27

All things shaadi

I was talking to my mum the other day and I mentioned to her how all beauty blogs mention that girls should start using anti-ageing skincare after 25. And I  am 26.5. I told her that I just learned washing my face properly and it is time already to begin worrying about my crow’s feet, laugh lines, sparrow beaks etc. I made up the sparrow beak part. I know it is not funny. But sparrows are cute. Anyways, I digress. She took the whole thing as ‘that is why girls should get married before their skin starts to sag’ lecture opportunity. My mom is sort of giving me time to ‘normalize my heart’ by November and then she will go get my name jotted down in some Marathi boy search registries. I shouldn’t even be calling it boy search because everybody knows a Marathi Manoos is well, so not a boy. The very thought makes me cry. I need a boy toy, stat!

I am just not ready to get married. But the weird thing is I love everything about a wedding. Except the spending money part and the getting married to a stranger part. My heart feels very torn between wanting a Yash Chopra style shaadi and wanting to do a simple arya samaj wedding to cut expenditure. I just love reading wedding blogs. I was obsessed with Mehak’s bridal files, and I would read and re-read her posts a couple of times in a day. And the woman went ahead and created this huge website called Wed Me Good to feed my obsession even more! Her website is fabulous! It has everything from clothes to photographers to makeup to invitations, and listed according to cities. Even though her lowest range is probably twice the amount I am willing to spend on my own wedding, I cannot stop myself from drooling over the stuff.  Her blog and some more blogs are responsible for the horrible tug of war in my head, between pretty shiny things and the desire to stay unmarried.

Even if I decide to go all out, Maharashtrians are not known to buy 50k worth of ONE SINGLE lehenga for ONE SINGLE use. I don’t even have siblings to re-use my piece of bling. We do not have Karwa Chauth or Teej. Most likely, I will be living in the States for some time atleast after marriage(if it happens). So it is totally pointless to collect Indian wear as trousseau. It will end up as a decoration for my wardrobe, but shut inside the suitcase. Also, what do I do with the 6 chip n dip trays and 12 vases that I will receive in my wedding? My cousin did a smart thing. She requested everyone to not give her sarees or suits or anything, and to give her cash only if they wanted to gift her something. She ended up making the guests partly sponsor their own dinners. 😀 Veeerryyy smart indeed, especially for the Baby Atyas and Mangal Kakus and Madhukar Mamas I will most likely meet after 20 years and for probably the last time ever. I love Indian weaves and the traditional sarees. I like the chiffons and silks equally. The Bandhanis, Leheriyas, Kanjeevarams, Paithanis are so gorgeous! It makes me super sad that I can’t get a collection of my own pretty sarees and jewelery because I am a lousy dresser. I have such pretty things in my closet, but yet I tend to wear the same t-shirt and shorts/jeans wherever I go. I am not even thinking about all the beautiful jewelry I want but I know I will never use it again. It makes me cry.

One thing that I learned after perusing these wedding blogs like they were a part of my syllabus was that there are several chapters dedicated to ‘candid photographers’. Basically candid photographers take pictures of random things like your kajaled eyes, earring, feet, your laughing face, your husband looking far away at your choli clad cousin, yawning, picking your nose and such stuff. The pictures are all touched up and look simply amazing. It is like Instagram on crack, where your new saree is made to look old and your face glows like a million bulbs put together. The groom is usually overlooked and the pictures are all about the bride. Well, lets face it, shaadis are about the brides. Even I sort of want such a photographer. But holy molly! They charge around my month’s paycheck before taxes. When I get married(again, if I do) I will call my friend Abhi9, feed him very good food, maybe sponsor a Goa trip for him and make him take my random pictures and re-touch them. This is also what some blogs suggest, to enlist a friend’s help :). Problem solved!

So so so many more aspects to a wedding ceremony, all beautiful though! While writing this, I remembered this Tanishq ad where the girl is very resistant about meeting a guy but warms up to the idea after trying on some wedding jewelry. I have a strong feeling that my mom is using the same technique by mentioning her P.N. Gadgil visits and showing me saree and anarkali ad cuttings. I am still extremely resistant about getting married and will continue till I feel ready. Till then, I will satisfy my pretty-stuff-cravings on Wed Me Good. Adios, amigos.