Of “Not being enough”

 
This boulder of insecurities,
Questions and doubts,
The load of unwanted answers,
And sullen silent bouts.

Rearing up an ugly head,
Feeding with a passion,
Like parasitic vines,  
And turning into obsession.

"Not being enough",
This unnecessary belief,
Pushing down the path,
To inexplicable grief.

Turmoil and darkness,
When we wanted light,
There is a monster within,
Ready to incite a fight.

What really is the cause,
And what is the cure?
Focusing on the present,
And relishing moments so pure.

A reminder to overcome
The insecurities galore,
"I may be not enough,
Yet I am some more."
 

Just some more darkness spewing from me, no big deal. Inspired by words that I tell myself pretty often and that unfortunately seem to have tattooed themselves on my psyche. “Not being enough”.

I have been trying to fight this triple headed monster inside me since a long, long time. Some days it is me who wins the fight, and some days, the monster flexes harder. But I have been working out, and lifting weights and I am all but ready to knock this POS dead.

3 day quote challenge : Day 3

Phew! I did one challenge finally on my blog after resisting for 3 years. Savio from theextraaamile, thanks man!

My last quote has to come from the show that I absolutely love, inspite of being distracted by Game of Thrones and such…

This goes out to the people who are extremely important to me. Abhi-Nish, Moo, Ani, Shib and Hazra. Hopefully, I have qualified myself to be the same for you. Here’s to our friendship. Cheers for being the family that I chose for myself.

My favorite show!

The rules of the challenge:

1. Post 3 of your favorite quotes each per day for 3 concurrent days.
2. Nominate 3 or more bloggers with each post to challenge them.
3. Say thanks to the blogger who nominated you.

My nominations for today and the last for the challenge:
– Tatsatji

– GM

– My Era

3 day quote challenge : Day 2

So we are on day 2 of this challenge and this is courtesy Mr. Savio from theextraaamile. Thank you very much! 😀

Everybody who knows me even a little bit knows that I absolutely love animals. I am specially a dog person actually. I feel immense joy in doing even a tiny bit for the animals of the world. If I cant do anything, I will sit signing petitions, hoping for a miracle to take place. Usually, I am disappointed by mankind and by the extent of their cruelty to suppress, kill and destroy. But I will not lose hope that one day, we will realize that co-existence is the key. It is their world, as much as it is ours.

Here are two quotes that I firmly believe in about dogs. Dogs were basically put on the earth to remind us what goodness is. They are an inspiration to be good, honest and positive. Yessir, God himself has whispered this in my ears. 🙂

If you cannot do anything, remember, not hurting someone or something is equally powerful.

The rules of the challenge:

1. Post 3 of your favorite quotes each per day for 3 concurrent days.
2. Nominate 3 or more bloggers with each post to challenge them.
3. Say thanks to the blogger who nominated you.

My nominations for today:
– Mi

– Life of Srish

– Integrated seconds of life

PS: I need all the prayers and positivity I can for Moony.

3 day quote challenge : Day 1

Hola Amigos! I have been nominated for the 3 days quotes challenge by Savio from theextraaamile. Thank you, ye kind sir, to nominate me for this extra hard challenge because I am not a quote person. And on top of that, picking out 3 top quotes is enough to send me downward the slippery slope of typical Libran indecisiveness. If I make myself cry, its on you. 😛
Kidding! I will take this challenge.

Quote for Day 1 :

I am so going to sound like a broken record here, but my favorite quote right now is the one I wrote a poem about in my last post.
If you have been reading me regularly, you know that since 1.5 years, I have been in pain. I go on about my life, with a toothy smile in place, enthusiasm reloaded, and with my usual sarcastic and self-deprecating sense of humor 😀 . But I have been hurting almost constantly. I talked about it on my blog because I found it therapeutic. I would discuss with Moo, Ani, the Pune BFFs and with Abhi-Nish. It helped every time I spoke out loud about it, but the pain still lingered. I have been mortally afraid to let everything go. I had decided to live with the hurt.

I have also been very stressed at work. Things are great with my boss, Dennis. But the LNG and Gas market is exceptionally volatile right now. We have been hit by a perfect storm, as our GM says.

Also, my dog Moony, needs all the prayers and positivity right now. He is in trouble and he needs all the blessings he can.

So, basically I have lived with stress on my shoulders. I want to get rid of it. I don’t know what caused this transformation, but these simple words made a big impact on me. I have decided to turn around. I know I can’t let go of the thoughts and memories completely, but I can try to make peace with them. I want to cut loose, to take chances and to live without my shoulders drooping down. Well, I can’t do much about the shoulders. I don’t like my shoulder shape too much, along with the rest of me. Meh. 

So here it is.

“In life there is no ending. It is always a new beginning.”

Go back to this post here to read my teeny, tiny poem about it.

The rules of the challenge:

1. Post 3 of your favorite quotes each per day for 3 concurrent days.
2. Nominate 3 or more bloggers with each post to challenge them.
3. Say thanks to the blogger who nominated you.

My nominations for today:
– Khayali Pulao

– A dash of pepper

– Pop goes the biscuit