While I am at home…

….the world is imploding, Hollywood-style!

Whoa! I did not post anything in the month of March? Goddamn! Also, another confession, I barely even checked WordPress in the month of March. I was busy day dreaming, eating M&Ms, a bit of simulations at work, and just more random things. I had to offload the WordPress app from my phone because I still own and use an iPhone 6 that has only 16 gigs and my phone keeps begging me to free up storage. I finally reached a point where I had to offload almost everything. Anyways, such is life and phones are expensive.

So, what have I been upto? I am very busy changing out from night PJs into workout clothes and back into new PJs, day after day. I throw in a bit of work, cooking, baking, plant YouTube videos and then lying down on the couch contemplating about life. Mr. PB is working hard per usual, in another room, on a legit desk. He has meetings all day, errrryyyday. I cannot comprehend how can one have meetings all day?! I mean, he is a director in his company, but one needs some time to do actual work! No? Initially, I had nodded along when people were getting worried about working from home and staying in isolation, but secretly, I am quite liking it. I don’t have to dress up or brush my hair, and I dont have to worry about making excuses for not showing up to social events. I can skim through Netflix for hours without feeling guilty. But I have to admit, whiling away time and watching random YouTube is way more fun at work.

I understand that things have been hard for the community, and I see it everyday when we take a walk around the once-vibrant neighborhood that was the heart of the city. We see stressed out faces, tired eyes, homelessness, struggles to stay afloat and it really hits us. We have a cushy home and jobs that hopefully stick by as we tide through the coronavirus outbreak and many months beyond. We hope, and pray, and just try to help out the local businesses in any way possible for us. We never fathomed that a coffee to-go from a local cafe could be this important to the young girl taking the order. What else can we really do?

We hope that everyone is staying in and staying safe and will be able to survive the crazy months ahead with a smile on their faces. But please, dont smile the entire time, that’s a hint creepy. We are humans, and we can smile, laugh, frown and get mad at the situation. Trust me, I am quite pissed about my travel plans going into the trash.

Hope to see you all soon in this space! Stay safe!!

Some more randomness

1. In a drying rack, post washing dishes, I insist on keeping all the spoons, forks, butter knives with the handle down and eating part up. In my head, the bottom of the drying rack is teeming with cooties and muck and the eating side must never touch it. There have been countless arguments with the father and mother about this when they were visiting me. Of course, the question remains, why would I not throw away such a mucky rack?! The short answer is, it’s all in my head, people.

2. I keep count of how someone treats the gifts I give them because for me, that is directly proportional to the feelings involved. I keep all gifts, even buttons of old dresses, like precious items. Ani knows this very well, and yet she made the mistake of not keeping the flowers and card that we sent her on her wedding day. Preserving the flowers should have been her top priority on that day, obviously. It bothers me, way more than I admit, if I see my gift going unused, or worse, left behind. I am totally judging the gift-receiver at that moment. And it bothers me even more, if I give something and that is given away. I had given a bunch of makeup bags and makeup from Sephora to my mom, and all it took to blow my lid off, was to mention the idea of giving something out of that set to some family friend.

3. I am feeling very abandoned by some close friends and I hate how much it has affected me in the last one year. Anyhoo, this topic shall not be touched here.

4. My aversion to phone-calls still continues. I still find myself wishing, while the other side is ringing, that they miss the call! Oh Ani, I am sure you remember this!(2nd mention in the post, waah!) I get clammy, I feel tongue-tied, and I get just so awkward every time! Is there a phone-call-phobia, or any word for it? Even while I was attempting to date, I would get jittery when the guy would ask to talk on the phone. I have almost asked to continue dating on Whatsapp to keep things easier. Phone-calls are bad, and talking to people who I don’t really know well, makes it even worse. Also, thank god for online food orders now!

5. I have started enjoying collecting fun mugs. I don’t quite drink tea or coffee, but weekend mornings feel extra special these days as I get to have tea or filter coffee in a cute, hand-picked mug. It just feels nice to sit cozily with a nice mug. You know what I mean? Weekend rituals, perhaps.

Alrighty, that’s all for today folks! We shall continue with this random silliness when my brain freezes the next time.

Signs that you are a Game of Thrones addict.

1. You are constantly being told that you know nothing. Mostly, by your mom, though.
2. You enjoy embellishing your life achievements a la your resume. Remember that proficiency in C++ coding, where you learnt that it is C Plus Plus and not C Add Add?
3. With the embellishments, comes your job title. Chances are it is comprised of atleast 6 words. Hydraulic and Mechanical  Analysis Director of Product Development. And Mother of low NPSHR inducers.
4. You prefer referencing yourself in third person. Or in no person. A girl has no name. Specially for you, you drunk creep.
5. You are convinced that people at work are trying to steal your Iron Throne aka office chair.
6. While playing Name-Place-Animal-Things, you get into a long drawn argument that Dragon should work for animal name starting with D.
7. Weddings scare the death out of you. (Fine, marriage).
8. You know that it is a fatal flaw not to run zigzag. In Dodgeball.
9. As soon as the temperature drops to 70 F, you grab your jacket because ” Winter is coming”. #SoCalWeather
10. A crow isn’t a crow for you anymore. It’s a raven.
11. You spend your evenings trying out crazy braids from pinterest for that King’s Landing style and give up after realizing that you will always look like the beggar from Braavos.
12. Your ‘Oh God’ has turned into ‘The Old Gods and New’.
13. You are proficient at ‘sword dancing’ with your shampoo bottle.
14. You are mad at George R R Martin for being so old and distracted. And at HBO for the crazy delays.
15. Before FIFA 2018, you knew of Croatia only as King’s Landing.

Castles in the air

It’s a semi-rainy Thursday in here at work and I can see some sunlight poking out of impossibly fluffy clouds. My boss has left for the weekend and I am somewhat done with what I had to do but not completely done with the project. I want to finish it soon, but as of now, my brain refuses to deal with it. I can imagine a hundred other things that I could be doing right now if I had the liberty to flake at work.

• Food taster : This is the life you guys. Getting paid to go out, eat and review food has to be one of the best professions around. I refuse to pay heed to Debbie Downers who talk about health, fats, monotony and such bland stuff. I would love to do this if I get a chance. Order a bunch of food, taste a bit of everything, and down what you like best. You generally get to try a few courses and get served in the best possible way. After your meal, you get to skip the depressing part where you have to whip out your wallet. Eat, repeat, and bolt. And workout.

• Hair and makeup model : I am an odd person. I absolutely love it when someone is doing something to my hair. Even if they are barely braiding or even just touching my hair, it makes me all happy and tingly. Same goes for someone working on my skin. Aah, bliss. I understand that a lot of beauty and hair bloggers/vloggers need faces and heads to work on. Do think of your homegirl, will ya?

• Dog walker : Dogs. DOGS! Do I even need to explain how much I love the little, or big, furry, or hairy, buns of pure affection? As mommy has strictly asked me not to get one for the next few years, I have to be content with doggie-sitting my friends’ dogs which doesn’t happen often enough. I have looked into a walking service, but my visa won’t quite allow me to get another job even if it’s just paperwork and unpaid. I have looked at volunteering also, and so far things haven’t worked with respect to timings. Hopefully, soon. I look forward to walking puppers, requesting them to poop and then ensuring that they do know ‘Who’s a good boy!’

• Sand castle architect : The one place I look forward to most for the coming summer, is the beach. The warm sand, the blue water, golden sun-rays, useless sunscreen, I look forward to all of that! I think I would be really good at drawing up blueprints of castles and instructing my minions, err, groups of kids, to build them according to the plan. I can make really pretty castles and my mechanical engineering background gives me a good idea about material strength and malleability of sand. So, why not?

• Cocktail artist : I can mix up some basic alcohol and have a general idea of what goes together with what. I have been reading up a bit on mixology and I have a teensy crush on female bartenders. There is a certain badass attitude involved and it gives that extra flair to the profession. I think I can do it. Except the juggling skills, where I will be a disaster, thanks to my total lack of hand-eye coordination.

• Chocolate quality analyist : If there is heaven on earth, it’s not Kashmir, but the Ghirardelli or Lindt factory. Even if all that chocolate kills me, I will be at peace knowing that I passed on with a kick of endorphins. I will gladly accept half of my current paycheck, if it means trying out every piece of new chocolate to come out of those stores. I don’t even want to write anymore about it, because it makes me so misty-eyed and drooly.

I have good alternate career plans to look forward to. But as of now, back to calculating the correct blade exit angle and the velocity profile.

How do you know…

…If the fuschia from the cotton top will not bleed while washing?

…If California wont shake n quake while I am in the bathroom?

…If the new face cream wont break me out like a 100 other promising ones?

…If the weather wont be windy when I wear my shorts?

…If everything will be okay with my heart?

…If the wellness lunch supplied won’t have that boring, bitter lettuce?

…If he thinks about me as much as I do about him?

…If the amount of sabudana soaked is enough for my dinner?

…If that cute dress will get marked down for sale?

…If my distance will still keep me alive in the hearts of my friends?

Randomness, encore

My creative juices have vanished somewhere. So, I am going to post another set of random things about me.

1. I can be usually seen picking on my scalp. My mom imitates me where I am sitting and picking on my scalp and staring at a single hair in the front slightly cross-eyed. Geez, writing this makes me realise how stupid I must look.

2. I get obsessed with what I read very easily. There are new phases one after the another where I want eye lash curler, MAC blush, eyebrow makeup, and currently, cuticle smoothner and remover. Don’t ask. I never end up actually getting stuff.

3. I was a fairly low maintainance girlfriend, except the temper and mood swing part. I did not expect gifts, and if I had to, I would tell the xBF to just take me with him and let it be my choice, cuz then I can get picky. Also, I would pick up cheaper stuff to not burden him and would mostly go dutch when going out on dates.

4. Somehow lately my wardrobe for work is just blues and blacks and greys. I am infusing more color and turning it more feminine with dresses. I got atleast 10 compliments the other day when I wore a new frock style dress to work. My bosses’ reactions ranged from ‘Wow!’ to ‘What a pretty lady!’. It made me very happy.

5. I have realised that I am in a life-stage with friends where I don’t have a say. It is either follow the group or don’t. It is nobody’s fault. The days where I was an equal decision maker in groups is a thing of past and it will take some time to get it back. It will take some time getting used to. Kinda hard to explain.

Stereotypical me…

It is very easy to generalize characteristics about genders. We just assume the boys and girls we meet, to be a part of the particular stereotype that we have always thought they would follow. A lot of people hate that. I myself feel very proud of breaking certain stereotypes when it comes to family, customs, education, etc. The other day at a house party, a girl told me that she loved talking to me, and felt proud that I was doing something different than what girls are normally supposed to be pursuing for their careers. She was happy that I had taken the path less traveled. There are TWO female engineers in my entire company. A lot of people who know me say that I am a very girly girl, and doing a Masters in Thermal and Fluid Sciences is pretty bad ass for me. Heck, a lot of people did not even think that MS would be a good idea for me. My college roommate and a very close friend had told me, not in the nicest way, that she just doesn’t see me going into the technical side. This was 6 years back. How I have loved breaking perceptions!

My parents break certain stereotypes every day. They married when my father and mother were 35 and 28 respectively. They had me and decided that was it. An only girl, was very rare for those times. My education was always the most important goal for them and they have supported and encouraged me to give my best throughout. My mother tends to fall into the vicious cycle of comparisons and disappointments, but my father stands strong for me. My marriage is not the most burning issue in our lives, but my emotional, physical and financial stability is. That is how it should be. You have read about my father’s views in the Guest Post he had written for my blog.

I came across this new matrimonial site called trulymadly.com which made me think a bit.

But, just for kicks, I want to think about how stereotypes can exist and pretty vividly. I have many signs to show that I am an only child. I have so many symptoms of a kid who got bullied in school. I have most of the characteristics of being a GIRL! So, I want to list down some of the stereotypes that I fulfill, of being a girl, or a Desi at heart, or a new graduate in her twenties.

1. I love the color pink.
2. I love new and pretty clothes.
3. I want to be a part of the corporate rat race and do well.
4. I was a part of the class rat race, and did alright at the end.
5. I am an ‘NRI’ and I do like USA, India, heck, all countries. I have become more patriotic and vocal about India, after coming here.
6. I have fat glasses, and I do watch a ton of TV and read a lot. So according to all aunties, that is the reason I have glasses.
7. I was never athletic. I am the girly, arty, poetic, music and dance kinds.
8. Every time I come back from India, I get two bags full of nashta and spices.
9. Every time I go and visit home in India, I take tons of lotions and perfumes. 😀
10. I flirt. Quite a bit. Twirling my hair, batting my eyelids and all that. Well, depends on the audience.
11. I cry when I see anything cute. Like, YouTube videos of puppies and kittens. Not babies. I cry during most movies.
12. I bitch and gossip.
13. I am a freebie and sale lover.
14. I am very touristy, along with loving traveling.
15. I am mortally afraid of creepy crawlies.

I am scared….

(Not in a particular order)

1. That I will get fired.
2. My H1b visa will get rejected.
3. About my parents.
4. About my dog.
5. That my lashes will fall off because I love rubbing my eyes so much.
6. That someone will think I am ugly cuz of my acne scars and fat glasses.
7. That I will never get married.
8. That the xBF will get married.
9. That I will get married to a jerk.
10. That I might have psoriasis or the sudden new dark spot on my lip might be a warning.
11. That my acne prone skin will never get better.
12. That I will be ignored, will not be important for anyone and be abandoned by everyone.
13. That my favorite mason jar bottle will fall and the glass will shatter.
14. That I will have a crazy weight gain.
15. That no one will cry when I die.

Of random stuff… 2

My randomness returns. Have a million things going on in my head. This randomness helps me break away from that randomness.

1. I am a hypochondriac. I am always convinced I have some or the other disease. I self-diagnose my symptoms using Dr. Internet, and then self-treat, and refuse to go to the real doctor. But when I do, I am usually right about my symptoms and medication options. *For the win!* I have to self-treat my cold and sore throats in the US anyways. I had bought my Pune Dr’s prescription for treating 20 days of sickness.

2. I wear a gold ring and a chain, that was given to me by my maternal grandpa and my dad respectively, for my naming ceremony in my 6th month. The ring is on my left pinky. The chain has a cute golu molu Ganpati pendant(21st birthday). The chain is short now and just goes around my neck. But it was sort of rubbing against my neck and breaking my hair in clumps. Also, it fell off once or twice. So, I have started wearing it as a bracelet on my left wrist. I also wear a ring on my right middle finger(18th b’day) and the same gold ear-rings since class 7th bought in Ratlam with my cousins. I have gold 2nd piercings too. I just realized that is a lot of gold. But pretty, dainty and delicate gold. Anymore, and I might just look like Bappi da.

3. My friend VS(a guy, not Victoria’s Secret), from my class in engg college, said I blink really slow. Like really abnormally slow. He said he could count 1-2-3 during my blink.

4. I like shopping, like a normal girl would. But I HATE shoe shoppin. I have tiny feet and I need a shoe size 5-5.5-6 depending on the brand(USA), which is tiny and usually not available. Also, I don’t wear heels, because of flat feet and sort of a self-diagnosed bunion. But I don’t like ballet flats which show toe cle*v*ge. 😦

5. Princess Butter stays away from hand bags. If I had my way, I would still carry backpacks everywhere. I have carried backpacks for eating out, movies, dates. I lived through college with my red backpacks. I just cannot make myself carry handbags on my shoulder or the crook of my arm. Ugghhh. I can still manage a tote and I find sling bags comfortable. The xBF had gifted me a faux black leather, formalish sling bag to carry to work. It goes everywhere and not just to work. His last gift to me was a Steve Madden tote/sling/handbag with different straps. I am yet to use it. It is in the ‘shall be preserved for a long time before use’ museum with other clothes/accessories. I like to keep new things new for REALLY long. Hehehe!

Thats all for now. Adios amigos.

Of random stuff…

I have been typing, deleting, typing and deleting things since the last half an hour. I feel like writing something down, but don’t know what to. I cannot even call this a writer’s block. Maybe a faux-writer’s block? Haha

So I will list done 5 random things about me.

1. I am like a magpie. I keep everything people gift me, including wrappers/ribbons/tiny cards. I keep a lot of keep-sakes. I have kept the BF’s empty face wash tube after he left. I am that bad. I want to keep ‘last’ everything. Movie stubs, pebbles from the beach, empty small boxes, etc. I qualify to be a hoarder.

2. I need my tiny yellow palm size giraffe clutched in my hand while going off to sleep. If I wake up in the middle of the night and he is not in my hand, I will actually look for it, clutch it tightly and then only I can peacefully snooze off again.

ETA: That is my giraffe. It is the size of my palm.

3. I think I have a mild OCD(hopefully it does remain mild). I have to move my palm on any utensil, glass, bowl or plate that I use for food or drinks. It makes me a little uncomfortable if I get served and I have not ‘cleaned’ the dinnerware myself. But I don’t complain.

4. My nose itches a lot after some meals. I am trying to figure out if I am allergic to some ingredient. It is pretty annoying to start scratching my nose halfway through the meal for about an hour, not to mention the strange looks I get from people around.

5. I have a certain set pattern after I wake up and I have to bathe immediately. I hate the feel of my skin right after waking up, right after showering and before moisturizing and right after cooking(?!?).

Yup, that is all for now. Someday I will disclose more things about me, when I won’t know what to write. Lol.
Till then, ciao!