12

Dating Tales : Boy 4 : Date 1

A lot of people have been asking me to chronicle more dates or setups that are going on in my life. I feel extremely sad to disappoint you all, and myself, that there aren’t a lot of those things going on even now. At this juncture, the past is out of the window, but it takes all the effort to not be a 3 year old who says ‘eww’ and blushes when someone mentions a boy.

I have spoken to a few people, and met 3 so far. The first was depressing, with his hypothetical question and declaration that he may move back at any point to India and he doesn’t mind living in a one bedroom apartment with his parents. I was too stunned the whole time to react and he took that as me being high. Yes, he asked me that. And I was not, I promise.

The second one went alright, but the dude got back with his girlfriend, with both of us clear after the first date itself that we were better friends than as a couple.

The third, was a bit of a basketcase when it came to communication and definitely needs a mention here.

So, I came across this guy and let’s call him Mr. Y. He was from a town close to my city back in India but he went to college in my city before moving to US for his grad school and work. He is an IT guy and he definitely was the kind who studied all his life, and aspires to work for the Silicon Valley bigwigs. He told me within a few moments of the date that he is getting interview calls already from Facebook and Google. I did not feel like telling him that they call literally every techie in California, with a lot of my friends actually succeeding the interview rounds. Anyhow, here goes the timeline of our exchanges.

Saturday was when we started texting each other and it was a short exchange of 3-4 texts where he confirmed to call on the next Tuesday at 7.30 pm. It sounded more like a corporate meeting scheduling than a getting to know each other conversation.

Tuesday, he texted at 7.30 pm to check my availability to answer the damn call. I called him back right away and we spoke for 20 min, where there were really long pauses and I could hear a very slow and sad background music that could exist in that part of my biopic if ever made. Towards the end of that call, we agreed to text on Friday to confirm a spot to meet on Saturday for a date.

Friday evening arrived, with clockwork precision, Mr. Y texted and asked if a Starbucks would be fine. I asked if he would like to go to some other coffee shop, and that I had a few nice places on my Yelp list. We decided on Portola in Costa Mesa because it is adorable with it’s industrial interiors and I have always wanted to go there.

Saturday afternoon, we met at the coffee shop, talked for around an hour, and yet I left from there feeling like I did not know him AT ALL! The only recall value was how nice my coffee was, he liked NBA, and he had a Scuba license that he told me 3 times about. My impression of him was a vanilla software techie, with a Scuba diving license. One thing irked me big time was the way he was pronouncing my city’s name. It bothered me way more than it should have! We left the cafe after telling each other that we’ll text and stay in touch and see how it goes from thereon.

10 day later, until Tuesday, I saw no message or call from him. I was sort of mad at him for not even sending a polite text like it was nice seeing you, or something sweet. So, in all my anger and ego, I texted him that since we have had no communication with each other, we may as well end it here. My outlook is, if either of us would have felt inclined to meet again, we would have texted.

On Wednesday, Mr. Y replied apologizing for a late reply. His reason was that he was unsure of what to reply because he thought the meeting was great and he was going to suggest to meet a few more times. I was so confused! Because at what point did he think that I knew about him wanting to meet more! Anyways, I decided to be nice and offered to meet again and give him a second chance. And I waited.

Until another 10 days later, on Saturday again. I swallowed my pride and I messaged him only to find out that he was in San Jose with his friends. I talked about food(because that’s my fav topic) for a few minutes and told him that I was running the St. Paddy’s 5k like every year the next day, Sunday.

Monday, he messaged asking how my run was. I said that it was very fun and I had a great time with my friends. He said ‘nice.’ That was it. Those were our last sentences to each other. It has been more than a month.

Such a lack of attention is a turnoff for this princess. I don’t understand. There were 20 messages to each other in a span of 1.5 months almost. Is he still thinking that we got along very well, and has he assumed we will be meeting more? Only God and Mr. Y know!

 

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6

Zip it up

#Thingsnottosayinaworkplace:

“Dont let her talk in the meetings, She talks too much.” “Muzzle her.” “Or shut her in a room. Hahahaha”

“I bet she is dyslexic.” ” I wont be surprised. Haha.”

“You are so gay.”

“You should get married. Women should get maaried early. It is better for their bodies.”

“Women are too sensitive these days.”

“Be a man, grow some b*lls.”

“Haha you are a bald, short guy. Haha.”

“*Snatching and speaking into a friend’s phone, to his GF* You should come back soon! He is starting to h*mp my leg now after the tables.”

“He was running like a girl.”

“So whiny, turning into a woman.”
“Women are suitable for phone jobs because their voices are inviting.”

“You look hot. I would do you.”

Gentlemen and Ladies,

I have heard most of these personally, around me. This goes beyond gender, age and status. It is 2017. We are well into the 21st century where we don’t even need to prove the need for equality. So lets break the good old boys thing and the ‘boys will be boys’ excuse and let’s learn to be respectable and decent human beings. Don’t let the Bill O’Reillys of the world win. Let’s move past the standard ‘shove it under the carpet till the world notices the stench’ and be proactive. 

So putting this politely, let’s grow some spines.

6

Of being a p*tty mouth…

This post is not for underage kids, although I seriously question if kids these days even sit down to read anything while they are busy with their BAEs and YOLOs.

F*ck is a four letter word and not a three letter + asterisk word. Profound thought right? (For the curious, I use the asterisk, not because I feel shy of using these words, but to prevent pervs from landing on my page.) It has been a part of my vocabulary like clockwork as soon as I entered high school. I still was a good girl when I got into junior high, but by the end of it, I knew many more such fun words. My speech was still relatively clearer when I started college. Enter my friend AM, and the F word was rolling off my tongue with surprising ease. Since then, I have struggled hard to keep the usage of such slang to a minimum, but alas, the damage has been done.

My first memory of cuss words, are through my uncle(dad’s brother). He has no control over his tongue, or over that bottle of alcohol, for that matter. He would cuss like no tomorrow and the little me would gaze at him in part amazement and part disgust. He used Hindi swear words too which just have a tendency to leave a worse impression on me for whatever reason. Maybe I am an elitist in my head, I don’t know.

My father has always been very constrained about using cuss words around me and has lost control very rarely. Some of the times have been India-Pakistan cricket matches where the excitement is generously peppered with slightly milder version of cussing than my uncle’s. Another moment that I remember distinctly was the time my dad and I were at a gas station and the attendant was trying to cheat my dad into paying more money. I think I was in high school then. While driving away, in the car, my dad said a particular word that was in Marathi(my mother tongue) and that was the first time I had ever heard it. I giggled and asked him the meaning, and threatened to tell my mom if he refused. Very sheepishly, he answered, “Female reproductive part…” and shushed me after that. I had fits of laughter the whole way home and obviously I relayed the incident right away to my amused mom.

I have definitely struggled all these years to not utter the F-word in front of my parents. But after I started working, frustration is often vented out to my parents and nothing helps me convey my feelings better than calling some particular people F-ing morons. They have been surprisingly okay about it, but do ‘ahhemmm’ a bit if my swearing goes out of control. An occasional thwack on the head helps too. I try everything in my power to not use these words around kids. They are going to be exposed to bad words at school later anyways, but I don’t want to be the person who polluted their seemingly innocent minds and vocabulary. I don’t even want to be a part of the conversation where after my careless utterance, they would want to know the meaning. Also just generally, I would like to clean up my language a bit more. Hearing people use swear words like punctuation, for seemingly no reason, has started to make me cringe. Heck, I cant maintain conversation with some people who obviously think that swear words are the ‘in thing’. I cant watch a lot of TV shows that have free flowing abuses. I have trouble reading and enjoying articles with too much slang.  It’s just a general preference that has become more nuanced with age, like enjoying Planet Earth over MTV Roadies.

But unfortunately, the feelings conveyed through ‘That F*ck@ll pig’ are still way more satisfying than ‘That terrible person’.

9

Actions and pro-actions

Of course I have 800 issues with the world and it’s people. Also, these days 800 seems to be my favorite number to describe anything. What annoys me the most is when people do not act on issues they are already aware of, and are completely sure about future problems arising out of those. In my humble(not so much) opinion, I am quite pro-active and take care of most of the things in a timely manner, unless it involves long term life decisions. Then, my head is firmly buried in the sand.

For the uninitiated and my readers from outside India, I belong to the state of Maharashtra from India and we are called Maharashtrian or Marathi. There are a LOT of communities in India and almost all have different cultures unique to them. Weddings in different communities also involve unique rituals and customs. There is a ritual in Marathi weddings where the groom’s mother sits in between the couple and holds out a mirror where they see a reflection of the trio. And then after that(or before, not entirely sure) she will use a comb to lightly do the bride’s hair(lightly because she doesn’t want the bride to flip out by ruining the elaborate and expensive hairstyle). Every Marathi wedding has these rituals and everyone knows what’s coming. Yet, the mirror and the comb are the last things to be bought during wedding preparations, almost as an afterthought. Due to that, they get the ugliest comb and mirror, from roadside vendors, that are made out of cheap plastic in garish colors like bright pink, green, yellow, brown. Aaargggh! Way to ruin the pictures! If I ever get married, an intricately made comb and mirror is going to be a part of the first set of purchase!

I get uncomfortable with indecisive and weak willed people with respect to food. My first issue is their lack of will power which extends across their personality rather than their food habits, but for the sake of the topic, I will restrict myself to diets. I was talking to a friend the other day and he commented that he went on a diet to bring his cholesterol in control and reduce weight. Then he told me how he was out of groceries since a couple of days, and had to eat $0.49 Ramen for lunch and dinner. My question was why would he not go and replenish his refrigerator and pantry on time when he knew he was going to be on a diet. Why react when he could have pro-acted on the choice he had made? He knew his food chart, and his plan. I got further annoyed when he said that he did get groceries, but not enough, because he thought he will go back within the next couple of days to the store. Sheesh! And we are talking about a guy who rarely goes to the grocery store more than once a month and then eats a bag of Lays for dinner. Everyone goes through lazy grocery days, but when it is a habit, there is a problem.

Airports are stressful, intimidating(with the TSA and all that) and a place where you have to be on top of your time! When I get into the line for security, I start checking my pockets and put the phone in my handbag. Next, I take my belt off and put it in the handbag as well. I try wearing slide-off shoes like Toms or Bobs to get in and out of them quickly. If I am wearing boots, I unzip them in the line, ready to take them off right away. And then, when I am almost at the security conveyor belt, I am usually stuck behind someone who has shoes with elaborate fasteners, a jacket with more buttons than my entire wardrobe put together, enough necklaces to put 2 Chainz to shame, and to annoy me further, bracelets, bangles and watches. Then at the body check area, they will go “Whoops! My phone!” Enough said!

There are so many, many more things that bother me, but I don’t want to elaborate anymore because I want y’all to think of me as a pink unicorn who walks in a cloud of lavender. But the gist is, if there is something you know that HAS to be done, PLAN AHEAD! You may be totally chilled out, but my blood pressure is at stake(for no reason). And in a teeny, tiny way, it may prove useful to you too. 

16

How to conquer your (tiny)fears…

Do you ever feel totally freaked out by completely normal things that have no reason to be afraid of? Yes? YES? I feel you guys! I go through some situations day in, and day out where I come across seemingly normal things, panic, cry and then calm down and tackle that. Nope, I am not talking about love, relationships, life. Those are unconquerable monsters and we shall leave them there. These are some of the things I have developed a level of comfort with. I have developed small ways to tackle my fears and let me nudge you in the right direction..

Phones : Do you ever feel that your heart jumps when your phone rings? Are you the kind of a person who will actually let it ring rather than answer, and then call back? Does your heart flutter when you are making a call? (Do I sound like one of the those TV Skymall people?) Ani very well knows how scary phone calls are for me and how nervous calling anyone would make me. It is simple to deal with it. Don’t answer. If it’s an unknown number and important, it will go to voicemail. If it’s known, it’s your judgement if you want to take 3-5 business days to call back or text (so much easier!) Meanwhile, turn off the blue ticks on your Whatsapp.

Alcohol: It still remains one of the most unpredictable things I deal with. One is a teaspoon, two can be the Pacific Ocean. Yes, that has happened. If you do want to drink, take it easy. There is no need to glug anything down. A happy high is always better than being sloppy drunk, for you as well as your company. I am also beyond that age where any drinking had to be hardcore. Find out what you like, if you really do want to be a social drinker, and stick to that while exploring in moderation. And keep your phone away, trust me.

Packing for trips: I was a roll and throw kinda gal till I had two amazing packers(not Green Bay, sad joke) around me. But when I could no longer use the services of both of them(my dad and the xBF), I had to take things into my own hands, quite literally. Packing overwhelms me to the point of tears. So I make lists, gather everything on my bed, and start going at it one by one. I still am a massive over-packer (“Oooh, what if I do want to wear this top but I don’t have it!”) but atleast I am efficient now.

Makeup: I started out with concealer when my face had more red blotches than craters on the moon and I realized how intimidating it all is! But then I started reading blogs, and I was very fascinated by beauty gurus on youtube. I like the artistic side of it, and I don’t find it scary anymore. Unless we are talking about 800 layers like the Kardashians. Nope. So, if you want to dabble with makeup, just watch the videos, and practice on yourself. Nothing is better than being in PJs and watching Netflix with a perfect winged eyeliner, well, except being out and about with that winged eyeliner.

Selfies and pictures: Before I begin, I need to put this out, again. If you take my picture and do not show me a preview, you are dead to me. Anyhoo, if you feel uncomfortable at the thought of getting pictures taken, don’t even look at the camera. Just look at the person taking the pictures and smile as if they are nougat candy dripping in chocolate. Most importantly, remember to stay still because it’s a picture and not a video. I have way too many fidgety friends and I just want to ‘Petrificus Totalus’ them.

Babies: Babies are probably the most intimidating things around that scream ‘adulthood’. How ironic is that! I used to be freaked out by babies and was convinced that I don’t know how to actually handle them. But I realized it isn’t that bad. You can talk to them like they are normal people. They most likely can’t tell the difference anyways. If you are scared of holding them, it will be good for you to know that they are actually quite resilient. Like, don’t throw them around WWE style, but you can hold them quite normally too. They are squishy, but not too delicate. Nature has intended them to be squeezed out, swung around and to survive most bumps and bruises.

It’s okay to be scared and confused. You don’t even have to overcome those fears. Just learn to live through them. Now excuse me while I call my mom. That’s scary for a whole another reason, though.

16

The 5th!

It is my blog baby’s 5th birthday, and I cant believe that it has been so long! So thankful to all of you for the motivation, inspiration and appreciation! While I go and sniffle out of emotions and to clear out a cold, I am leaving here 5 principles that I try to live by. I am going to call them ‘5 elements of PB.’

1. Worship your body: The old adage the health is wealth still holds extremely true. Walk, run, swim, bike, do whatever makes you happy and makes you sweat. I have convinced myself not to give up at the first sign of weakness. I do this at least 3 times a week coupled with free weights for an hour minimum and I hope I will have less problems to deal with as I get older. Although, I cant deny the fact that vanity is a huge motivating factor. Keep moving!

2. Eat food: What is life without food? I start thinking of dinners as soon as I get to work at 7.30 am. And, I keep moving, so I can keep eating. I stick to one healthy meal a day of salad or a smoothie, and a nice hot and light dinner. This lets me hog whatever I want over weekends when I go out or make elaborate meals at home.

3. Pet every dog possible: It is my mission in life to tell every dog that he is a good boy and she is a good girl. They need that closure to the life long question “Now who’s a good boy?!”

4. Be nice: This comes from a very negative aspect of my personality where I have anger management issues. I struggle with anger, resentment, and inability to forget. So, I try to be nice to make up for that. I try my best to be kind to animals and work for them. I try to be nice to people irrespective of how they have treated me, and I try to do bits for people in need who will never meet me. I am trying to be less hurtful and channel my anger properly. But I do say sorry very quickly!

5. Don’t worry about people who wont worry for you: I am quite close to attainment of moksha because finally I have brought this into practice. I am not going to bother myself by thinking about people who don’t make me happy. Life is too short to get bogged down by someone who makes you feel inferior and to force relationships on people who clearly make you feel unwanted. Move on, move out.

See you all next year!
(Just kidding, see you whenever I write the next post.)

17

Travelogue : Tips to achieve inflight zen

Have you seen the movie Non-Stop? It has Liam Neeson in it doing what he does best, that is to look all serious and broody and conflicted. Trust me guys, I would never get into a flight with that guy, he is simply bad luck, with that serious face. The other reason why the movie bothered me so much is because of a scene where he fights with one of the accused villains in the ECONOMY CLASS and during the fight, the villain falls down between the seat in the next rows. and guess what? HE DISAPPEARS! How did a guy manage to disappear in the cattle class where it is difficult to even cross and uncross your legs. Try dropping something between the seats and trying to pick that up. I would rather dip my hand in that hot(lukewarm) cup of coffee that they serve in-flight.
The point is, flights are uncomfortable, messy and leave you with the sensation of having been digested in a whale’s stomach. I have taken a lot of long distance flights, with my longest flight ever being 18 hours from New York City to Mumbai, India, as well as domestic flights from East Coast to West Coast. I have learned to deal with the in-flight discomfort with some of my travel tricks. Many of these tricks are common to roadtrips too that I take many times. It becomes equally irritating in cars, specially when you are with company in the back seats and cannot lie down and promptly doze off. Sharing with you some tidbits that may help you stay calm and not kill the person next to you hogging your armrest.

  • Neck pillow: I had been putting off buying this for the longest time because I always thought of better things to do with $20. But on my last flight to India, I had to take a redeye to NYC, endure a 5 hour layover and then to Abu Dhabi before I could step foot at homeland. I got so uncomfortable on my first flight that as soon as I got to JFK, I bought one, and promptly went off to sleep on a small couch that I found near my gate. It is a savior, you guys!
  • Moisturizer, lip balm, small hairbrush: I am obsessed with lip balms thanks to sometimes single digit humidity in Southern California. My lips and palms are somehow always parched and it simply gets worse in flights with the controlled air. I always keep a small tube of moisturizer and lipbalm to hydrate my skin. A flight is far more comfortable if your lips don’t feel like Sahara dessert. The only reason I carry a hairbrush is to not scare the poor immigration officer and the person who volunteers to pick me up at airports. Long hair don’t take much time to look like a bird’s nest. This is also where those samples from Sephora, Ulta and magazines come in handy.
  • A book/Kindle: Time flies(literally) when you have a trusty book with you. My Kindle is one thing I never ever forget on a journey. I have more affection for a nice paperback or hardcover, but an eReader makes life easier when space and weight is a constraint. The seemingly immortal battery life is a definite plus when your phone fails to make the cute(looking at you iPhone!)
  • Sugar candy and baby food pouches: Now this is one strange tip that I picked up after having a couple of flights where I got really hangry. I buy a few of those fruit puree baby food pouches because they take minimal space and make a tasty vegetarian/vegan snack in a crunch. The hard-boiled sugar candies are good to suck on during takeoff and landings because they stimulate the salivary gland and prevent your ears from that painful popping. They are also useful if you are around a crying kid. Win-win for both. Do ask the parents first.
  • Socks: It would be rather nice to just wear flipflops for a flight, but I get very cold easily and for some reason angry when I am cold. I have to wear a pair of cozy socks and Toms so that I am comfy and warm. Many international flights do give socks in their flight kits though.
  • Oversized hoodie: Like I mentioned earlier, I get cold easily and the flight blanket covers either my neck or my toes. So to avoid losing my temper at the poor blanket, I just like to wear a hoodie that will cover my ears and neck snugly while the blanket keeps my legs and toes toasty.
  • Phone charger, headphones: It is always nice to carry your own headphones in case they work with the in-flight entertainment system. You can even listen to your own music and watch videos on the phone. I always have the phone charging cable, and a portable charging bank because I don’t trust my phone to last the whole time. It also helps to carry a long 10 ft charger cable if you have long layovers. Throw in a multiple USB charger if you are looking for blessings from people trying to find empty sockets.
  • A small bag: If you have a carryon and a personal item, I try to carry just a small drawstring bag or a sling bag. my bag usually fits all the items mentioned above snugly and it takes up minimum space under the seat. With the baby sized legspace that airlines give you, the last thing you want is a backpack taking up that area. Sometimes I carry this drawstring bag inside a backpack(that has even more stuff) that I put in the luggage bin, so that I have my essentials on me and rest of the stuff overhead. 

This list should help you travel more comfortably I hope and will keep you calm and stress-free. Let me know if you have anything to add here. Anything to make me not feel like Hulk in my next flight, is greatly appreciated. Meanwhile, go on tripping.com to check out some great deals on vacation rentals and start planning your next trip. I am already thinking about Florida this year and I see they have amazing beach rentals. Go ahead, get hold of a cute bungalow, book that flight and start packing your bags!

Happy travels!

15

I don’t need enemies…

…When I have myself!

I am not exaggerating, you guys. I am right on track to destroy my social life, alienate friends and to kill any chance of finding a life partner or even starting a relationship.

I met up with friends over the last weekend and I was telling her how I am so lazy that I just don’t want to step out of my home anymore. I had a date lined up since a few weeks but I have been postponing it for one or the other reason. Although the first week I had stomach cramps and had to cancel another dinner plan. But after that, I have had no reason. I left the town to go to San Diego on Saturday morning and my Friday was wide open and plan-less! But rather than going and meeting this guy, I decided that being on the couch and watching TV is a better option. I may have just lost the love of my life(Rrriiggghhtt!) I had a date planned a few months back too. But the phone call to plan it kind of cooled it for me. He made atleast 10 mentions of some club that used to be in the vicinity of the brewery I was suggesting and sounded concerned that in all my years of living here versus his 2, I hadn’t preferred to spend my every waking moment there. So, when he texted 3 hours before the date that his friend ‘had a fracture suddenly’, I was more than happy at his sad excuse. I went to tell my girl Adriane that I don’t have the date anymore and she commented that I was positively glowing at the prospect of not having anything to do that Friday. 

These aren’t really one off incidences. I already am famous for refusing to do absolutely anything on weekdays, save for Wednesday softballs. I spend my day at work, work out in the evening, and I want to go back home and do nothing but watch ‘Kuch Rang Pyar Ke Aise Bhi’(obsessed with the show!). My plum sized brain refuses to understand that I will have zero Rang Pyar Ke if I don’t step out, meet people, and invest energy to get something started. Even when I start talking to people online through Anuroop, I only want to text. I cant help feel exhausted already when they suggest a phonecall. My weekends are spent in pre-decided plans with friends, or trying to not get out my bed to even see sunlight. Where does that leave me any time to devote to guys? 

This is not good for me. Since I first started dating at around 17-18, this is the longest that I have been single. I have become used to being alone, although I don’t like being lonely. I have become accustomed to doing things my way and spending my time the way I want to. My last relationship also happened to be the longest relationship I have had and so I have lost touch with my dating mindsight. I have not had to try and be nice, and impress anyone for years now(6 years today actually.) Things just flowed when the xBF and I decided to take our friendship to the next level. All this business of talking and connecting with people, has totally left my comfort zone. I can talk without worry with anyone where there is no prospect or suggestion of anything else. Anything other than that makes me clam up. It also doesn’t help that I am feeling quite under-confident about myself, with respect to looks, and even more, personality. I just don’t feel that I have that ‘stuff’ in me anymore that can be liked by someone, so, why even try! I know, I know, that is the wrong way to go about, specially when I am so keen on ending this lonliness. But old habits die hard, eh?

I guess I just have to keep telling myself to get out of the house right? Although, all this hardwork, effort and the subsequent ranting in this space can be saved if one simply falls in love with me at first sight. Is that too much to ask for?

—————

PS : Usually on social media and blogs, people color their lives to make them look more exciting and better than reality. I have succeeded in doing the opposite. To all the concerned people, my life isn’t as sad as it looks from the post. Take it with a pinch of salt, and some lime and tequila.

14

Such A Nasty Woman

She was born to a set of happy parents and mildly unhappy relatives. She did not have any siblings. The extended family hugged her, blessed her everytime that they met her, and then tut-tut-ed wondering how the family name would continue. She failed to understand why was that even important. She went to college, got her degree and earned herself a job. She got married off to a reasonably decent guy, and embraced motherhood obediently after a year. The husband and the baby needed a full time care-giver, and that was the end of her career. When she put her foot down and demanded support from her husband after 2 years of feeling shut-down from the world, she was called ‘a nasty woman’.

She was born to doting parents and had a happy childhood. She got through school with a flair for the languages. She was a smart student and took to writing in college. She had a lot of friends, and gender was insignificant to her. She met someone amazing and after a 3 year relationship, she had a diamond on her finger. One fine day, there was an objection to her going out for dinner with her best friend, a boy. And then, there were more. When she refused to ‘cut it out’, she was called ‘a nasty woman’.

She was a headturner and a sassy, confident girl. She was an honors student at college and was a master cocktail-mixer. She smiled too much, laughed too much, and had too many boys as friends. The whispers had it that she was ‘easy’. She enjoyed living her life at her own terms. She threw amazing parties, and was a natural event organizer. She just made one mistake, that of trusting her friend. When she took herself and her bruises to demand justice, they said she was asking for it. She was called ‘a nasty woman’.

She was one of the best at her firm. She believed in efficiency, over donkey work.  She received the best reviews possible from her clients. She would get to work on time, put in her 200%, and leave on time. Yet, she was looked over for promotion to be a team leader because the bachelor boys stayed until 10 pm(nothing better to do at home, plus free dinner at cafeteria!) She escalated the issue to the HR. The word was that she was too pretty and young to be a lead. When she objected, proving herself to be the most deserving, she was called ‘a nasty woman’.

They tried to break the glass ceiling, to build a better world, to provide themselves a better life, to get educated, to love beyond s*xuality standards, to follow the God they believe in, to have a right to their own body, to decide for their future, to save Mother Earth. But that tag never left them. ‘Such a nasty woman’.

All the #NastyWomen unite!

 

6

Castles in the air

It’s a semi-rainy Thursday in here at work and I can see some sunlight poking out of impossibly fluffy clouds. My boss has left for the weekend and I am somewhat done with what I had to do but not completely done with the project. I want to finish it soon, but as of now, my brain refuses to deal with it. I can imagine a hundred other things that I could be doing right now if I had the liberty to flake at work.

  • Food taster : This is the life you guys. Getting paid to go out, eat and review food has to be one of the best professions around. I refuse to pay heed to Debbie Downers who talk about health, fats, monotony and such bland stuff. I would love to do this if I get a chance. Order a bunch of food, taste a bit of everything, and down what you like best. You generally get to try a few courses and get served in the best possible way. After your meal, you get to skip the depressing part where you have to whip out your wallet. Eat, repeat, and bolt. And workout.
  • Hair and makeup model : I am an odd person. I absolutely love it when someone is doing something to my hair. Even if they are barely braiding or even just touching my hair, it makes me all happy and tingly. Same goes for someone working on my skin. Aah, bliss. I understand that a lot of beauty and hair bloggers/vloggers need faces and heads to work on. Do think of your homegirl, will ya?
  • Dog walker : Dogs. DOGS! Do I even need to explain how much I love the little, or big, furry, or hairy, buns of pure affection? As mommy has strictly asked me not to get one for the next few years, I have to be content with doggie-sitting my friends’ dogs which doesn’t happen often enough. I have looked into a walking service, but my visa won’t quite allow me to get another job even if it’s just paperwork and unpaid. I have looked at volunteering also, and so far things haven’t worked with respect to timings. Hopefully, soon. I look forward to walking puppers, requesting them to poop and then ensuring that they do know ‘Who’s a good boy!’
  • Sand castle architect : The one place I look forward to most for the coming summer, is the beach. The warm sand, the blue water, golden sun-rays, useless sunscreen, I look forward to all of that! I think I would be really good at drawing up blueprints of castles and instructing my minions, err, groups of kids, to build them according to the plan. I can make really pretty castles and my mechanical engineering background gives me a good idea about material strength and malleability of sand. So, why not?
  • Cocktail artist : I can mix up some basic alcohol and have a general idea of what goes together with what. I have been reading up a bit on mixology and I have a teensy crush on female bartenders. There is a certain badass attitude involved and it gives that extra flair to the profession. I think I can do it. Except the juggling skills, where I will be a disaster, thanks to my total lack of hand-eye coordination.
  • Chocolate quality analyist : If there is heaven on earth, it’s not Kashmir, but the Ghirardelli or Lindt factory. Even if all that chocolate kills me, I will be at peace knowing that I passed on with a kick of endorphins. I will gladly accept half of my current paycheck, if it means trying out every piece of new chocolate to come out of those stores. I don’t even want to write anymore about it, because it makes me so misty-eyed and drooly.

I have good alternate career plans to look forward to. But as of now, back to calculating the correct blade exit angle and the velocity profile.