Of glasses and the struggles…

I have been wearing glasses since I was 4-5 years old. I have spent an eternity wearing glasses and so I assume I should be comfortable with them. Even beauty was comfortable with the beast after a point of time. I think. I don’t know. What was the story again?

I have been fairly good with my glasses. I never lost a pair, because taking them off and leaving them somewhere would not be an option. I would know instantly, because, blindness. I have broken fewer frames than most kids. Primary reason was that its harder to break glasses in a library than the sports field, where I would hide during P.E. lessons. I did drop my glasses once, staring out of the train window to say bye to my dad, as it picked up speed while going to my Grandma’s home for summer. It was a blind journey and the next few days, till my dad could courier us a new pair. I had to wear a stupid thread connecting the frames and around my neck for quite some time after that. 😦

I started wearing contact lens when I started high school mainly because of a nagging ophthalmologist who wanted me to wear contacts for better correction of my acute myopia. I got the lenses, wore them for the dance competitions for a month and did not touch them again till the end of my high school. My first pair was a total waste. It also got me a considerable amount of yelling from my doctor who said it was not hygienic to wear them once and leave them in the case for months, and all that. Finally I switched to contacts again after I joined college. This time the reason was purely vanity. None of my glass frames look good. Even if I get the trendiest frame, once you put in the prescription glass, they all turn into soda glasses. So not fun. But I don’t have aversion to my glasses. I wore them for exams, I wear them when I am at friends’ place, and if I am running errands, etc. But I don’t wear them to work and I won’t wear them to dates, parties or even going out. Again, vanity.
I do like my glasses a lot because this fabulous piece of object gave me sight and helps me not fall over (more than I do).

But I still, of course, have complains!
1. How awesome is it to lay your head on the couch or bed and watch TV! Or simply lay on side and hold up the side of a book to read? Well, I can’t do that! Because, the side of the frame digging in your face and the nose is so not fun.

2. Stepping out of a hot shower, out of an air-conditioned car or getting out of Mumbai airport? Hello foggy glasses and a few moments of utter confusion.

3. Right sized frame is a dream. They are either too tight that they are painfully pinching my ears or too loose that they keep slipping down and I have to either keep pushing them up… which brings me to…

4. Constant nose scrunching! Most of the time, my glasses are kind of loose and I have to scrunch up my nose to be able to atleast look from the top rather than pushing them up, especially when I am cooking or my hands are busy, or I am being simply lazy. To say the least, I look like a pug. I even find myself doing that when I am wearing contacts. It’s like phantom limb syndrome or in my case, phantom glasses syndrome.

5. Glasses, especially the ones with reflective coating, are dirt magnets. Even if I have my hands tied up at the back and I wear freshly cleaned and wiped glasses, they WILL get spotty and dirty within the hour. And seriously, I can’t seem to touch my face or hair without getting fingerprints on them. You would be surprised how nice the world looks after a nice rub-a-dub.

6. I can’t see the sides without turning my head, My peripheral vision sucks.

7. For some reason, a lot of people find glasses fascinating and it was not uncommon to have someone rip them off my nose without asking to try them on. Or, they would keep holding their fingers up “How many fingers are these?!” It took every ounce of will power to not whack the sh*t out of them.

8. You know those cool noise blocking headphones with surround sound effect? Yep? Nope. Glasses and them don’t go together.

9. Now, I am not trying to say I have long eyelashes, because I don’t. But they do get in the way! I can feel them against my glasses so many times while blinking and the problem becomes worse if I wear mascara during the day and put on glasses without taking it off. I won’t even get into the tiny black smudges.

10. How I wish I had teeny-tiny wiper blades on my glasses for the rain. It’s hard to wear contacts when out in the rain, and hard to wear glasses too. What’s a poor, blind girl gotta do!

11. I don’t know if everyone has this issue or not, but I get halos of streetlamps or vehicle headlamps while driving. It is not bad, but it is quite distracting and annoying.

12. I have to think 10 times when I am heading out for adventure sports. The xBF and I had showed up for snorkeling in our glasses and we had to re-schedule because the snorkel goggles would not fit over them. So annoying! Thankfully both of us had extra pair of dailies by a stroke of luck. I wear long term wear lenses actually. I have to think about any sport a gazillion times with respect to vision or lack of it. Even simple activities like swimming is challenging. It’s funny how dumb and clueless I look after I take of my glasses and Shawn or someone has to guide me to not fall over steps till the pool. I cant even tell how many people are in my lane. Haah! I cannot run or work out with glasses too. The frame keeps slipping down my nose and there is a constant danger of them falling off. That has happened.

13. Glasses are not conducive to making out, in my opinion. One person is fine, but if both the parties involved have something sitting on their noses, it’s a problem. What to do? Take them off and make out with a blurry person? Thank you, contacts!

14. No sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses are expensive! And don’t tell me to wear photo-chromatic glasses. Eww.

15. Last but not the least, I will always be the NERD of the group.

Contacts : This does not mean that I love you more than my glasses. I am tired of following a timetable around the duration of my contact lens wear. It is unbelievably annoying to have very dry eyes. I had to suffer through them for almost 8 years before I discovered the magic of re-wetting drops. I can’t get my contacts wet, so I can’t swim in them. It is always a question mark what to wear to the beach or hikes. I have to wear contacts, because I am shallow and vain like that. And also to wear sunglasses. I have to always make sure I have my pair for next 2 years when I visit Pune. Cleaning them is a pain. God forbid if something gets in your eye, even eyelashes. The worst is the general discomfort! Arrrgghhhhh!

(Psst : Dear sweet contact lenses and glasses, please don’t mind the rant above. I can’t thank you both enough, for existing to make my life easier.)

PS: I am sure every contact lens user knows how one eye is not like the other. Damn you, left eye, you!!