being the date as soon as my brother finalized his travel dates (I wanted him and a good photographer around ☺), and all our friends confirmed their availability for the after-party. The ‘how’ was done based on a suggestion by two of her close friends, K5 and AG. I’d “trick” PB into date-night at Kindred to check out the release of their special Spring menu. 

Step 3 was easily the hardest and the most fun – buying the ring! Thanks again to the girls, who guided me throughout the process, I spent late nights at work for a couple of weeks and researched the hell out of the subject. Every time I’d learn something new, I’d try and test my learning at a jewelry store. I was cutting my research really close to D-Day, but with the backing of several friends and family members (thank you SB, RB and AB!), I had a very clear idea of what I wanted (and what I hoped PB would like) – a solitaire with a specific ‘rope’ design to depict how our lives would be intertwined going forward. I found the perfect team and the perfect store in David & Sons, ended up spending slightly more than I’d budgeted for (isn’t that every guy ;)), but was very happy with the final product. 

D-Day arrived before I knew, and I had little-to-no anxiety, to be honest. We’d allowed our relationship to grow slowly and organically to get to this point, and this felt like the obvious next step. SB and I had met with the staff at Kindred the week before, and the day before, and they were totally on board for the occasion. As the weather gods would have it, though, it started to rain that morning, and the forecast had rain until the late evening. If that wasn’t bad enough, I was told to “wrap things up” by 6 to avoid being crushed by the crowd who’d come to check out the new Spring menu. SB and I got to the venue around 4pm and requested PB to be there around 5. An hour of eating and drinking before I “pop the question”. Sounded like a good plan…

As it got closer to 5pm, the rain Gods showed no signs of relenting, so the patio was closed and the area inside was already close to capacity. I kept looking for corner spots inside where we’d find some privacy but didn’t find any good ones. I considered moving the proposal to another date, but it’d taken me a while to find an evening that worked for everyone, and SB was flying back the following Sunday. PB decided to stop by the house and was running late by 45 minutes, so we decided to stick around a little bit longer. Around 5.20pm, as if to bless the occasion, the rain suddenly stopped, the clouds cleared, and weather.com showed 10% chance of rain in the subsequent hours. I asked our server to help clean the picnic table outside for the two of us, and she gladly agreed. 

PB arrived just before 6pm, and I had been given until around sunset at 6.45pm to pop the Q. We ordered drinks and food as we normally did at Kindred, but since the place was packed that day, it took the server 20 minutes for the server to bring the food to us. Around 6.30pm then, we were eating, drinking and chatting our evening away, when SB texted to remind me that we had only 15ish minutes left. I texted him back – “I got this!” Except PB couldn’t stop eating…and she ate slower than usual that evening, or so it felt! Around 6.40pm, SB texted me again, “Light’s fading…You have to do it NOW”! PB was still going hard at the tofu skewers, and SB kept popping up from behind different cars to capture the moment! I couldn’t stop bursting into laughter, so I had to take matters (literally!) into my own hands. I grabbed the food away from her saying that I also wanted to eat some of it, later. She looked at me curiously, wondering why we couldn’t order more later. Within a five-minute window, I started to remind her of all the good times we had had that led us there, and then around 6.45pm, went in for the kill with my prepared speech of sorts. I remember little of the speech (check out my Facebook post for deets), but I ended up on my knees with…”this may come as a shock, Princess Butter…will you marry me?!” 

She rose, turned sideways to shed a tear, and then said yes, and picked me up. We kissed and hugged for what seemed like eternity, until I realized that I had to slide the ring through her little fingers. AG and I had guessed her finger size perfectly, and she could not stop saying “I love it” while looking at the ring. Our wonderful server got us a fine champagne to celebrate the moment, and we had a few minutes with each other before SB popped up to congratulate us followed by Kittu, who’d done a great job of capturing the final moments on video. More friends and family members followed, we cut a delicious tres-leches cake and we drank the night away. 

As I relive these moments by writing them down, I cannot believe that it’s been four months since I called Princess Butter my wife! We’ve had our ups and downs, as most relationships do, but we’ve taken a pledge to celebrate the future ups and learn from the downs. 

18

Wedding Tales: A few words…

Hello from a very married Princess Butter! December 2019 was a blast with us getting married in India with our friends and family and then honeymooning. I will post snippets about it and our life here and there. As you all know, we were already engaged, but to keep up with Mr. PB’s parents’ wishes for a customary ring exchange, we had a faux engagement with wedding bands. I wrote a lil toast/speech that I surprised my parents and Mr. PB with. To preserve that memory, here it goes:

They say that special memories are etched deep in our minds. Some can explore them, and some remain untouched till something triggers them out. I have been blessed with a brain that has a good holding capacity for relatively pointless things. But that storage has many small things tucked away in safe corners. Those small things, peek out every once in a while when I am in a reminiscent mood and make me giggle. Some rushes of those memories involve pretty yellow frocks bought on mummy’s paydays. Some have papa cooking up a storm in the kitchen, specifically toop-mith-bhaat, which is plain but hearty rice with salt and ghee. Some involve both of them pretending to be Santa putting cash in my stocking, because I asked for something at the last moment. Some are memories with more embarrassing results, like the one where they searched for a ‘golden’ sword all over the city, for my Rani Lakshmibai fancy dress outfit, only to have me tell them the wrong date, and subsequently make a fool out of myself.
My childhood has been lush, happy and full of mischief. There were books everywhere because my parents inculcated the love of written words into me.

How can I forget the day, when our favorite member entered our lives! Right away, we turned into the sort of people who go “don’t call him a dog! His name is Moony!” He stole our bread toast, my baby blanket, papa’s socks, our bed pillows, and our hearts. His love and his happy vibe got us through the gloomiest of times. His big blueberry eyes gave us hope to be the people who he thought we were. He gave a life long lesson to us about compassion. Mummy and Papa have been and became semi-parents to many roadies around, case in point, Bhoobhdi, Chintu, Kaalu, Champi and I am a volunteer with a rescue foundation and hope to open our hearts and homes in the future to more furry paws. But, Moony is around us, and will live forever, hopping around happily by the rainbow bridge. Until we see him again….

There were bouts of loneliness, which didn’t matter because our tiny family unit remained strong. There was bad kind of mischief, a little travelling down the strayed paths, and some incidents that I am not proud of. Some were dealt with strictness as they deserved, but most were dealt with a caring ear and emotions that mattered, and that made me feel understood.

My parents grew up as parents with me, while I grew up into a moody teenager, and a stubborn woman. I stretched my wings, took off from the nest, and they let me be. We had our ups and downs as every parent and child does, but not once, they made me feel that I was alone. We were upset together, we were patient together, we were hopeful together, and we rejoiced together.

And then came that age, where they thought I should have a life partner. After a few hits and misses, Mr. PB came into my life. Like the ray of sunshine, that he is, he lit up my world. The most beautiful part was, that my parents could tell that something was up. When I finally broke the news to them, I still get the giggles when I remember how my dad went from room to room clapping his hands and screaming “I knew it!” They were elated, and pretty much fell in love with him, right, when I showed them his picture. I mean, have you seen this guy?! He met my folks, took their permission and decided that this crazy girl needed a ring on her finger. I got my fairy tale moment, with my prince charming.

I want to take this moment, to hopefully, give him his… I want to create an incredible memory for you, with this little poem, Goob.

That first date
When you dropped me home,
I somehow had a feeling,
I was done being alone.

Those many cocktails,
Spread out over time,
Didn’t hold a candle to your charm,
And you looking so fine.

Words spoken and touched,
Your eloquent feelings for me,
Opened up my soul,
To just feeling so free.

When the moods came over,
And I got the glooms,
Your rushing over to care,
Made my heart just bloom.

The deal was sealed,
The long wait bore it’s fruit,
We fell deep in love,
As our raw emotions took root.

Our love takes us back,
To the warm-fuzzy teenage days,
Yet there is a sense of forever,
Deep in it’s crazy ways.

The many happy surprises,
that you sprinkle about,
Your love warms my heart,
Without a single doubt.

I may frown,
I may cry,
Yet you bring that smile out,
You never cease to try.

As we look forward with hope,
Into our future so vast,
Let passion and friendship rule,
With all the love in our hearts.

I promise to love you,
Beyond our twilight years,
To cherish your support
Through insecurities and fears.

As I call you my husband,
And I’ll be your wife,
But best friends we hope to be,
For the entirety of our lives.

I love you, and I cant wait to put a ring on it!