45

Taking the plunge!

It’s happening you guys! If you look my name up on Anuroop, you will find it. Well, not Princess Butter, but my real name. D-Uh. Not just Anuroop, but Bharat Matrimony and I suppose Shaadi.com too. I have given my go ahead to the Mother and Father and have told them that I am going to keep my search on too.

For the non-Indian audience, yes I am putting my name down for an Arranged Marriage scenario, and no, I will not be getting married without seeing them/meeting them, and also, I am NOT being forced into this. This is not very different than Online Dating where you match with someone, meet them, date them and maybe say yes for a long term relationship. It just is a bit faster leading towards marriage and you have a goal. There are pros and cons. Just like pros and cons in online dating, or meeting someone at the bar, or through friends. You get my drift, hopefully.

I told them about my dating scenario and Mom was a little scandalized but alright and said try and do your shenanigans on Matrimonial Apps rather than Tinder/Coffee meets Bagel or whatever. Haha! Also, she wants me to send her a picture in a ‘mod dress’ so the guy and his family will have an idea what they are dealing with.

When we were talking, Dad asked to give him a broad idea with respect to what I want. I went really broad and said, I want a male. He said, okay, I will keep that in mind. 😀 Then I said that you know my personality so make sure the guy matches that. At that point, my dad said in these exact words, “We have tried! But we have failed to understand you! God knows what you are now. YOU ARE AN ENIGMA!” We were all in fits of laughter for the next 10 minutes. Although the crux of the matter is that my parents have left it on me to filter out the guys and are not going to interfere. They are cool like that.

So, I looked up the Anuroop Sanstha website and the registration website and have a lot of doubts in my head about it.

1. Chashma/Spectacles seems like an important point. I think my soda glasses are going to buy me a couple of years. 😀

2. What the hell is my built from these options(translated into English from really funny Marathi words) : Slim, Medium, Like a stick, Plump, Delicate?? What the F#ck is delicate!

3. Am I fair or wheatish? Can I write MAC foundation shade NC37? Wait! I am NC35 in concealer. Will the 2 shade range make a difference? OMG!

4. For Groom’s expectation with regards to food habits, I prefer vegetarian(eggetarian), but will adjust with meat eating as long as it’s not cooked in front of me. But can I write that I am not going to kiss him right after he eats it?

5. Again for Groom’s expectations, I need to mention if I want someone who can cook or not. Can I say, I don’t care, but must know how to do dishes?

6. There is a question about how do I spend my spare time. Is “Sleeping, youtube, or youtubing while lying down” an acceptable answer?

7. I will have to rank my time between these options: Family, Relatives, Friends, Guru-Satsang, Others. If my past few weeks are anything to go by, 100% of my free time is going to Abhi-Nisha-Madhuri! And ‘Would you want your spouse to partake in these activities?’ Hell yeah! 😀

8. Do I play any games? I play baseball in a tiny city league with a bunch of drunk people and my team name is ‘Happy Hour’. Are mind-games during flirting/courting counted?

9. I am supposed to tell if I smoke, drink, club etc. and for the weirdest reason ‘hoteling’ is included in it. First of all, I hate the word. It’s stupid. And since when is eating out being clubbed with these ‘must-ask’ questions?

10. The form asks if our family values are traditional, modern, free-thinking or flexible. FLEXIBLE. I thought of something entirely else when I read it. It was awkward.

11. The best for the last. Options for the past: Serious relationship, relationships or just friendship. Why will anyone write down just friendship? I could put down 200 names and counting, for all my friends. Sheesh. 

My dad said he is already tired. My mom yelled at him and said that it’s been just ONE day. I said they are looking at atleast 2 more years of madness.

So, to end it, my mom has summarized me as “Liberal, broad minded, modern girl who values her friendships and relationships.”
I am such a catch on paper.

PS: Convinced the folks to not pay up for their annual registration till January. I don’t have time till December and don’t want to waste 2 months’ fee. Top-of-the-line cheapskate I am. 

25

Guest Post : By the Father

I have something very special to present here. My father saw the movie Queen two days back and told me about it. He was telling me what he felt about the movie and I told him to jot it down. He very kindly agreed to write down a guest post about it for my blog. I have told him that I shall convey to him all the comments and critiquing he receives. 

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.

Yesterday I watched a movie titled “Queen”. It was a very pleasant experience.

It set my thinking rolling at a furious pace. I was thrilled to see the metamorphosis of a young girl from a timid, obedient daughter (meek submission personified) into a grown up liberated, confident woman and behold! With the help of totally unknown roommates.

I now fully agree with Chetan Bhagat when he wrote about this movie that every single girl or woman has a “queen” hidden inside and they must discover it and liberate themselves.

My mind started thinking about marriages in my community and in relatives. In most of the cases if not in all, the parents marry off their daughter without any specific reason. I am sure they do not have any clear reasoning in their mind except perhaps the age old traditions. If you ask them they will come out with one of those points like she is now grown up, all her friends have got married, what will people say if we don’t marry her off now etc. etc. There is no thought about what the girl thinks or what is the thinking level their  future husband possesses.

The girls also being obedient daughters, as they are taught to be, go along with parents’ wish and get married. Again without any clear thoughts. They feel happy to fulfil their parents’ wish and land up in a state of long term slavery called married life. They analyse very superficially about the boy whether he is worthy of being called the life partner is true sense.

The boy has been given authority by our society to be a psycho supported by his parents. The modern looking boy and his progressing thinking parents suddenly take 90 degrees turn and become very conservative while selecting a girl for marriage.

Most of the new age boys start pointing out shortcomings of their wives and autocratically imposing their likes and dislikes on the hapless girl ruining the most sensitive and precious time in the life of young couple. The in laws of the girl put all the responsibility of our great culture and traditions on the newly arrived daughter in law. There are numerous cases around us of women giving up their earlier free life, their hobbies, their passions and leading a wretched, oppressed life. A mere mention of their earlier likes or hobbies by anybody makes them depressed.

I am not sure whether majority of the boys understand the meaning of equality, partnering for life, individual freedom or woman empowerment leave alone practicing these.

It’s time to think whether to subject our daughters to this kind of married life or to train them and allow them to think differently and independently. Why not to leave this all important decision of life to them? Why not to allow them tread their own path by brushing aside the ever lingering thought of “what will people say!”

As responsible, educated parents we owe this to our beloved daughters.

0

For a dear friend….

One of my close friends from my engg days is getting married soon. I wrote this for her. It is kind of sappy and cheesy, on the lines of ‘Banno ro banno meri, chali sasural ko……’ Aaaah, well…..

I remember the first day in 2005,
When I** walked into the dorm,
From the crazy gal to a to-be-newly-wed
We have seen you beautifully transform.

The hippie kurtas and baggy jeans,
With a curly crop on your head,
To silk and chiffon drapes,
And the brushed, smoothed hair instead.

As you start a new life ahead,
So many good wishes for the mad bride.
Hoping you both settle in domestic bliss,
With lots of love, care, and for each other, pride.

With nothing else to give,
But tons of hugs and kisses,
Wishing you loads of luck,
As you turn into a Mrs.