25

Will be nice to not watch our backs.

I was in a somewhat upsetting situation last weekend where I was feeling creeped out by this Canadian Anuroop guy that I had rejected 2 years back. He had emailed me a few times after that, but I made it clear that I was not interested, and any which ways, he was in Canada. He texted me a couple weeks ago on Whatsapp to find out if my location preference still held true, and I confirmed it in one sentence. Then he texted me after a couple of days commenting on my picture. So, of course, I blocked him on Whatsapp. After that he texted me on normal text. That’s when I lost it. I called my parents and told them what is going on and to report him to Anuroop, in case he contacts me again.

Also, I am done with Anuroop. I am not going down that route anymore and I have pretty much convinced my parents(we go through waves) that if it has to happen, it will happen organically. Not through this dumb way.

While my parents and I were talking, I started talking on the issue of how guys just end up being creeps one way or the other, where maybe they don’t even realize that they are doing that. It made me so upset that I could not stop my tears. How easy for them it is, to just EXIST like a NORMAL PERSON living their life.

Men dont have to constantly watch their backs to have some women leering at them. They dont have to look around to see if they can adjust their straps without it looking like a come-hither-invite. How many of you have seen women simply go ahead and expose themselves to you, for shitzngiggles? Or scratched their supposedly-private areas while keeping their eye on you? How hard is it for a single man to walk past a group of women? Why is this shitty behavior this prominent?

The thought of their gender and partaking in activities, saying something, doing something has no connection. Whereas, women have the fact that they are women, constantly in their mind, while walking, talking, or just living.

C’mon people, we can do better than this. At some point all men, specially Indian men, need to realize there is a reason that women are complaining. Statistically, Indian men have an unfavorable opinion with respect to dating and relationship, and we better work on that.

Buck up, guys. The world is watching.

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8

Perils of honesty

I have been a yelper since a couple of years now. My yelp reviews started because I was tired of lack of information on vegetarian items. After browsing through restaurant menus when I looked up for pictures or reviews of meatless stuff, I would usually draw a blank. That led me to spend a lot of money on underwhelming stuff and I decided to be Yelp-woman! Say it like Superwoman to get the effect that I am trying to go for.

I would happily rate a place 4 star if I liked it, or even 5 star if I loved it. In my books, 3 star is for an okay place and a 2 star is not good. I don’t really go for 1 star. I would write honestly, and sincerely, and even mentioned positive points in a not-so-positive review. Fair enough, right?

But no! My big mouth and big smartphone got me in trouble last week. I had to open my big mouth while out for lunch, and my boss figured I am on yelp. He decided to follow me since he likes eating out, and likes many places that I do too. Coincidentally, a couple of days back, I gave a BAD review to a Mexican restaurant near our office. I did mention that I really liked their burrito, but it was literally the only good thing. The day my boss followed me on Yelp, my manager and some coworkers went for lunch to the same place. They got back and my manager(adorable older guy) comes into my office(yep, I have an office!) and tells me that the server girl asked for me! She legit asked for me and said she wanted to talk and discuss the bad review! I was shaken up, to be honest. I have been contacted on Yelp by business owners, but not like this.

The big boss then starts laughing and says that he did see that I did not review them well. Then he asked me, if I knew how bad it was for business. In the next 5 minutes, he sowed guilt deep into my heart by telling how he knew the family who runs the place, since his family home was in the same area, and how nice they are, and that he has seen businesses being shut down, and how he only gives 5 star to help people out or 1 star if it is really bad, or never under the average stars. He went on to say that taste is subjective. Well, I agree with that, but that is the reason why there is AVERAGE in the first place! And I am reviewing what I ate per my vegetarian taste buds and what my friends said about what they got!

But anyways, the seed of guilt was in. So I told my manager that I was going to stop by after work to talk to them. My manager got super concerned that I was upset because he knows I am sensitive and basically a nice person(if I may say so!) He asked me to text him back by 5 so he knows I am safe. Ha! But when I went, the girl who had asked for me was gone. I did not go back there for my Friday lunch, because I am scared out of my wits, and in-the-food spits! My fellow Yelper and friend also shares the same fears and suggests definitely not going back. Although, my manager said they were very nice, and the girl sincerely wanted to ask what was wrong. This story has spread in our tiny office, and the Shopfloor Manager tells me everytime they go to the place for lunch and I sense sarcasm. Admittedly, this area is very secluded and not too many options.

So what is the takeaway from this?
  1. It sucks to be honest as also explained here: Honesty is not always the best policy
  2. My office location is quite secluded and very few eateries around, and I must go out every Friday atleast. I should have thought this through.
  3. I also updated the review to mention that it is a good thing that they wanted to discuss, etc. and bumped up 2 stars. This guilt is less than the previous guilt.
  4. It is stressful being me.
4

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

That starburst is real,
You have a glow inside of you,
That rapture of light,

This confidence is brand new.

You are learning to shine,
Accepting your power,
You can be carbon steel,

Or delicate like flowers.

I am telling you, yes, you!
Wonderwoman of this age,
It’s all within your reach,

Just turn the damn page.

I know you will persist,
Inspite of what they say,
The fears will come and go,

But strong willed you will stay.

Keep doing what you are,
you are the chosen one,
Nothing can dim you now,
Shine on, you crazy diamond!

 

 

***Title borrowed from one of my fav Pink Floyd songs…
0

Low key troll(me!)

I have a kaadi-dimaag per my mom. To my non-Indian friends, this is a very colloquial way to put that I have a mischievous side to me that likes to stir up trouble. I thought of a few harmless ways you can derive a little laughter from the mundane things in life. Some of these have been used by me or someone I knew. I still gets tears of laughter everytime I remember his innocent troll.

  1. Order a pizza and when prompted for a name, say ‘Friend’. I swear I laughed till I cried at this.
  2. At a coffee shop, order a Tall drink and give your name as not-so-tall.
  3. Tell someone walking their dog that their cat is very cute and well-trained.
  4. Ask your co-worker why was his passenger tire missing.
  5. Ask a Rajput dissing Padmavati if he has actually seen the movie.
  6. Mention current GDP in a casual conversation with your Modi-bhakt cousin.
  7. Forward a meme about Whatsapp forwards to your entire contact list.
  8. Hide a Table Tennis/Ping pong plastic ball in a roomie’s carton of eggs.
  9. Claim that your friend is planning a golf outing the morning of his wedding, in front of the bride.
  10. Act like you sneezed while passing a round of drinks.

Leave some ideas in the comments below! Till then, happy trolling!

PS: Any side-effects or injuries arising, are your own doings and I don’t owe a dot of responsibility. *shrugs*

6

A Southern California winter.

When I was in India, and packing for my move to USA as a brand new Grad student, I realized I had to buy new winter clothes, for things like ice, snow, sleet, etc. I imagined myself sashaying down the road in a beige trenchcoat with sky high boots and a red beanie perched on my head. But all the expectations went for a toss when I realized San Diego is a part of southern California and it’s a paradise in the big bad world of America. I spoke to a senior who was already there since a year and she told me that I will rarely need warm clothes. So I happily carried ONE sweatshirt and one beanie and muffler that my friend had knitted for me.

I wish I could bury that senior in cold sand and put a brick of ice on top. What she did not tell me was that San Diego weather has a mind of it’s own. It is paradise, but only from 10 am to 3 pm, and that too only from June to August. The rest of the time, you will be fighting between too much sun and too much wind.

Let me take you through a snapshot of SoCal winters. For the ease of writing, we will refer to the bo*ty shorts and puffer jacket wearing species as SoCalnian.

  1. When a SoCalnian says Fall colors, they mean 2 shades of brown. Light brown, and dead brown.
  2. It is normal to see a SoCalnian step out of the home, in the morning in shorts, and keep a thin hoodie, and a thick jacket in the car. Both of them come out eventually depending on the hour.
  3. The same hoodie and jacket rule is dependent on the area too. It could be a beautiful 70 deg weather, but go close to the Pacific Ocean, and you will freeze you b*tt off.
  4. A SoCalnian never takes wind lightly. And after my last Malibu camping trip, Brian has re-learnt that(His tent flew away!)
  5. We do love our boots, and we are lucky enough weather-wise to be able to rock mini skirts with boots. But no socks with sandals, please.
  6. You can have a perfect sunny day in San Diego and a massive snow blow out going on 2 hours away at Julian/Big Bear, at the same time.
  7. SoCal and NorCal are on opposite ends of a spectrum. NorCal looks, feels, and is cold, whereas SoCal has everyone hoodwinked by looking warm.
  8. Rainy season hits in the middle of winter, and if there isnt a drought, then it rains, to ruin your weekends.( I am only kidding rain Gods, please dont flood Mission Valley!)
  9. You can tell apart a SoCalnian and non-SoCalnian at any tourist point, by the souvenir hoodie they are wearing. Sudden winds prompt emergency souvenir purchases.
  10. A SoCalnian can talk about the weather every single day at breakfast, lunch or dinner, because it changes by breakfast, lunch or dinner. It can also range from 21 deg C today to 29 deg C by Wednesday. I just checked the weather app.
However it is, or whatever it is, I love this place! I was not paid by San Diego tourism board to say this all, although, I do not mind that.
39fd799da5257b3e02b4cf5f73508092--winter-is-coming-its-coming
4

A bored Instagrammer’s boring rant.

You have been warned.

It started with Youtube. I used to be obsessed with it. Watching vlogs, short films, comedians, skits, etc. Until Youtube became extremely click-baity. It has fallen into the same trap as Facebook or Whatsapp with it’s barrage of fake news, videos, and click-bait videos. “Oh my God, look what i did to my boyfriend!” And it turns out to be an extremely stupid video where the vlogger is obviously looking to increase views. I cant stand the terrible video icons that are pinned. I feel even the content creators are caught in a rut, with the exception of probably Lily Singh. Eventually, I got very bored. So, obviously, my short attention span died, and I moved my focus to something else. Instagram.

Instagram was the ideal social media app for me. Just pictures, tiny videos, and nothing more. I would post, scroll and browse for hours in a day. I found so many makeup videos, DIY tutorials, recipes on Instagram, and they were all quick time-lapse videos. Just my type. But now, my patience is coming to an end with Instagram as well and I blame the so-called Insta-celebs for that.

Instagram has also gone down the youtube(or FB?) way where most videos have really odd and many times unrelated picture icons. If I ever actually go to see a video, it is just like a gazillion others with the model dripping some foundation down her face(what a waste!), putting snow white concealer on dark circles that only she can see, and 800 layers of powders, contouring and highlighting. Every few days, there will be a new trend sweeping, and the whole Insta-celeb community will start doing the same.

If I start looking at an eye makeup tutorial, I stop it midway because I am done with the number of steps! I don’t want to spend 20 minutes doing my eyebrow(#Browgamestrong!), fake lashes(#Lashesfordays), snowy highlighter(#yaasskweeen). All I wanted was a quick tip for a winged eyeliner! Also, since when has every grocery trip started to demand such a heavy contour and highlighting? When did we all started wanting to turn into a Kardashian?! There are very, very few fashion or beauty bloggers that can be followed on Instagram who feel like a breath of fresh air. Keeping it real has turned into a gameshow of fake.

Instagram was my happy place to see cute dog or kitty videos. I loved browsing through antics of labs and golden retrievers and adorable Corgi-b*tts. But then, something scary started creepin’ into my feeds. Toddlers. Not the average, cute toddlers, but the Insta-celeb kinds. Nothing is creepier than seeing a 3 year old in a very adult trendy outfit with curled hair, lipstick and oversized sunglasses. Nothing makes me cringe more than a 4 year old looking like a 20 year old frat boy. How do you even want to see your child like that, makes me wonder. If I want to see frat or sorority kids, I just have to walk over to the closest bar. They will be there falling over each other in drunken slobbery. I will not even touch upon the kind of videos and selfies that teenagers post because it just upsets me. Why is there such a need to act like adults?

I am starting to sound like one of those whiny vloggers themselves, so I will stop my rant now. I guess, every shitty thing has it’s day and then the next shitty thing takes over. Now, is the era of click-baits and I will just have to wait it out. Till then, the golden retrievers will keep me going.

Also, if you liked this post, dont forget to like, and hit subscribe on my blog and my instagram profile. #fail

10

Oh, snap!

Have you noticed a lull on my blog since a few months? No? you clearly lie. Because I have and the lull is so loud, its almost obnoxious. I keep thinking of going back and writing, but I feel like my fingers weigh a 100 pounds each and typing is way too much. How I wish we can get to the point soon that I talk, and the keyboard gets it and writes. I know the smartphones have that technology, but I dont have the accent that it requires! First world problems.

I wish I could just say, “You guys! there is so much to tell! But I am just being lazy!” Nope. Honestly, I have no material to talk about. There was a big change with respect to job and home, but that’s done and dusted. I wrote about it. How much more can I talk about a city and work environment change without sounding like a crazy confused person? It happened, it has been a mix of emotions, and that’s that. Should I write about my parents being here? But everyone knows how it is to be with parents for extended times. There is nothing much to talk about there as well! They were here for 5 months, and we had a good time. I tried very hard, and my behavior was marginally better than last time, which I kept on insisting and they nodded in agreement(or to stop making me shout anymore). Also, I was glad they were here, for the apartment change. I have WAY TOO MUCH stuff. But I am also sort of happy that all of us have our lives back now. They are at home, doing what they please, and same goes for me.

Do you want to hear about my life as a social butterfly? What do I even say about my friends and going out, and the fun nights to not sound like a ditzy chick? I had a good Halloween party, couple of dinners and brewery turns with friends, cozy evenings at home with family(parents + Abhi-Nish), a weekend trip with Shawn and Alicia, an anxiety attack at a party that I handled like a pro, and relaxing weekends by myself in this short time here so far. I am going camping over the coming weekend for our annual Malibu disco beach camping! Then there is thanksgiving dinner coming up in Orange County. My friends are also coming over for a Friendsgiving/Stock the bar party in December. I am atleast getting out of my home more than before and I deserve a pat on the back for that! But y’all know how that is. Everyone will be busy with the holiday season coming up so nothing to show off.

Is there any boy in sight? What a ‘haha’ joke. Don’t worry, I run away at the first sight of anyone interested. So nothing to write about here also.

So, if you have made it till here, nice! Here it is. my post about nothing. *Insert Seinfeld joke*

6

Food nightmares

I dreamt of my worst fears last night. I was living with a friend/sister(?) and her husband and we are taking care of the potted plants in the patio. I realize that both of us are pregnant and that too in the 9th month of pregnancy. The other girl is telling me about some of the contractions that she has been getting lately and that day turns out to be my due date as well. I realize that I have not had a single contraction yet and I get worried. I suddenly realize that I did sort of had my menses recently though and I get confused. I go back to check my calendar on my phone and it turns out that I am right! I did have my cycles! And then it hit me. I was not pregnant. I just got really. really fat!

Have you ever eaten so much that the food ended up translating into your worst nightmares? Well, I was that anaconda last night who forgot the size of her stomach and proceeded to stuff her face.

That’s it, you guys. I am going on a diet. I haven’t worked out since August and I need my fit body back. I can’t deal with all the winter food and the super-round face I have going on. Especially not with these kind of dreams!

Wish me luck!